Single mum

So my fiancee likes to say I act like a single mum…like it’s my doing??
He says it’s because I just get on with things opposed to asking for help
For example
He was standing by the door I was taking the laundry and I opened the door whilst holding the laundry basket still and he goes “why didn’t you ask me”
But if you wanted to you would, I’m perfectly capable of opening it myself so it doesn’t even cross my mind

Now I will ask him for help with things I can’t do or don’t have time to do but he always takes forever

He wants me to tell him to do the dishes and stuff like that but why does a grown man need telling to do the dishes if there’s dishes to be done uno
His mum and friend have said the same thing but he still says he wants me to ask

I don’t exclude him from anything I do with the kids but most of the time he decides not to come
He won’t even watch them for a couple hours in the evening so I can get a job 🙄

Surely if he feels like I’m a single mum it’s on him not me?

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

If you weren't around he would do the things without being asked. He is capable of figuring it out alone. This includes meals, dishes, all chores really.

Don’t ask him to do it ask when he’s going to do something. “Hey do u know when you’ll be able to do the laundry” “when are you going to feed the baby” or just hand him the baby during other times don’t ever ask him to do the obvious

I REMEMBER BEING A SINGLE MARRIED MOTHER 👀👀 IF YA FRIENDS PEEP BOO IT'S AN ISSUE

I’m sorry but u can absolutely just leave when he gets home to find a job or get married he still won’t help u financially boom file family maintenance with a protective order when it hits half a year file for divorce

He wants you to ask him to do basic tasks because he wants you to shower him with praise him for being ever so helpful and tell him what a great job he’s doing and a reminder to be thankful that he’s helping YOU 🤦🏽‍♀️

Like you said, embarrassing that a grown ass man needs to be told what to be done at home as opposed to using his fucking eyes and not being a lazy shit. Ask him if he does this at work too? 🤦🏽‍♀️

Sorry accidentally deleted my comment. If he doesnt want to step up to allow you to get a job, some people would classify that as financial abuse to not allow you to earn an income. Do you have access to money?

in our community

Are playgrounds safe for a toddler?

My husband asked me to avoid our toddler playing outside this summer because he could get hurt.

I thought back to my 90s childhood and getting hurt (knee scrapes etc) was just part of being a kid.

Have we been gaslit into believe that playgrounds are safe for kids because we experienced it?

I’m torn, my son is so energetic and loves nature, outdoors and definitely bugs 🤮I really want him to continue to explore outdoors and freely for developmental purposes.

Neighbour complaining about our BBQ

We had a BBQ the other day and our elderly Neighbour came around the next day asking us to move the BBQ because she could smell it in her house during the night. I’m not quite sure how to address this as I feel like it’s our own garden and we aren’t doing anything nefarious. Where the BBQ is now is against the fence next to her house, and is the ideal placement in our garden, to move it would require a reshuffle of the entire garden, and honestly I don’t know if it would make much difference if the wind was blowing in her direction anyway. The garden is pretty small, and would only gain a 2-4 meters away from the fence if we moved it.

The next weekend we had another BBQ so I went across and warned her that we were cooking outside, and if the smell bugs her she’s welcome to close her windows when we cook (meant as a nice forewarning gesture, but also advising we aren’t moving the BBQ).

What would you do in this situation?

Potty training early using elimination communication

Has anyone started potty training at around 8 months? We’re thinking about starting just to get him used to associating wees and poos with the toilet and will teach him to sign for potty. How did it go for you and how did you know to put them on for wees? Obviously we know he won’t be fully trained until much later

Have to be brutally honest

I love my kids. (4 & 19 months)
But I've come to realise I actually don't enjoy parenting 80% of the time. I don't really enjoy playing with them for long. Entertaining them etc. I try my best but I also have realised, we surely arent meant to be Entertaining them 24/7!?!?

Our job as their Mum is to care, comfort and to protect them. To ensure their needs are met. And I do all those things. On no sleep, day in, day out.
So no, I don't think i should feel bad about wanting time to myself or for not enjoying every second of the day with them. I'm posting this not for validation but more just to get it off my chest.

Parenting is HARD. And I'm sick of those who never admit it or sugar coat the reality.
Genuinely happy for those who love every moment and have children who sleep. But for those who don't, you're not alone and you're allowed to not enjoy it.

Weaning

Anyone who’s started weaning, how much is your little one actually eating? I started weaning last week (started with veg) but he literally has 1 or 2 spoonfuls and sometimes isn’t interested at all. I know they say food for fun under one but I’m worried as it’s barely anything he eats

I can't cope

I have two kids 8 months and 2 I can't cope with my 2 year old no amount of activities, garden time, 1 to 1 time , soft play , farm, park , nothing manages to calm him

The mess his causes in the house is in bearable , I'm at my wits end I'm going to explode

My mom moans ever time I ask her to have the kids ,
.there dad works long hours always home after bed time rarely gets a early finish

His other grandma is great and will babysit when she's not working and I feel really supported by her .

My child is driving me mad I feel so sad and anxious , over whelmed ever day I just don't knoe when things will get better , I just needed to rant.