Need my ladies

Just here to vent somewhere, feeling isolated in this.

My husband and I got in an argument.
I’m conflict avoidant and usually choose the peaceful route, even if that means holding back from saying things I want to say and I’ll apologize for my role and make it clear I don’t want to argue, just address or resolve _____ .

He on the other hand is very immature - he fights to fight, he wants it to escalate and wants nothing to do with any apologizing or resolution or calm tone. He’ll say mean things, make threats and turn it into a toxic game instead of an adult disagreement. At that point I just retreat. You can’t get anywhere with that behavior. After a few hours he’ll just start teasing me or be randomly nice - never address what happened - and sweep it under the rug with playfulness.
But If I respond frustrated or upset and don’t go along with it, he becomes the victim. “I was just trying to be cool and you want to be all sad and have an issue so FUCK IT” “you want me to be the bad guy - I’ll be the bad guy” and I’ll desperately try to explain, nothing has been addressed and I’m upset right now or my feelings are hurt by what he said and he just railroads me with petty statements so I just ignore him until it fully blows over.

I am frustrated with the dynamic. I give him so much grace and set the bar way too low in the beginning that he now doesn’t see his lack and how he treats me. I do everything in the home - everything for the kids - and work from home as well. I go above and beyond trying to handle it all and he constantly sees me overwhelmed or needing help and the moment he’s off work, he plays games and does what he wants to do until bed. I don’t harass him about it because it gets me nowhere. I don’t act resentful, I just do what I need to do no matter how much I have to suffer because I’d rather have peace in the house then argue with a grown man who should know better.

I’m starting to think that for many women, even though we’ve progressed, many men are not equal to us in maturity and tenacity for handling the life we share. I don’t have the energy to fight, to blow up our family, to think on it too much…it just feels like women are very under appreciated as a whole, unseen often and trying to make sense of how we fell in love or developed a life with a person when more naive to these realities and now when in it deep - all we want is for some common decency, and they think they should get an award for doing one task sometimes and generally being nice and going to work.

Then if seeking advice, most people reduce an entire family life and situation to “just leave”. I don’t feel like that’s a solution either. I don’t want to leave, I want to figure out how to get him to see the reality of how his actions affect me and our kids even if it isn’t spoken to him. I want him to recognize human to human that more work should be shared…and it’s not right to take advantage of another persons tendency to handle all of the things. I want him to learn that we can have an argument or make mistakes and work with each other to fix it and voice frustrations and anger without saying hurtful things or escalating with threats.
It’s like dealing with a teenager when I need him to be the one person I can let go of the reigns with and trust he’s got it.

It’s exhausting

in our community

Why does everyone need to be told everything??!!!

Baby is 7 months old almost 8. My husband literally needs to be guided and told everything and it's turning me into a mega bitch. I have so much contempt and resentment. He has to be told baby needs a nappy change or to be fed etc. This is despite me drawing up a whole schedule with times and instructions. I am so sick of being a house manager to my family, sick of being awake all night breastfeeding. I feel used up and used out. I dislike being forced into this role because other people in my family have the luxury of forgetting.

If I forgot anything everything would shut down on top of baby brain, depression and extreme fatigue I have to find a way to function. Everything is a fight. I feel done.

Baby eating

Hey mommas please tell me in which month you guys start giving baby food and what is the first thing gives to them and is anyone trying to for there baby bone marrow of beef if yes please tell me the recipe

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I feel like I have to parent him as well as our kids. He is always bickering with our 3 year old so I have to intervene. He lacks common sense - like he can't understand why it's not okay to leave our toddler and baby unattended whilst he does whatever he needs to do. I do all the night feeds and wake ups yet he moans if I wake him up at 6 so I can catch up on some sleep. He said the other day I was expecting too much of him as a dad because I asked him to be more patient with our toddler who is struggling with the transition. Just so fed up with him feel like it'd be easier on my own sometimes

Is your partner helping with housework?

I feel like my partner leaves it all to me and it is overwhelming because instead of spending quality time with my baby I'm stuck indoors cleaning.
Idk how he expects us to manage when I go back to work because it is a full time job!

Have any of you left your husband as a SAHM?

I have a 17 month old and my husband is not much help. He is quite selfish. Rude to me. Brings me down. And honestly I find it easier when he is not around because I only have my child to think about and not the negative backlash of him. I have been using my savings over the last 17 months to still pay for bills etc. But that is now all nearly gone. If I leave him I won't have much money and we currently live in a different country to my family so I can't just go an stay with them.

Has anyone been in a similar position? If so how did you leave?

Airplane activity for 4/5 year old

Any ideas..activity packs,games etc
Its a 4 hour flight