Three year old knee pain, help a stressed mummy out 😩😩

My little boy turned three in may & since around march time every now and then different and random times of the day (majority night times) kept coming up to me saying “mummy my knee hurts” always seem to be the left one he would point too but as soon as he says it he goes running off jumping on things etc being the boy he is so I never thought much of it. But then one night he was so upset with it ( he was very tired so put it down to that) and then woke up during the night upset saying his knee so took him dr they sent me to hospital for bloods as it was concerning to them it’s the same knee nothing showed up. Then went back to the dr as one morning he was really upset with it and they have sent me for a scan this week on it. I was wondering if anyone has been in the same boat because I’m stressing myself out badly with the worst case or what could it be or what if somethings wrong he’s always on the go never sits still if that had to change it would be a huge struggle getting so upset
TIA XXXXX

in our community

Child Sexual abuse *trigger warning

So my one fucking fear came true! I feel sooo mad at myself and mad at the situation and gutted in general.
We had another family over to our house (we never host people but weve known them along time and they had visited us once on vacation and the boys played well in the pool).
My son is 4 and the boy is *update*15 turning 16 . I found out in 10 minutes that they were in a playroom together before i realized and his sister went downstairs to check on them. I have a camera outside the room and saw them come out adjusting their pants. It looked suspicious but ive been told i am paranoid about this stuff so kept it at theback of my mind. I noticed my son toucing his penis more that evening. I went to bed and couldnt stop thinking about it. Today we noticed him retract his penis and my husband said what you doing (not something he normally does) etc we asked a few questions and he said the boys name touched it and he licked the boys penis. I am dying inside!! I have feared this happening. Ive had conversations about no one touching your body and private parts etc but I knew he didnt fully grasp and also in a situation with a friend feels alot different 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ i donno what I want out of this post other than that I am beside myself. We’ve called the family and they are going to call back they were very sorry and shocked too. I am sooo mad I let this happen. I put my son in the hands of someone to take advantage in our own house 😩 now I am like this opens so many doors for future abuse and for him to even be an abuser without even fully grasping it. It feels fucking so gut wrenching. I am a fully time mom. My sons never been watched by a grandma, relative, daycare etc. ive been so ontop of things i thought and I still failed!! In 10 minutes 😩

Kissing baby

Ever since my son was born, myself and my partner have made it very clear to everyone that there’s absolutely no one who’s allowed to kiss him. Most people are really respectful of this but we have one family member who is continuously doing it, even when we’ve repeatedly asked them not to. It makes me incredibly anxious, especially as the last two times it’s happened, my baby has ended up with a sniffle (but of course I can’t know for sure if that’s just coincidence or not). We’ve asked nicely, we’ve reiterated our boundaries multiple times and we’ve even taken our baby away from the family member when it’s happened but every time we’re in their company it happens again. Any advice on how to handle this would be appreciated as apart from stop all contact, I don’t know what else to do but it isn’t helping my mindset at all

All I ask for is 5 mins to go to the washroom in peace

I don't want the door to be opened by my 3 yo asking where xyz dino or cars are
I don't want my baby crying because I left the room
I don't want the dog scratching at the door because I closed the door
I don't want my husband calling me on the phone because one of the kids is crying

Is it bad if I mostly stay at home?

I spend most of my time at home with my toddler because there is endless cleaning/cooking to do and I am genuinely drained with the mental load of running the household. I aim to go out every other day for a small picnic or at the very least a walk, but mostly on weekends for everyone to socialize since my partner is there to help and we are able to have family time. I do not have any external help so even if i am sick its just me having to push through. My husband does not understand. He often compares his work to mine and says I am lucky I get to be home. I think he does not realize how much I do. No child comes with a manual, so what are we doing?

Is it childish to want/expect birthday fuss?

So.. long story short, my birthday is coming up,
and I get annoyed that hubby doesnt make a fuss of anything anymore.. will say im a grown adult i shouldn't care... but i do? cz he doesnt care about these things, he didnt even get me a mothers day card from the kids this year, or plan anything, no gifts etc. said we will go out for mothers day the week after as the actual weekend was too busy (but we didnt).

and if i get a bit funny like i mentioned, "oh its good mothers day comes before fathers day and my birthday comes before yours so i know how much effort to make" a "truth in jest" comment, he responds with, I dont care though/ I dont care about gifts or things/ we can do absolutely nothing for my birthday or father's day, it doesnt bother me. and its childish that I want stuff.
but the truth is, I dont really want anything extravagant or expensive, its just a bit of fuss?! I cant even say what exactly it is, I just want to feel special i suppose? like just some thought or effort. heartfelt message in a card?

like he used to send me flowers to work, or plan a romantic dinner, buy presents etc before. but like literally nothing now. even the last few years he'd nip to the shop on the actual day or the day before to grab a card and flowers maybe.. which in the case of mothers day is crazy to me cz I have to go out and get flowers/cards etc from us and the kids for his mom (and mine, if we're seeing her the same weekend) in advance.

I will add, other than this, hes a fantastic dad and hubby. so the last few years ive shrugged it off. I think this year cz i didnt even get a mothers day card its felt worse. and hence im not expecting much for my birthday either...
Its just sad cz we used to make so much effort for special days, now I jjst make all that effort for the kids days, but it does hurt that once/twice a year u cant make any effort for me?
like what is this teaching our kids? my son thought it was a grandma day on the mothers day earlier this year!!

and as a result ive stopped making a fuss for him too, but again it just feels a bit sad.
we all know as mums how much we do on a daily basis and the mental load, like am I asking for too much? what would u do?

Max out ratio nursery

Would you send your child to a nursery that maxes out the ratio so for example if it’s in preschool room it’s 1:8. I know this is the legal ratio but that seams a bit chaotic to me or would you only send your child to a nursery that does less children per adult?