Child benefit

Hey ladies! Just looking for some advice as I get a bit confused… my partner is self employed and I currently don’t early anything (was on part time minimum wage before baby too)

when I gave birth (August) till first April of my babies life my partner was earning on or over 60K so we didn’t claim however after this last April he said he wasn’t near that so put in a claim.

I just always worry because his work fluctuates so much and one minute it feels like he isn’t earning over the threshold and the next he might be cause a big job comes in…

How on earth do you know throughout the year/years whether you should stop claiming in these situations? I won’t want to owe loads of money back all of a sudden

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I think if it goes over, you just pay whatever you need to back in the self assessment at end of year.
Does he pay into a pension or anything, because remember is £60k net income, so anything after paying tax, NI, pension contributions etc. x

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Please make sure if you are earning over then you apply anyway and tick the box which says you don’t need the money. This is because even if you don’t receive the credit, it still tops up your pension credits for retirement. If you don’t apply for it then you could have a shortfall if you aren’t working.

But if you do receive the money like Charlotte above said you can repay the money at the end of the self assessment year if necessary and also if you’re not sure can you put the money you are receiving into a savings account to keep it separate and ready to repay if you think that’s likely.

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HELPPP

my sex life consists of him saying “should we have sex now?”, then we kiss for maybe 30 secs before he wants me to give him head or ride him. that lasts 3 mins max and its over, i pretend to finish because at this point its almost awkward. we’ve been together 2 years but sex life changed so much after baby its not even funnyyy.

his drive is lower than mine too, so this is a couple mins every 3ish days when i would be every day if i could. so i look forward to nothing lol help

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5

Would you leave or keep trying to work it out?

LONG POST - I've been married for 2 years and 8 months (been together for 9.5 years) and we have a 9 month old daughter. We went through a real rough patch around Xmas 2024 (drinking, being emotionally unavailable for 4+ years and it came to a head) and I was about to leave but found out i was pregnant. After loads of talking, we decided to work on things and life was great ... while I was pregnant and the first few weeks of having our daughter. Now he has just got worse over time and I'm debating leaving. Trouble is I don't want to hurt him or our daughter. Here are some of the things he's done in the last 6 or so months:
- regularly home later than he said he will be (sometimes by hours) and is uncontactable in this time
- drinks at least 1 beer a day
- almost all parenting falls to me .
- almost all housework falls to me
- he can ge quite pushy with sex (even though i have PTSD)
- if i tell him to stop shouting, he will whisper and vice versa
- i said no sex without a condom, he said they make him go soft but he led on top of me and kept pushing anyway (wasn't successful)
- always says i have an attitude
- I was up with our daughter for 2hrs in the night so asked if he could do her breakfast so I could get some sleep ... he complained he doesnt get a lie in even though he sleeps through the night. I told him I could see she has wet the bed on the monitor so he needed to get her (wet patch the size of her) but he said he was going to the bathroom first (which usually takes upwards of 20 minutes) so I ended up getting up. In my mind, he was happy to leave her lying in her own urine and what turned out to be poop too.
- ive suggested counselling but he refuses
- if i pull him up on anything, he'll say 'sorry im such a shit dad/husband, I'll just fuck off then' and turn the whole thing into me protecting his feelings, leaving me unheard.
- he didnt get me a 'happy birthday mummy' card or a gift from our daughter but did try to pass a book off after i questioned. His other gift were a pair of shoes which he left on the side for 2 weeks and just gave the unopened amazon package to me


There's definitely more but this is off the top of my head ... I've tried so much to fix things so don't know if this is stuff others would just deal with or if they'd go?

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11

Sec

Whats a normal amount of times to have sex with your partner ?

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8

Next in line to have my waters broken!

Ahhh I’m so nervous currently sat here absolutely crapping myself 😂😩

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Child benefit

Hey ladies! Just looking for some advice as I get a bit confused… my partner is self employed and I currently don’t early anything (was on part time minimum wage before baby too)

when I gave birth (August) till first April of my babies life my partner was earning on or over 60K so we didn’t claim however after this last April he said he wasn’t near that so put in a claim.

I just always worry because his work fluctuates so much and one minute it feels like he isn’t earning over the threshold and the next he might be cause a big job comes in…

How on earth do you know throughout the year/years whether you should stop claiming in these situations? I won’t want to owe loads of money back all of a sudden

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6

I need help

I'm in a situation when my baby's father won't provide for her and will go on month hiatus of not speaking nor me or the baby, I tried going back and only have been met with infidelity and his mom will support his choices and won't hear me out anymore. I want to file for child support but need help finding someone who knows about the topic. I might file for full custody and at some point he threatened to take my baby before . I'm heartbroken on how to move on with this and im not going back anymore please help. 💔

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