Has your husband ever mentioned divorce?
During arguments he will always tell me that we've got until X amount of time. Let's say Christmas, until he files for a divorce. He's even looked at divorce lawyers before now during an argument. 9 years later and we are still married, he's not mentioned it for about a year now because I gave him an ultimatum but I still think about it.
The words he said and how many times he's done it. I've lost count tbh. I've never done it, for context and my reply is always "okay" because he's done it that many times I know now he won't follow through with it.
Still it hurts, the mention of it.
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Splitting, divorce, etc. is never something to be thrown around in a healthy relationship. Not once have either of us ever thought of splitting up and we’ve had two really bad arguments that would break the average couple.
It’s just not an option when two people are equally serious and in love.
Those saying yes, should I just try to move past it cause tonight he mentioned trying for another child? As I said he hasn't mentioned it for over a year but there's a fear of him pulling the rug I guess. We already have a child together and I love our little family.
I am wondering if he is projecting some very unhealthy pattern he picked up as a kid onto your relationship with him. He needs to work on whatever that is.
Sounds like a manipulation tactic. Like saying something deliberately to hurt and scare you.
Nop. We dont mention divorce or separation ever.
No. That's actually super toxic because it's meant to make the other unsafe in the relationship. It's a way to have power in an argument. Totally valid you still think about it 1 year later because it's an awful feeling.
It sounds like he's traumatized you by doing that. And now he's trying to say more kids to swing the other way. But I would never have more kids with him until you discuss it enough that it no longer scares or hurts you. That was emotional abuse. Imagine how much it would hurt if he did it again now. Make sure he's committed to never doing it again before more kids
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