Why is my last name the price of marriage?
I’m looking for some outside perspectives on a situation in my longterm relationship.
My partner and I have been together, on and off, for 12 years and have lived together for the past 7 years. We've talked about marriage, but we've reached a disagreement that neither of us seems willing to budge on.
He has told me that he doesn't want to get married unless I take his last name. The problem is that I want to keep my maiden name as part of my identity. I’m the last person in my family line with my last name, and it means a lot to me. My preference would be to hyphenate our names so I can honor both my family and our marriage.
He feels strongly that a married couple should share his last name, while I feel strongly about keeping mine in some form.
I'm curious how others would view this. Is it reasonable for him to make taking his last name a condition of marriage? Is it reasonable for me to want to keep my maiden name through hyphenation? Would this be a red flag to you, or just a difference in values that couples sometimes have to work through?
I'd appreciate honest opinions and experiences from people who have dealt with similar situations.
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