Daycare

First time mom of a baby boy ! I’m returning to work after 12 weeks soon and I am dreading having to put him in daycare . I have so many negative thoughts when it comes to having to leave him with strangers 😪 . The daycare seems very safe and the workers seem very kind but I’m still in my head. Any suggestions to ease my mind ?

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If you can hire a babysitter, preferably someone you know personally and trust. That way they can babysit from your home and focus only on your baby.

I used to work in a nursery, we absolutely adored the babies and completely understood how scary and hard it was for new mums to leave their little ones with us. Most of the girls that worked in there were mums too, so everything came natural to them. Please call if you are worried, if they have a system where they can send you photos, ask for them to send plenty just to settle your nerves!

Honestly, I don’t have much to say besides make sure you really trust and know the teachers in the classroom. Make sure they tell you everything. I had my son break his foot in the daycare I worked in (I worked in another classroom down the hall) in the morning and they NEVER told me. He was crying all day and told them that his foot hurt (he was 4) and they didn’t even think to tell me. We only found out that it was broken bc he couldn’t walk on it and went to urgent care to get an x-ray. The teacher said she “didn’t want to bother me because we were short staffed” (during Covid). I also was the lead teacher in the classroom where I was working and have had temp people come in to cover breaks&part of the day for my assistant teacher and I’ve had to tell off a couple of them for yelling at the kids when they were doing nothing wrong, grabbing them too hard, or about to hit them. ****

Do not take your child to daycare there has been abuse fom staff to hitting children etc. Do a dbs check and get someone to babysit or childmind your child

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I miss morning

I miss my mornings, I miss waking up making a cup of tea, sit in silence or watch something good. I didn't realize i missed it till, last week. My girl normally wakes up at 7am, i woke up at 7 expecting her to be up. She was not. So I decided to make tea. I was making tea and could not help,but to enjoy making the tea in silence and take my time. I normally do it in a hurry cause my girl needs me. I finish making the tea. I sit on the couch and I then realize how quite it is. I actually laugh and was surprised to have this time to myself. I then decided to watch a movie. Was so excited, only 10 minutes into the movie and my girl woke up. I was happy to see her, she then asked to play in the backyard, and i felt sad. After that just been feeling sad and mad in the morning. I miss not being asked questions, is what ur doing mommy? Play mommy? Book? Even if i tell her to play it will be for just 5 minutes that she'll play by herself. She will only leave me alone if am cleaning,but I don't want to clean the moment i wake up. I just want hour of morning silence. I feel selfish,but I can't help,but to miss. I love my girl,but I miss my mornings

In laws from hell

Hey, so I’ve been with my partner for 11 years and his family more or less have always disliked me. But now we have a baby I refuse to stand for the bs anymore as my baby won’t be put through that but I’m constantly being made out to be the bad guys it’s always me that’s in the wrong. My partner is amazing but he’s not always the best at getting his point across when it comes to them and they just talk over him in anyway. It always results in being the one to give in and I’m sick to death I don’t know what to do anymore to give you some examples of what I have to deal with. My mother in law called our neice “ a self absorbed little C” because she’s struggling adapting to having a little brother. She’s called our nephew “ a silly little twat” because he was “naughty” at school. The first time she met my daughter at a 1 week old!!!!! She took my baby off me took my chair and called her a little C because she wouldn’t keep her eyes open for a picture. Then called me miserable 🙈 the first time she met me when I was 14 she said it’s never going to work you may as well just be friends over 11 years later I’m still an issue. I’m told I hold a grudge and untill the last 8 months tops I’ve never said anything horrible/ never defended ourselves/ never said anything aparat from one thing which was about 4 years ago and it gets brought up everytime my partner has “words” with her🙈 if we see our friends that live near them we get moaned at and if we don’t we get moaned at. Every time weve visited in the last 4 years he’s lived me we get greeted with “ what the f are you doing here” oh and also maybe like 2 months ago we fell out with one of his sisters because she was slating and I mean she was being horrible about my boyfriend and because I defended him I was banished from her house. Oh and his other sister and brother in law blocked me and then decided to unblock me and now I’m in the wrong because I want nothing to do with them!!!!!!

What would you do?

(Sorry if these makes no sense, also this is just of the top of my head there is so much more)

Constantly feel like im parenting wrong

It's one of those days where I'm in a bit of a slump. Lately I've been extremely discouraged because people have been overtly observant and critical of my decision to be a SAHM. My child is happy and he isn't missing anything, but regardless, I'm starting to feel less confident in my decision.
I'm curious to know what the week looks like for you guys, realistically, if you dont mind sharing 😭 I know we're all learning on the job, so I'd like to know what's working for everyone and maybe try some new stuff out in our routine.

Does your partner actually listen when you go to share things with them? Especially when u are clearly happy/excited about it.

I always have to listen to his “Ted talks” about AI shit for hours everyday but anytime I go to share something new I want to do with the kids (a baby disco rave thing on our daughter 1st bday lol) and was told he doesn’t care about “that shit”, it’s like this for most stuff even with my health he acts like he knows more about my body than me or the doctors because ai and google (Eds, lupus,mcas, autism etc) I just never feel heard and when I try to bring up my feeling, its usually a combo of this conversation never happened, or it’s an immediate argument or “that’s your problem to deal with not mine” because my feelings got hurt and didn’t control it, which is hard when words make ur heart crack sometimes. More I write the more I feel like this man doesn’t even like me🫪

Anyone feeding their toddler Kimchi?

If you’re UK based, which cleanest brand lowest salt one have you found best?

Thanks

Mother in law at it again

So I have really terrible in laws, I’ve dealt with it for almost 14 years. We have 3 kids- 10,7, and 2. They’re never involved, like we have to beg them to want to be in our kids lives. And last night my father in law said they want to take the kids to the beach, under one condition. My 2 year old cannot come. They say she’s too young and just can’t “deal” with it. I didn’t respond because I don’t even know what to say. I know what I should say, but it would be starting a war. Any advice? My husband is also helpless. He’s so numb to them, and will not rock the boat.