I just need to vent.

My friends son started getting aggressive around 13 if I remember correctly and his therapist helped him get a med to help him. My friend said that It helped a lot and he stopped hitting and kicking her. Have you tried that?

My partner works in group homes as a direct support professional for nonverbal autistic folks, he’s also been an in home provider as well.

Theres definitely more avenues to look into than just sending him off to group homes if that’s not something you wanted.

The last job my partner had before he went back to his current group home job, was an inhome provider where the family had an apartment build off their main house for their two twin boys.

Before that he worked for the company he’s at now that sets up the group homes, but worked with a different family that wanted in home care as well.

I’m a special education coordinator and have worked in a group home before. It does not always mean forever and it does not necessarily mean you have less time with your son. Your time together might just look different. You can visit him regularly and he can possibly come home for visits as he makes progress. Most neurotypical kids move out at 18 and rarely move back home. Your baby boy may be able to move back home with you in time and be able to stay with you for the rest of his years. Every story is different- trust in his.

I think sending him to a group home is so extreme. Using it as a preventative measure for your safety seems neglectful. I know you want what's best for him and you are just feeling like you don't know what else to do. It must be really hard. I want to say he needs new providers and a new approach 100%

I've definitely had this anxiety around my son. He's almost 13, has autism, ODD, depression, anxiety and ADHD. I personally believe he might have BPD, but he's too young to diagnose with a personality disorder. He's verbal, but very, very aggressive when he doesn't get his way or if he's in "a funk." It's frustrating because I feel like he should understand why his behavior is unacceptable, but he just doesn't get it. Hubs and I have talked about what we're going to do, especially since he's bigger than I am and has already tried to throw me down stairs twice (and I'm pregnant.) he spent most of June in an inpatient program because of that. there are no "right" answers -- just know that I understand your situation as best as an outsider can, and I'm praying for you. Feel free to message me.