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Baby Daddy Drama

Thank you for listening to my vent cause I’m going crazy :)

So me and my boyfriend have been together 5 years. He came into my life when I was 8months pregnant with my first. He did more than stepped up. That baby is his in his eyes. Anyway years 2 and 3 together we went through infidelity from both sides. His was 3 years ago, mine was 2 years ago. We found out I was pregnant June 2024 had our second daughter in November 2024 and everything seemed perfect. Fast forward to now, a month ago (around Mother’s Day) he starting acting weird, distant. He basically needed more time with his friends, he said he just didn’t want to be around me (he at first called it an ick but what he was explaining didn’t really scream ick to me) but he would have good and bad days. Come to find out he’s dwelling on my past infidelity. He wasn’t ever too interested in going out a lot. The DAY before Mother’s Day he goes out to a bar with said friends. Sure I was anxious cause we’ve never even been in that setting together before and the only time he’s gone is one time when we took a break but I had no issue with him hanging with his friends all I asked is that he be respectful and responsible. HE asked about a curfew, I said 1am since most bars close at 2. I went to bed that night he had texted at 1:30 saying he was gonna sit at his friends house to sober up. Needless to say he came home at 3:30 and just chose to pass out on the couch. The amount he drank wasn’t responsible of him knowing he said he’d be home at 1. And the girls added on snap wasn’t respectful? I had woke up at 5 looking for him. I wasn’t mad he came home late, maybe alittle disappointed but not mad. But to not come to bed?? And then when I tried to make a joke of it in the morning he said “I didn’t know I needed a mom.” That broke me, and on Mother’s Day to hear that??? Anyway I didn’t think much of the bar night until that following Friday morning (he doesn’t work Friday so I wasn’t going to wake him) I had to use his phone to send myself gas money as he said he’d fill up my tank. Dude had snaps from a girl timing 1am, I had never heard of her. And then there was another added on his snap as well. You’ve gotta think this is about 6 days after the bar night and there was no mention of them??? One ended up being someone he’s known since 18 so although they spoke EVERYDAY now I didn’t think much of it. The other was just random. He asked if I wanted him to block her and I said no but he still did? Between the distance and the girls I had started to try to check his phone more and he’d wake up to me doing it (not very proud moments of mine) but he definitely didn’t feel trusted. And then last week he was sick as a dog, I was caring for him out my ass. I wanted to set an alarm for his next medicine time but sometimes I don’t hear mine so I wanted one set on his too. Tell me why I go on his phone and he’s changed the passcode??? Like that’s not something you think to mention? Now lately he’s been wanting to go fishing with his friends at night. The first time was like 3pm-midnight. He came home asking if I thought we were doing better I said yes what do you think and he said I think it’s about the same. He went into how he was feeling again and then said ‘if we ever break up, I’m not gonna kick you out. You and the kids can stay here we can come home to eachother and all that.’ In my mind I’m like what’s even the point of breaking up then?? The second time is tonight 5pm- he couldn’t tell me when (it’s almost midnight now). Tonight he needed space due to an incident that happened this past Thursday where he was asking for a ‘bare titty pic’ while I was at work. First I sent a nude I had saved, he said no a titty pic, second I went out of my way, went to the restroom and took a pic of my boobs in my bra. Where he proceeded to say no bare titty pic. I’m like why does it matter. Where he says as a joke “I tell you what you send what I want or get packing.” I replied with you’ll just have to deal I’m at work right now. These next two lines are where I started taking it seriously: “It’s the truth if you ain’t gonna give me what I need or want. That’s like you asking me to love you and I said with all my heart or just my finger tip.” He left it at that and said he had to go. I texted saying “you know what, I think me and the kids might stay in my car tonight.” I took myself and my kids to the park to calm down. After calming down I finally was getting my mind right to just head back to the house but then an hour and some later he finally read my message and went off. He’s so angry that I ‘brought the kids into it’ and ‘tried to take them from him.’ And of course that I couldn’t take a joke. A joke he took too far. I explained that he brought the kids into the second he held the home over my head but he doesn’t see it like that. He’s apologized for taking it too far but he’s infuriated about how I reacted. I tried explaining in that moment I was trying to protect the kids. But he’s too mad about the kids ‘being brought into it.’ Whenever I’ve tried to talk about it he gets so angry and says to leave it alone or he’s gonna get so mad he’s just going to end things because me bringing the kids into it and as he sees it trying to take the kids from him is not something he sees as attractive. I’m talking he barely wants to be touched by me or anything. And obviously sex is out of the question. Tried to wake him up to a bj this morning and although he got hard he ‘wasn’t in the mood.’ Like overall last night I was chasing. Trying to communicate, trying to connect and he’s mad and annoyed. And then I go quiet this morning and HE WANTS TO ACT LIKE WERE FINE??? And I couldn’t act like that so I had to bring up the kids convo again and he still got so mad that in the moment he said he ‘didn’t know right now if he wanted to be with me.’ I’ve been giving him space since then but we did calmly talk some more before he left for the night and he said he meant it in the moment when I kept trying to talk about things but we were good now? But ever since he left to go fishing he’s barely texted me, updated me or anything. I’ve gotten a lot of ‘ok’s though? It’s been 4 hours since I’ve heard from him so I’m guessing I’m not on his mind :) Also at what time does it become a red flag staying out past midnight when you have 2 kids and a girlfriend at home?