Is this the end of the road?
It's been a tough 2 weeks for me and my little one. We battled potential constipation, poor nappy output, overly eager clamping latch, significant nipple damage (still not healed), cluster feeding that made my toes curl all whilst trying to keep on top of my other child and be there for my family. Support has been sought from the infant feeding team, a private lactation consultant and also used a crainial osteopathy. Fixed latch issues but the level and intensity of cluster feeding wasn't giving any space for healing. My mental health is poor and I'm suffering with anxiety as well as difficultly adjusting to a new life as a mom of 2, having a dog and a husband who does not manage any level of sleep deprivation well and is still working as he is self employed and that is our only income now. We also have renovation work going on in our house and everything feels chaotic. Yesterday I looked at my babies face and realized I've not even gotten to know her or enjoy her over the last 2 weeks as we have just been overcoming hurdle after hurdle with feeding. At that point I made the choice to switch to formula. It's given me some respite to do other things as baby slept more stretches yesterday but I've been pumping while I decide what to do next. I can happily pump regularly whilst at home but when going out to appointments that end up taking all day or considering going to see friends etc I feel overwhelmed. Also waking in the night and doing at power pump at 2am was exhausting as is all the sterilising in between pump sessions. I realised I haven't slept a longer than 3 hour stretch since my daughter was born. 2 weeks ago and before that I didn't sleep for 2 days having labour pains and struggled to sleep generally towards end of pregnancy. The heatwave also added a whole new layer of hell to our journey. I suppose I'm asking for kind words, reassurance and advice about how to proceed next? I plan to try pumping again today at 3 hourly intervals instead of 2. I'm going to feed my expressed milk through the day today and see how far I get with what I have. I'm also going to ask the health visitor to refer to perinatal mental health on Monday when she visits. Anything else I can do in my situation to save my sanity and my peace of mind in this motherhood journey?
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You are strong mama. My LG was struggling to be EBF so I ended up switching her to formula and even though I felt guilty as hell fed is fed, thats how I had to look at it for my mental health. We also and still do struggle with constipation as well as reflux and her getting congested on a regular basis. You are strong and doing absolutely amazing. I will say when I switched to Formula my girl started to sleep longer and we ended up with a routine for feeding which helped with me being able to sleep as she was sleeping. Here if you want to talk xxx
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