Fake love

I noticed that my husbands family often leaves him out of things…they never come out to visit, my husbands the one who always makes the drive to visit them (they live 4-5 hrs away), he reaches out to call them often. I’m noticing all these things and it’s making me dislike them. Most recently, on fb (this may sound childish, but just something I noticed) his older sister, posts all of the siblings and their family for their birthdays, milestones etc.. but leaves my husband out 🤔). I’m biting my tongue letting my husband know how I feel about it all, but I don’t want to cause any issues.

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I have no idea what to say about what to do.

But in addition to what you do eventually do, treat him like you feel incredibly lucky you have him all to yourself. That behaviour, how it comes out in the way you are with him, will make him feel confident he can be sure of the ground he's walking on with you and that can make up for a lot.

Don't underestimate the power of being his person.

My husband and I are pretty vocal on how we feel about each other’s family dynamic/relationship.

We both don’t take it personal as we have always known for long time or we didn’t see it that way and it opens up everything and makes more sense in some situations.

I’m currently in low contact with most of my family members because they’re toxic and not worth for my mental health. I’m also in my healing journey and putting myself first.

If he isn’t complaining and it isn’t making him feel bad, then I’d just leave it. People have weird relationships dynamics, and maybe for them this is normal. My ex’s family were like this, in 12 years they came to our home once, but that’s just the way they were. It never caused any upset or anything. If it’s bothering him, then I’d say talk to him and offer support.

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What do you do in these situations?

We had a lovely big trip planned for today to Chessington. The whole family. Grandparents, cousins etc.
My 5 year old has been absolutely awful, not listening last night so I thought I’d give her the benefit of the doubt. But she’s been awake since 5;30 this morning, come into her sisters bedroom who is 2 and jumped on her playfully but hurt her, both myself and her dad asked her to stop but she continued and now my 2 year old is in bits. On top of that she was rude to my husband when he asked her to leave the room, and now I really don’t want to take her to Chessington because why should she?! Her behaviour is awful.
But it means myself my husband and our 2 year old missing out too. And I don’t want to punish our 2 year old for something she hasn’t done. I’ve got no one else to leave our 5 year old with because everyone is going today.
What do you do in these situations? How do you punish one without it being unfair on the other?

Weaning

Posting incognito as I feel like a failure, my little boy is 8 months old and loves his food but I am so scared of him chocking so he has purées, I have tried BLW and had to stop him from chocking 3 times so go straight back to purées it’s got to the point where I feel like I have no clue what I’m doing I don’t know what to give him how to give it him and I have nobody to help that’s why I’m turning to you guys any help and advice would be really appreciated x

Which school would you choose?

First school is a good school, small school, within a 14 min walk, no bus, people are not your kind of people.

Second school is a good school, huge school, within 18 min walk, 9 min by bus, people are more your kind of people.

Weaning at 4 months. Water?

I’m giving my baby small baby spoons of baby rice and single vegetable purees at 4 months.
Should I be offering him small sips of water? Advice online is very varied.

Struggling to remain calm

I find myself losing the plot so quickly atm. I have a 2 year old who is testing the boundaries and I am fully failing at remaining calm. I’m shouting all the time. I am exhausted. I work full time while studying for a doctorate programme. My husband and I work opposite shifts to help keep childcare costs down. We live an hour from any family. We don’t have siblings and very limited other family. My mum is the only one who helps but I can’t ask her to visit all the time.

I just need to help myself regulate and I can regulate her but I didn’t expect me to be like this. I’m normally such a calm person. But the pressures are huge atm

I can’t drop to part time work as it’s part of the course and the course is 3 years. There’s no time to catch my breath.

Any help on how to stop myself from getting annoyed all the time??

I’m so sad I’m so useless 💔 x

I feel like I’m really grieving my old life atm too and I miss just not having responsibilities atm 😭 I feel awful saying it. Am I broken?

What would you do?

My father in law has booked a chalet for skiing with the family in January. It’s only for 6 days, take away 2 of those for travelling.
4 days of skiing but we will have a nearly 3yo and a 6 month old, so will be limited depending on family willing to help with childcare.

We missed this last trip due to my toddler being 7 months and he was an extremely tricky baby, my husband was devastated.

I promised we’d do the next one but I really can’t justify it, it’s going to cost 2-3k as my only alternative is to find another chalet to extend our time out there. I can’t justify two full days of travelling with two little ones for such a small amount of time there.

I’ve never been skiing either, his whole family are experienced. We’d be out there with his 3x sisters, only one has kids.

I don’t want my toddler to miss out on these opportunities, I really don’t! But it’s filling me with anxiety already. They want to get it all booked!