My husband is a really great guy. All of my friends and family also think so.
However, some days I notice how good he is at lying and tricking- which is a "skill" he openly admitted to.
Today, he told our toddler "Finish your dinner, then you can have ice cream" (I strongly disapprove with the method but that's a different story).
Then after dinner, he denied him ice cream. He said he never promised him anything, he simply said he could. I find that super manipulative and when I talked to him in private, he just went round and round in circles saying that no promise was ever made.
That makes me think of how easy it would be for him to lie to me, without technically lying.
I trust him with my whole life and believe he never would, but this ice cream situation and the deception skills he showed really creeped me out.
I'm spiralling a little! Would you feel the same or am I blowing this up?
Have you ever dealt with a good liar and if so, do you have any tips?
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I would be pissed and concerned. Also kids are smart and lying to them is just going to backfire. I am sorry you’re going through this but his behavior says it all. What a shitty thing to do to a toddler.

That's messed up to tell a 4 year old they can have ice cream if they eat all of their tea and they deny them of it. Did that poor kid get the ice cream?

at some point thats going to back fire 😬 I would hate to think i was bringing up a child who may begin to think he/she cant trust his/her parents.
By allowing it your an enabler and your toddler will also see this at some point

I felt some kind of way when my husband cheated at Scrabble, so no I don't think you're blowing this up at all. He definitely manipulated that situation and it would make me side-eye him. The fact that he went back on his word and then tried to talk you in circles around it.. I overthink so this would make me question a lot of things.

Thats fucking awful.

It definitely breaks trust long term

I’d be more concerned about him doing that to a child than worrying about whether or not he’s lying to me or not. It says a lot about his character so sure it’s definitely possible, but being that mean to a kid is enough of a problem regardless of if I’ve caught him telling any lies to me or not.

I would feel the exact same way
Thank you all for the responses 😄
Follow-up then: would this grant an ultimatum to go to a couple's therapist / child therapist? Is there a more constructive way than an ultimatum? I really want to see the lying stop at least with our kid. But I'm not naive enough to think i can change a grown adult