Thank you for listening to my vent cause Iām going crazy :)
So me and my boyfriend have been together 5 years. He came into my life when I was 8months pregnant with my first. He did more than stepped up. That baby is his in his eyes. Anyway years 2 and 3 together we went through infidelity from both sides. His was 3 years ago, mine was 2 years ago. We found out I was pregnant June 2024 had our second daughter in November 2024 and everything seemed perfect. Fast forward to now, a month ago (around Motherās Day) he starting acting weird, distant. He basically needed more time with his friends, he said he just didnāt want to be around me (he at first called it an ick but what he was explaining didnāt really scream ick to me) but he would have good and bad days. Come to find out heās dwelling on my past infidelity. He wasnāt ever too interested in going out a lot. The DAY before Motherās Day he goes out to a bar with said friends. Sure I was anxious cause weāve never even been in that setting together before and the only time heās gone is one time when we took a break but I had no issue with him hanging with his friends all I asked is that he be respectful and responsible. HE asked about a curfew, I said 1am since most bars close at 2. I went to bed that night he had texted at 1:30 saying he was gonna sit at his friends house to sober up. Needless to say he came home at 3:30 and just chose to pass out on the couch. The amount he drank wasnāt responsible of him knowing he said heād be home at 1. And the girls added on snap wasnāt respectful? I had woke up at 5 looking for him. I wasnāt mad he came home late, maybe alittle disappointed but not mad. But to not come to bed?? And then when I tried to make a joke of it in the morning he said āI didnāt know I needed a mom.ā That broke me, and on Motherās Day to hear that??? Anyway I didnāt think much of the bar night until that following Friday morning (he doesnāt work Friday so I wasnāt going to wake him) I had to use his phone to send myself gas money as he said heād fill up my tank. Dude had snaps from a girl timing 1am, I had never heard of her. And then there was another added on his snap as well. Youāve gotta think this is about 6 days after the bar night and there was no mention of them??? One ended up being someone heās known since 18 so although they spoke EVERYDAY now I didnāt think much of it. The other was just random. He asked if I wanted him to block her and I said no but he still did? Between the distance and the girls I had started to try to check his phone more and heād wake up to me doing it (not very proud moments of mine) but he definitely didnāt feel trusted. And then last week he was sick as a dog, I was caring for him out my ass. I wanted to set an alarm for his next medicine time but sometimes I donāt hear mine so I wanted one set on his too. Tell me why I go on his phone and heās changed the passcode??? Like thatās not something you think to mention? Now lately heās been wanting to go fishing with his friends at night. The first time was like 3pm-midnight. He came home asking if I thought we were doing better I said yes what do you think and he said I think itās about the same. He went into how he was feeling again and then said āif we ever break up, Iām not gonna kick you out. You and the kids can stay here we can come home to eachother and all that.ā In my mind Iām like whatās even the point of breaking up then?? The second time is tonight 5pm- he couldnāt tell me when (itās almost midnight now). Tonight he needed space due to an incident that happened this past Thursday where he was asking for a ābare titty picā while I was at work. First I sent a nude I had saved, he said no a titty pic, second I went out of my way, went to the restroom and took a pic of my boobs in my bra. Where he proceeded to say no bare titty pic. Iām like why does it matter. Where he says as a joke āI tell you what you send what I want or get packing.ā I replied with youāll just have to deal Iām at work right now. These next two lines are where I started taking it seriously: āItās the truth if you aināt gonna give me what I need or want. Thatās like you asking me to love you and I said with all my heart or just my finger tip.ā He left it at that and said he had to go. I texted saying āyou know what, I think me and the kids might stay in my car tonight.ā I took myself and my kids to the park to calm down. After calming down I finally was getting my mind right to just head back to the house but then an hour and some later he finally read my message and went off. Heās so angry that I ābrought the kids into itā and ātried to take them from him.ā And of course that I couldnāt take a joke. A joke he took too far. I explained that he brought the kids into the second he held the home over my head but he doesnāt see it like that. Heās apologized for taking it too far but heās infuriated about how I reacted. I tried explaining in that moment I was trying to protect the kids. But heās too mad about the kids ābeing brought into it.ā Whenever Iāve tried to talk about it he gets so angry and says to leave it alone or heās gonna get so mad heās just going to end things because me bringing the kids into it and as he sees it trying to take the kids from him is not something he sees as attractive. Iām talking he barely wants to be touched by me or anything. And obviously sex is out of the question. Tried to wake him up to a bj this morning and although he got hard he āwasnāt in the mood.ā Like overall last night I was chasing. Trying to communicate, trying to connect and heās mad and annoyed. And then I go quiet this morning and HE WANTS TO ACT LIKE WERE FINE??? And I couldnāt act like that so I had to bring up the kids convo again and he still got so mad that in the moment he said he ādidnāt know right now if he wanted to be with me.ā Iāve been giving him space since then but we did calmly talk some more before he left for the night and he said he meant it in the moment when I kept trying to talk about things but we were good now? But ever since he left to go fishing heās barely texted me, updated me or anything. Iāve gotten a lot of āokās though? Itās been 4 hours since Iāve heard from him so Iām guessing Iām not on his mind :) Also at what time does it become a red flag staying out past midnight when you have 2 kids and a girlfriend at home?
