Would this bother you?

My “best friend” and I have been friends for over 15 years and were bridesmaids at each others weddings, Godmothers for each others kids etc. However, I’ve been having a bit of a tough time over the last few years and I just feel like she hasn’t been there for me at all.

I don’t really talk about stuff lots as I don’t want to be really miserable to be around, bit shes fully aware of everything that’s been happening, and she sort of just dismisses it all. My 4 year old is very challenging and we think has ADHD, and he has some massive meltdowns. Twice I’ve messaged her saying we had to leave events as he had awful meltdowns and I ended up getting home and just crying, and all she commented both times was that the events we were at “sounded lovely”. On the day we had the health visitor round because we wanted to see if we could get some support, she texted and asked what I’d been up to and I mentioned that and she completely ignored it and just replied about something else I’d said. I’ve also had 6 miscarriages and during the last one last year I told her I was pregnant again and was so scared of the ultrasound I was having through the recurrent miscarriage clinic. She didn’t even text me again until a week after the scan, and even then never brought it up until I mentioned it to her.

The most recent thing that has sort of caused me to think about everything is last week my son had a surgical procedure under general anaesthetic. It wasn’t a big procedure but I told her how scared I was as it was really traumatic last time when he had general anaesthetic, and also the results of the tests he was having could indicate he needs major surgery. Again a week went by before she texted, and her text was all about other stuff with an “How did the appointment go?” thrown in at the end. I told her this time I felt upset that she hadn’t messaged and she just said “Definitely wasn’t deliberate. How did it go?” I haven’t yet replied.

I know everyone has busy lives, but I know I’d have messaged my best friend in less than a week if her child was having surgery or if she was having an ultrasound after 5 miscarriages, and it’s just made me really sad and think maybe it’s time to quietly end the friendship. However, I know I’m very sensitive and even more so at the moment, so I just wanted to get a bit of perspective from others. Is this something that would bother you or not?

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Yeah this would bother me too unfortunately. I know everyone has their own lives going on but these sound like really important things you’d hope your bestie would atleast reply or care. I’m really sorry u are struggling with all of this. Does she have children?

This is super selfish of her!! Does she have children? I get that it’s tricky to relate to everything when you don’t have kids but there’s also common decency and caring about someone you are supposed to love. I’d protect your own peace by gradually fading her out. Also I’m sorry to hear your son had to have surgery, it sounds beyond stressful ❤️

I would slowly drift apart from her, be mutual friends not close. Sadly this happens and it shouldn't. I feel so sorry for you, after all that time you think she be round to give you her time, I know life can get busy but a couple minutes of the day to check into people you love isn't much to ask. Sadly this happened to my husband with his friend, we had an emergency with my pregnancy and he heard nothing from him, when he did it wasn't how is everything it was another topic, it was hard as my husband stood by him during his darkest days and when my husband needed him he wasn't there. My husband is making a big effort to slowly let him go but is finding it difficult to fully let go. I sending your family loads of love 💕

Just another perspective does she ever tell you negative things in her life? Maybe she’s going through different problems and things and doesn’t know how to confide in you without seeming like she’s adding to your worries, keeping it mutual and just neutral might be how she copes at a time where she doesn’t have the capacity to be as supportive if she’s having her own problems, I do think a week is a little long for a reply but it sounds like that’s the usual for her

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formula - why did you use formula instead of breastfeeding?

looking to hear from mothers who DIDN'T breastfeed, please.

I should start by clarifying I have 0 judgment for either answer and am actually looking for some reassurance myself lol. I'm having a baby soon and honestly the more I learn about breastfeeding the more I don't want to do it. it just looks so constant and so exhausting and your partner can't help take the load at all unless you add pumping which is a whole other set of difficulties. I'm kind of tired of my body not belonging to me, I've had a hard enough pregnancy, and I'm just so scared of feeling chained to my baby as a food source instead of wanting to be with them and being able to bond. I also feel immensely guilty that I'm starting to feel this way, and like I almost need to go through the suffering of trying to breastfeed and physically not being able to in order to 'earn' the freedom of using formula.

Are there mothers out there who chose to formula feed not because they couldn't breastfeed but just because they didn't want to breastfeed? I feel like not wanting to isn't a good enough reason because 'breast is best' and I know all that but I just don't feel like I can face having to do it so often and at all hours without help. every mitigating idea I've had like formula as a base but with 2-3 breastfeeds a day everyone just says "oh that won't work it'll tank your supply and your baby won't get any breast milk at all." ok, I don't want to do it then! but I feel like an awful mother already...

really not looking for mothers judging each other in the comments please! I would really like to hear people's stories (and be set straight myself if I am being selfish) so please let them share.

I keep seeing people online saying that if a baby can mess around while breastfeeding it's time to stop

My baby does this rub across my chest with the front of her hand and the back of her hand and occasionally grabs my bottom lip. She's 3 months old...

Does anyone really know they’re done?

Anyone have a burning desire for another and not do it? Does it get better? Do you accept it? Do you regret it? It’s probably not going to happen for me for multiple reasons. My husband is 40 and doesn’t want more, don’t blame him (but I’m only 34). I’m 15 months postpartum and had two 15 months apart. My cycles are regular, but I have a luteal phase defect now, so unless I supplement progesterone, there’s no letting Jesus take the wheel and if it happens it happens. I feel like I’m grieving. I would love to have one more, but I don’t think it’s in the cards for me. How do I accept this?

Jealous of formula fed babies sleeping for hours

My breastfed baby wakes up every 1-2 hours still. It’s been very hard work and draining. Multiple times I’ve debated moving to formula because the sleep deprivation is brutal. Even harder when your friends babies are sleeping 6-10 hours on formula.

Need advice asap

Ok so over the weekend my twins turned 2. My Mother in law was there and for some reason ever since my daughter was born she’s so loud and obnoxious when she talks to her, so with that being said my daughter has never liked her or wanted her to hold her. I have heard my MIL say she has a pug nose before (which she does not) and I told my husband and he never had told his mom to stop. So this time when she was leaving she had the nerve to say by ug pug Referring to her as an ugly pug! I’m pissed and I told my Husband and I know he’s not going to check her. I don’t know what to do any advice?

8w jabs

Just horrific.. my girl is so so sad and won't stop crying 😭😭😭 i feel like im in a torture chamber