Lustful husband

Advice welcomed please. I am approaching 9 years with my husband. We have two children together, who are both under 3 years old. I’ve dealt with him emotionally cheating twice, pre marriage and pre babies, and like a dummy I had forgiven him. When I would find out, he would tell me how terrible he felt and how he regretted everything and would work hard to gain my trust again. BTW I’ve constantly explained to him throughout our whole relationship that his lustful actions of watching corn and looking up instagram baddies felt disrespectful to me. After we got married and had kids, he convinced me that none of that was going to happen anymore and I believed him because he started to turn more to God and his phone was generally clean when I would check. Sometimes I seen he would slip up and look up big 🍑 latinas, but forgave him since he would show remorse. 2 days ago, I seen he searched “so cal swingers” on Reddit website where it showed many inappropriate pics and couples looking for another male in their relationship. Mind you, I’m not into that. His excuses for his past actions was that he was “young and dumb”, his excuse now is that it’s my fault because I don’t put up enough. We do it once a week, of course more would be great but our 2 kids are so clingy. We agreed we would just coparent now that the damages in our relationship seem irreversible. Are there any men out there that are not lustful at all?? Hearing other women’s experiences, all men are the same. If all men are the same I would just rather stick with the one I got or just be single. I’m afraid to contact family or friends about this because knowing the dummy I am, I would want to repair for the sake of my own family. As a stay at home mom, I don’t have any of my own income to get my own place. Not sure what to do.

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Porn addict. 👎 im sorry but it wont get better ❤️ he knows he can get away with it now

This is insanely disrespectful and immature behavior and the excuses he tries to give you are manipulative and illegitimate. Yes there’s men out there who appreciate women, respect boundaries, and aren’t uncontrollably “lustful.”

Start with an easy wfh job. Tell him you need a bit of money on the side and save up. You could maybe even find an income restricted apartment in the meantime while you wfh

Honestly I understand you I have been with my baby dad for 9 months and found out he was cheating before our baby I’m 19 weeks and I thought it was just online but turns out 3 days after my bf found out he had slept with his ex and the girl reached out to me while preg but didn’t believe bc he said she just wants to ruin our relationship bc she misses me and I felt like disgusted and like shit and not only was it when I was gone because my dad was dying in the hospital and he thought I wasn’t going back home so he cheated then I came home and he changed I thought but then I finally gave myself to him and he lusted over other girls on his phone for 2 months then I wanted to leave him but got pregnant and 2 days ago I broke it off with him because I don’t want my daughter going though that I know it’s not the same because it’s a ex bf not a husband but all men are the same expect the ones that are with God and fear him to even lust or cheat but stay strong and keep pushing forward

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it must be so stressful and I’ve been in a unfaithful relationship before, when trust is broken it’s so hard to gain it back, and it can really drive us into dark places of questioning our self worth and that’s never a good place.

Firstly, no, not all men are like that, and I would hate for anyone to say otherwise because every man is different! Secondly, you’ve dealt with this so well by sticking with him so good for you because I’m sure it’s not easy. It sounds to me like there’s more going on with your fella than he’s even aware. Sex can be an addiction, like genuinely thinking about sex all the time is an actual addiction and I’ve seen it before in a couple. I genuinely think it would be so helpful for you both to try either couples therapy or separate therapy sessions, but more so for your partner. I don’t think this has any reflection on what you’re bringing to your relationship, it sounds like he needs help with this x

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