Struggling with husband

I feel like I have to parent him as well as our kids. He is always bickering with our 3 year old so I have to intervene. He lacks common sense - like he can't understand why it's not okay to leave our toddler and baby unattended whilst he does whatever he needs to do. I do all the night feeds and wake ups yet he moans if I wake him up at 6 so I can catch up on some sleep. He said the other day I was expecting too much of him as a dad because I asked him to be more patient with our toddler who is struggling with the transition. Just so fed up with him feel like it'd be easier on my own sometimes

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Sometimes you’re better alone! Men lack understanding sometimes… message me if you want to talk 🫶🏻 hope you’re okay!

He moans at that! You need to have words with him. I understand the frustration with your older child because I’m actually getting really frustrated with my 3 year old (although sounds like different reasons) and my husband keeps telling me to be patient 😅 - easier said than done when I’m stuck with a naughty toddler an two babies alone 90% of the day - but fir him to moan about helping and leave a toddler with a baby is insane ! I would not have that personally.
I Feel for you!

I think I’d of completely lost it if my husband didn’t help 😅 my husband only ‘home’ and sble to help from 1pm-5pm and in that time he makes us all dinner , feeds the twins alone, making us all tea and cleans upakes sure to play with our 3 year old as much as he can with two babies all while I go for a nice long shower and lie down . I literally do bare minimum for those 4 hours because that’s his way of helping me recharge for the next 20 hours alone

That sounds so hard 😔 You’re not asking for too much at all, I have a 3 year old from a previous relationship and now a 3 week old.

My partner cooks every meal for me and my toddler, puts him to bed, gets up with both my toddler and our baby in the night (sometimes I don’t even wake up), sits up with me during every night feed because I BF, cleans the whole house including laundry, forces me to hand over the baby and looks after both toddler and baby whilst I can do some self care and runs his own business from home whilst doing all of this. I don’t ever have to even ask him to do any of this by the way, not even once! It’s his first time being a dad too.

I’m not boasting in the slightest, but I’m putting it in perspective for your partner, next time he says you’re asking too much of him I’d just remind him that he’s not even doing the bare minimum as a dad of 2. You definitely deserve better.

My mum went through similar and she said it was 10x easier on her own 😩

in our community

I just need to vent.

Im scared of my nonverbal autistic son. He has been having behavioral issues for awhile. He's hit me, grabbed my head and headbutted me a few occasions. Hes much bigger and stronger than me at 11 years old. This has been addressed with the appropriate therapists. However his therapists and school teachers have brought up their concerns multiple times in regards to when he hits puberty and his aggressive behavior increases. Theyre worried for my safety and ive been asked to look into seeing about part time group homes in case it gets to a point where I can no longer care for him on my own. Im just devastated. The entirety of his childhood ive had to grapple with the knowing that our lives will never be normal, ill never do the normal things that other moms get to do with their sons. But something kept me going.. and that something I was holding on to was that my baby boy will live with me forever. That was what got me through these dark days. Now I don't have that. Im lost on how to cope. My biggest comfort was knowing I have so much time. Now I have even less time than parents of nuerotypical kids. My heart hurts. And this time I'm not sure if it will ever stop.

Childcare cost

I'm due back to work in September. I have an okay job where I earn around £40k / year but with the cost of the childcare (even with the funding included), I will have nothing left at the end of the month. I'm planning to go back 4 days a week so my salary would reduce accordingly. I am in absolute shock as before I have saved around £600 / month. How can people even afford to live?? I am literally heartbroken..

Help with my 4 year old and a kid being mean to him please ! ( I know it’s long but please read I know no friends to ask for advice)

So my 4 year old is at nursery ( school / nursery ) so the reception class and his class mix together for alot of activities.

About 6 months ago my son started coming home talking about a little boy called James who was naughty , when I asked what he would do he’d just say stuff like “ draw on my work , he doesn’t listen , won’t sit on the carpet “ basic stuff.
It started to become a lot more frequent and then right before we was about to go on holiday in may he said he didn’t want to go to school because James was mean - I should’ve mentioned it to the school then but we was going away the next day and it completely slipped my mind as he wasn’t back in for a few weeks )
So we get back of holiday and when he comes home he’s upset , like crying upset about something James had done ( I can’t remember of the top of my head what it was now ) he also then told me how he’d taken some of his lunch and a drink cup that we thought had been lost at school he said James had took.
So the next day I took him to school ( it’s usually dad ) and I spoke to the teachers who said they’d keep a better eye on them now they know and try to keep them separated where they can ( we also got the cup back the next day so I imagine they spoke to James mum possibly )
My son come home yesterday and when his dad dropped him off he said he had to sign a form as James had pushed milo off a tunnel and he had a big bruise on the bottom center of his back.

What do I do here ? Do I just keep going to the school and ask them to keep a better eye again ? I understand they’re not the only children so I’m just a big stuck I don’t want to tell my son to push him away but is that the best thing ? I don’t want him thinking he just had to keep taking it on the chin when it’s really upsetting him
He’s so sensitive, it took us 3 months just to get him to be able to stay in nursery I used to have to drop him off anf go wait in the office as he’d made him self continuously sick crying for me. I don’t want to it to get to a stage he doesn’t want to go to school anymore

- also I know they’re 4 and James could just be super boystruss ? And that’s too much for my son I don’t know , and James mother isn’t there and he’s 4 so I don’t feel like going to her would do much help ethire ?

Advice

Advice

My partner works away most weeks all week.

We have two toddlers and my 3 year old has autism and is hardly sleeping. I am also pregnant.

He works 9-5 away and has every evening to himself goes for dinner with work friends etc.

He’s alway saying I do nothing and I’m useless and lazy. I do everything for my children even spend most nights awake. Take my boys to pre school and sort all his health care appointments.

He’s come in today saying the house is a mess even though it’s just a pile of washing and the other mess is all his work paperwork and clothes he dumps. I always used to sort it all out time and time again but he gets the hump and messes everything up.

He never spends anytime with the children one on one maybe driving the around but never anything in the house alone .

I was starting to clean the kitchen tonight after I made everyone dinner and he was like our LB needs a shower due to having his hair cut and I said why don’t you do it then and he starting kicking off saying I’m lazy he’s been at work all day. It’s the first time I think he’s ever showered them both.

Then he stormed off with them in the car.

I’m so heartbroken, this happens all the time.

I just feel so useless like I’m doing nothing which he also tells everyone.

He’s constantly walking out and blocking me after he’s caused an argument.

I haven’t had a day off in three years and I don’t know what to do
He’s just said I don’t get off my fat lazy arse while, is this normal? I’m pregnant with his third child

Can anyone with a toddler and baby share some tips?

I'm struggling with managing evenings. How do you manage dinner, bathing both children, bedtime, cleaning the house etc? Im just finding it overwhelming at the moment especially as partner works shifts.

Nursery

Does anyone else notice a difference/change in their little one after going to nursery? She seemed to lose her confidence when she started, she used to go off and not look back. We've recently been on a family holiday and her confidence by the end of the week was really high, we normally go to classes and she was going off etc. she's been back to nursery this week and she's gone back in her shell again. She always says no nursery and counts down and doesn't seem to want to go (however she's fine when she goes in). Has anyone experienced anything similar? I'm really concerned she isn't enjoying nursery and that it's affecting her more than we realise 😫