Struggling to remain calm

I find myself losing the plot so quickly atm. I have a 2 year old who is testing the boundaries and I am fully failing at remaining calm. I’m shouting all the time. I am exhausted. I work full time while studying for a doctorate programme. My husband and I work opposite shifts to help keep childcare costs down. We live an hour from any family. We don’t have siblings and very limited other family. My mum is the only one who helps but I can’t ask her to visit all the time.

I just need to help myself regulate and I can regulate her but I didn’t expect me to be like this. I’m normally such a calm person. But the pressures are huge atm

I can’t drop to part time work as it’s part of the course and the course is 3 years. There’s no time to catch my breath.

Any help on how to stop myself from getting annoyed all the time??

I’m so sad I’m so useless 💔 x

I feel like I’m really grieving my old life atm too and I miss just not having responsibilities atm 😭 I feel awful saying it. Am I broken?

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You’re not broken at all! We all have moments like this my love and trust me, it’s normal you’re human! We all run out of the patience battery at times, especially when there’s so much going on and there’s no time to unwind. Realistically the only time you have for yourself is when your child is asleep 😅 as cliche as it might sound, deep breath exercises is what stops me from getting too angry, or course it won’t always work but most of the time it will and it will also help you to regulate yourself too! Keep going mama you’ve got this and don’t let yourself or anyone tell you you’re useless, we’re the best our kids can have 🫶🏻

I think you've definitely bitten off more than you can chew and im saying that with genuine sympathy.

Is there any way you can delay the course?

This sounds totally normal. I am the same, I get so overwhelmed and feel like my child was getting the worst parts of me. I decided to stop studying and change jobs to a part time role and the pressure just lifted. I did so well, no shouting, was making my son's lunches for school, on top of all the stuff and then I became unexpectedly pregnant. Since then I've gone back to being short and irritated again. I try to take moments out or moments to myself when I can but it is HARD. Can you do something out of the house just for you for an hour a week?

in our community

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We had a lovely big trip planned for today to Chessington. The whole family. Grandparents, cousins etc.
My 5 year old has been absolutely awful, not listening last night so I thought I’d give her the benefit of the doubt. But she’s been awake since 5;30 this morning, come into her sisters bedroom who is 2 and jumped on her playfully but hurt her, both myself and her dad asked her to stop but she continued and now my 2 year old is in bits. On top of that she was rude to my husband when he asked her to leave the room, and now I really don’t want to take her to Chessington because why should she?! Her behaviour is awful.
But it means myself my husband and our 2 year old missing out too. And I don’t want to punish our 2 year old for something she hasn’t done. I’ve got no one else to leave our 5 year old with because everyone is going today.
What do you do in these situations? How do you punish one without it being unfair on the other?

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Which school would you choose?

First school is a good school, small school, within a 14 min walk, no bus, people are not your kind of people.

Second school is a good school, huge school, within 18 min walk, 9 min by bus, people are more your kind of people.