My relationship with my husband

So about 3 weeks ago I started going to a celebrate recovery group once a week. My husband told me about it because he met one of the women who is a part of the leadership group while on a motorcycle ministry ride.before I decided to go he kept telling me I should go and he thinks it would really help me overcome some of my trauma. I went tonight and I was telling him about how it went and he asked me if Judy asked about him. That is the woman he met. And I told him yes she always asks about you and would love for you to come. And I always tell her he can't because of his work schedule and he just told me tonight he wouldn't go even if he could and I asked him if he would come to support me and he said no because he has nothing to talk about and doesn't want to hear other people talk about stuff like that. And then he tells me that he knows why Judy wants him to come and he isn't going to. Then I of course asked him well why does she want you to come? And he said that's between me and Judy. And I said well I am your wife and we're supposed to be open with one another and he said he won't tell me but he said let's just say me and Judy have a lot in common. Judy is an elderly woman and all I know about her so far is that she was abused as a child, had an alcohol and drug problem and her husband passed away about 6 years ago and she is grieving the loss. I know my husband doesn't have a drug or alcohol problem. So I don't know what he could mean like that. Am I wrong for wanting to know and feeling like I should know what he is talking about? Also am I wrong for being upset that he acknowledges he has some kind of issue that could be worked out at celebrate recovery and he refuses to go even if he could? And he told me all about it and wanted me to go super badly but he himself won't do it? He is so closed off emotionally and he wants to sit and tell me about all the problems I have and how this program would help me but he won't do it for himself? I don't know, it just seems very off for me. Am I wrong? Because there are some things that I don't talk to him about. And I believe I should have my privacy so maybe I'm being hypocritical or maybe I'm just being too critical of him.

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I absolutely do believe you should allow him this privacy, but honestly I don’t truly believe that’s what’s bothering you, idk you don’t seem that type. What I took from all this is Judy knows he needs support, you know he would get it there & even he knows he should be there, yet he’d rather push you to go instead taking the leap w/you, which I’m sure hurts. I’m sure it’s not lost on you how much good this sort of thing could have on y’all’s communication & closeness & I kinda feel like he’s afraid to take the risk of opening up to anyone & probably knows how easy it is to do in a group setting. My hubs is a disabled veteran who has some nightmares, although they’ve gotten better over the past nearly 14yrs we’ve been together, he actually gives me the credit for that, which baffles me, he also has thanked me for not asking about the service. I told him I know him, he’s big on open communication & feelings, he makes me strive to be better, I know he’ll share if/when he’s ready……

Honestly bravo for him pointing you in that direction. I feel like that alone is a step for him. My husband sounds a lot this way but he wouldn’t offer help for me, his mind is so closed off from it. But I can see that it hurts and it sucks, maybe he just wants to look strong and normal in your eyes if his past might change that—in his mind. I’m sure you’d not judge him for the things he’s been though. I’d give him space and not try to force him, yes I would love for you to understand but we can only choose what we do. We can’t choose what they do

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Roles in the home.

I’m due with our second child in a few weeks and we’re re-having the discussion on roles and who does what. Husband is convinced because I’m a sahm and he works that he is not obligated to do anything at home and I mean anything. He will refuse to help with newborn in anyway just as he did with our first. As well as chores around the house and anything you can think of. He truly believes he shouldn’t have to do a single thing in our home. What are your guys thoughts?

It’s not right that Mothers are mothers 24/7 & get ridiculed on not doing enough while men get to be a parent 3 hours a day or less & no one says anything.

Women and mothers are the caregiver, the chef, laundry attendant, house cleaner, always on mental alert, making appointments and plans, driving the kids where they need to go, buying food wipes diapers clothes shoes, the leader of the pack….i just feel we don’t get enough credit from the fathers. But the moment the mom needs a break or a breather, a shower, or mental silence , it’s an issue with them. We’re the crazy ones. I’m so done with men and wish I never gave my body to them

Am I too clingy or is my husband the problem

I’ve been married to my husband for almost 7 years, we’ve had some rough times with the loss of a baby after birth a couple of years ago and currently have a 2 year old. I can tell he definitely loves our son however he spends too much time on his phone and sometimes I feel he ignores him too. Whenever he gets home after work he will be on his phone and turn the TV on which I really don’t like. He never says I love you or gives compliments unless I say it first.. rarely he might hug me or kiss me without prompted but I’ve noticed most of the times he does it he wants sex. He says he believes he is in the spectrum, doesn’t see my eyes or face when I speak to him, I’ve told him about this bothering me multiple times and I just feel nothing changes. We’ve had multiple discussions, the last one was about how O wish he at least said if he liked something when I cook (we both work and usually I would cook and he does the dishes and helps with cleaning the house) I asked him to say if he likes something to which he said that I wouldn’t like him being honest with me because I would get mad at him telling me he doesn’t like my food. That really hurt my feelings because I considere my food tastes ok and have had multiple other people told me they liked it, the point is even when I asked him to say something positive he found a way to turn it into a negative. He then said he didn’t mean it, I just don’t understand, how can someone who says that loves you can’t find small ways to show you they love you without having to ask all the time.

How many meals are you all giving your baby?

My LO is nearly 8 months and to be honest I only started introducing a second meal recently. But when do we really have to start giving 3 meals a day? I’m stressed about all the meal prep so just need to brace myself for when the time comes!

My relationship with my husband

Hiding snacks/treats

Sooo would you consider it mean to hide the good treats from your kids?? So my 3 year old has plenty of healthy snacks and fresh fruit to enjoy, but I won't lie whenever i buy groceries I will buy cookies and ice cream and chips sometimes for me and hubs. And I don't want my kid to have these all the time. He gets these things on special occasions, but my hubs and I tend to crave them pretty often I hate to admit😭 But I usually don't offer them to my child. I hide them of course and only eat them when hes not around or sneak when hes not looking so it's not like I'm indulging right infront of his face lol. Is this mean that he never gets any treats with us, or what he doesn't know won't hurt him😭

My relationship with my husband

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Roles in the home.

It’s not right that Mothers are mothers 24/7 & get ridiculed on not doing enough while men get to be a parent 3 hours a day or less & no one says anything.

Am I too clingy or is my husband the problem

How many meals are you all giving your baby?

My relationship with my husband

Hiding snacks/treats