Back to work

I go back to work in just over a week and I am really struggling with it. I don’t like my job, and I don’t get along with the people in my department, they aren’t very nice, very judgemental and will make passive aggressive comments all day. I feel like I’m consistently having to defend my decisions. I have spoke to managers etc, but nothing gets done. Moving jobs isn’t an option right now either.

I was in bed crying last night about having to go back to work, and I know I’m going to get worse the closer it gets. Leaving my boy, who I’ve been with all day every day for a year.

How did you cope with the initial return? Any tips or suggestions would be appreciated

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

I have decided I’m taking a break after my maternity leave ends I am nowhere near ready to leave my boy

Avatar

I get the feeling. I was very anxious about going back. Spent about a week beforehand unable to sleep at night, thinking about it. Actually, it was kind of nice to get back to the 'old me' for part of the day. My workplace wasn't a nice environment to work in and my manager was very inflexible, so in the end, I quit. But the initial process of going back wasn't as bad as I thought in the end.

Avatar

Im in the same position and i handed in my notice. I have no idea what we're going to do because theres no way to pay the bills but it was depressing me so much, I couldn't even look for another job. The thought of going back literally made me want to die. And my son needs me to be strong and happy, which was never gonna happen going back.

My only suggest is: dont see it as permanent. Start looking for new work NOW so you can hand your notice in ASAP. Everytime someone is rude or gives you shit, you can just tell yourself 'it doesnt matter, these people dont matter, fuck them, I'm outta here soon'. Try and keep yourself separate from it. It's just work. You dont owe these people friendship and you certainly dont owe them your emotional investment. Go in, do the work, clock out. Stop defending your decisions - Someone giving you shit? Just calmly say 'it was down to me and it was my choice. I dont have to defend myself to you'. Or 'when it's up to you, do what you like. Until then, I'm not open to criticism'.

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

It’s not right that Mothers are mothers 24/7 & get ridiculed on not doing enough while men get to be a parent 3 hours a day or less & no one says anything.

Women and mothers are the caregiver, the chef, laundry attendant, house cleaner, always on mental alert, making appointments and plans, driving the kids where they need to go, buying food wipes diapers clothes shoes, the leader of the pack….i just feel we don’t get enough credit from the fathers. But the moment the mom needs a break or a breather, a shower, or mental silence , it’s an issue with them. We’re the crazy ones. I’m so done with men and wish I never gave my body to them

Avatar

1

17

My relationship with my husband

So about 3 weeks ago I started going to a celebrate recovery group once a week. My husband told me about it because he met one of the women who is a part of the leadership group while on a motorcycle ministry ride.before I decided to go he kept telling me I should go and he thinks it would really help me overcome some of my trauma. I went tonight and I was telling him about how it went and he asked me if Judy asked about him. That is the woman he met. And I told him yes she always asks about you and would love for you to come. And I always tell her he can't because of his work schedule and he just told me tonight he wouldn't go even if he could and I asked him if he would come to support me and he said no because he has nothing to talk about and doesn't want to hear other people talk about stuff like that. And then he tells me that he knows why Judy wants him to come and he isn't going to. Then I of course asked him well why does she want you to come? And he said that's between me and Judy. And I said well I am your wife and we're supposed to be open with one another and he said he won't tell me but he said let's just say me and Judy have a lot in common. Judy is an elderly woman and all I know about her so far is that she was abused as a child, had an alcohol and drug problem and her husband passed away about 6 years ago and she is grieving the loss. I know my husband doesn't have a drug or alcohol problem. So I don't know what he could mean like that. Am I wrong for wanting to know and feeling like I should know what he is talking about? Also am I wrong for being upset that he acknowledges he has some kind of issue that could be worked out at celebrate recovery and he refuses to go even if he could? And he told me all about it and wanted me to go super badly but he himself won't do it? He is so closed off emotionally and he wants to sit and tell me about all the problems I have and how this program would help me but he won't do it for himself? I don't know, it just seems very off for me. Am I wrong? Because there are some things that I don't talk to him about. And I believe I should have my privacy so maybe I'm being hypocritical or maybe I'm just being too critical of him.

Avatar

3

How to parent by natural consequences

The current situation: 4 year older brother has been out of pocket all day, making destructive and mean choices all day, not listening to me and throwing tantrums. Had my last straw when he traps and squishes my 1 year old under a blanket as I was washing the tub clean of cat hair since he pulled the cat in the tub with him when I was changing a diaper. I put him to bed asap and told him I’m closing his door and he freaks out and has a long screaming fit.

This happens like every hour every day, where I walk away from close supervising and all hell breaks loose because of my oldest. I promise I’m doing what I can for his needs, come read my other posts on my profile lol. This is a poll for natural consequence parenting. Cause it makes sense to remove him from whatever situation or remove whatever object he’s misusing. But some situations I just can’t? And the going to bed consequence isn’t enough, I shut his door cause I know he likes it open and my angle here is “you don’t listen to me so I’m not listening to you”. I told him that but he talked over me and kept screaming. I obv feel like the worst parent but I’m just at rock bottom. Didn’t stop screaming til his dad came in to tell him what for and then he was fine with the door closed. He’s sleeping now. We’ve had a fun day playing with friends and good food and visiting nanas and going on scooter rides and watching some of emperors new groove. I just don’t know what I’m missing and I feel so done.

Avatar

3

Am I too clingy or is my husband the problem

I’ve been married to my husband for almost 7 years, we’ve had some rough times with the loss of a baby after birth a couple of years ago and currently have a 2 year old. I can tell he definitely loves our son however he spends too much time on his phone and sometimes I feel he ignores him too. Whenever he gets home after work he will be on his phone and turn the TV on which I really don’t like. He never says I love you or gives compliments unless I say it first.. rarely he might hug me or kiss me without prompted but I’ve noticed most of the times he does it he wants sex. He says he believes he is in the spectrum, doesn’t see my eyes or face when I speak to him, I’ve told him about this bothering me multiple times and I just feel nothing changes. We’ve had multiple discussions, the last one was about how O wish he at least said if he liked something when I cook (we both work and usually I would cook and he does the dishes and helps with cleaning the house) I asked him to say if he likes something to which he said that I wouldn’t like him being honest with me because I would get mad at him telling me he doesn’t like my food. That really hurt my feelings because I considere my food tastes ok and have had multiple other people told me they liked it, the point is even when I asked him to say something positive he found a way to turn it into a negative. He then said he didn’t mean it, I just don’t understand, how can someone who says that loves you can’t find small ways to show you they love you without having to ask all the time.

Avatar

3

Nursery

How would you feel if the room leader of one of the rooms in nursery was a person who only finished their apprenticeship last year?

Avatar

3

Am I just overthinking?

So I told my husband a thing I want to do. I haven’t see anyone in my town or surrounding areas that I know of that does this side job. Making balloon arches and backdrops. He tells me to always try it or go do it, but like as soon as it comes to it it’s like it gets pushed off. I told him about maybe doing it at a fresh market, kinda give a mock up about what my “business” would be and maybe get people like that. I understand we have a lot of stuff happening but he tells me I should go to school for business…like I don’t think I need a business degree to do this job I wanna do. Yes it would be great to have the knowledge for it. I just feel like he just doesn’t want me to do it or tries to make it seems it’s impossible..am I overthinking??

Avatar

2

6

Read more on Peanut