Is this controlling?

I think it’s quite sweet that she considered his first father’s day and bought him some gifts - but then again, idk your mil, how she is and if it would be a way for her to try outshining you

But generally, it doesn’t sound like something she has done out of spite/controlling

I also don’t really think she has to tell you if she was doing anything for him either

No I find that odd. Did she anticipate you wouldn’t get him anything from your child??

The fact she didn’t contact you at all to even ask would not sit right with me. Almost as if it was done in a way to make whatever you did, appear to be pitiful in comparison. He is her son, not her husband! I bet she didn’t do all of that for her own husband, did she?!

Sounds like another one of those weirdo boy mums who think their sons are their substitute husband 🥴

It wasn’t her place to get him a card and gifts from your daughter.
Definitely a mother who’s struggling to let go

I do this for my friend as I know her daughter dad doesn’t bother for Mother’s Day so I find it a little odd but not controlling

That’s pretty weird in my opinion. A simple happy 1st Father’s Day card from her would be ok, but lots of gifts and a card from YOUR daughter is odd.

My mil did the same thing, “they’re gifts from your child”. My kid is 2 & wasn’t there to pick out the gift, I found it just weird. But I have to look at it in a different perspective, I’m glad they are thinking of my husband. For my first Mother’s Day they didn’t send me a text or card, I got backlash from her for not taking my family to see her for her first Mother’s Day as a grandma. I think your feelings are completely valid but she may not have ill intent, we just don’t know unless she’s said that for sure.
Here to listen if you need 💕

Honestly, like you could get bent out of shape about it and read it so many different ways, justifiably too lol i'd definitely be like wtf. But it just boils down to, she loves her son and wanted to spoil him.