A mate told me I’m a bad mum for not being a SAHM

Out for dinner with girls, usually 5 of us been same way since collage, my son has just turned two and i admited I couldn’t hack being a stay at home mum, I work three days a week, have two days with my son which i love having I’m not saying I want to work more, then obv weekend but then my husband is around for help, and I simply said I don’t think I could hack 5 days at home with my son, and praises them for how that can do it, as this age is tough! And dinner table went a little silent, all other 4 girls are stay at home mums, one said “the greatest mums put their whole hart into their kids, we just trying to do our best… oh not saying your not but some struggle it’s okay” but the way she said id was defo a dig. now I married for love, some of them married for money and some half & half id say but being the only one that works and the last to have a baby I feel like bit of a outsider now, and that was just nail in coffin. Non have reached out to me since, one of the girls is my twin sister and she told me there has been a new group chat made for one the other girls 40th’s when she asked why I wasnt invited she replied “she’s prob working or tired from having her son so though just best us mummy girls” I told my sister all due respect but that’s fine with me, they are her kinda people not really mine anymore, they all set sighs to be SAHM since high school and good for them for reaching that goal, where I wanted a career. I said maybe it’s time I found my own kinda people… but that’s 15 years of friendships and weekly dinners down drain because I’m ambitious and find toddler stage harder than expected 🤣 anyone ever had to start again friends wise if there thirties?

in our community

What have I done?

I have a 3 weeks old and I'm starting to really freak out. I love him and will do anything I need to make sure he's happy healthy and safe but I'm terrified I've made a mistake! I don't know how to be a mum. I dont like other peoples children. I dont want to loose my identity and I'm so scared of messing up because again I do love him. I'm not enjoying this and starting to feel like I've trapped myself in a prison. I just want to be happy and I want to enjoy my baby but I feel so scared and lost. Please tell me this is normal and it will pass?

Struggles with Partner

Hey, just looking for a bit of advice really as I don’t have many friends to talk to.

My partner and I have a 15 month old and 3 months pregnant with our second he opened a business around the time our son was born that requires a lot of his time and attention.

To cut a long story short, he rarely has our son alone, he only really spends time with him at night before he goes to bed/some time on the weekend, but I am expected to be fully responsible during those times. There are some weeks that he hasn’t even changed our son’s nappy once. If I ever have an appointment/social event I have to arrange childcare or plan around our son’s nursery hours.

He doesn’t do much in the house at all, but I’m fine with that as I don’t have set working hours due to helping with the business so I spend a lot of time at home.

The issue I have is that I am expected to care for the home, care for our son (who sleeps absolutely terribly), and help with the business daily. Whilst I have allowed him to focus solely on the business.

It feels like I am being stretched to do more, and he can be very hurtful with the way that he speaks to me. Sometimes I think I’d be better off doing it alone as honestly it feels that way sometimes now.

Just looking for some advice really or anyone who has been through something similar? 😞

Ice-cream for toddler

I was at the playground today and another mum was giving out ice-creams to the kids (Magnum style with chocolate and caramel). She asked if my son would like one and I explained that he's not really had things like that yet, but thanked her anyway. She seemed shocked and asked how old he is, when I said 20 months she was like "awww that's crazy"

It was really kind of her to offer him the ice-cream but it made me feel like she saw me as a cruel and mean mum when I didn't take it. My son does have things like muffins that I make, digestive biscuits, fruit yoghurts etc but I'm holding off on giving him really sugary treats for as long as possible as he doesn't know the difference yet.

What do you think?

I have a husband who is doing uber and don’t have time for us he won’t sleep at home and now have been saying he sleeps in the car, that don’t seem to be true. He sometimes come home to sleep and that’s afternoon or late in the morning…

Last two years or more we have no physical contact he won’t make the time. All he says is his paying for credit card interests which don’t seem to finish for 3 years now. He takes my toddler once a week to nursery and because his sleepy that becomes hard for him. Long story short I did find him cheating writing messages to someone aboard and god knows what else there is he has few phones with screen blackouts. His bank account statements don’t come home. Last week me and my daughter went to grandmas for 2 days and came home without telling him and I found a photo of a child 8 months in his purse photo section. I called him to the pub to speak he said it’s his uncles grandson (not an uncle a friend he says he does some work with him) I’ve never met this man. Apparently in turkey he and his uncle went to a health care office to get a health card for his grandson but because of parking problems the uncle couldn’t come out. Last one week I’ve been going crazy and I don’t believe him. It’s so shit that we can not find out if our husbands have any other child under his registration in uk or aboard. I am really sad and not sure in what to do now. I can only divorce

Helppp

I am SICK of family asking my 2 year old for a kiss or a hug. Shes suspected autistic so is only really affectionate towards my husband and I (and that is also very rare!)
I dont want people kissing my kids as it is but to try force her when she really doesnt like it!!
I have tried the "she isnt affectionate" but how else can I phrase it without offending anyone??
She really just loves her own company.

Should I explore this idea? 🤔

I’m a stay at home mum to a nearly 4 year old and I’ve noticed she learns best through hands on activities and she eats more and loves when we cook together. It’s inspired an idea I’d love honest feedback on.

✨Idea - A weekly country themed box for ages 3–5, with child friendly healthy recipes the whole family can eat, plus activities, crafts and learning through play. The aim is to take some of the mental load out of meal planning while creating fun family bonding moments whilsg introducing children to different cultures.

Would this be something that would interest you as a parent?