Would this bother you or am I being too sensitive?
My husband and I are both 27. Weāve been together for 10 years, have a 3 year old son, and Iām currently 30 weeks pregnant.
For years, Iāve told him that I really appreciate little check ins when weāre apart. I donāt mean constant messaging all day, and honestly it doesnāt bother me too much if heās just out for a few hours. Itās more when heās away for longer periods, like all day or overnight, that I find it difficult.
Whenever he goes out/away with friends/work, I usually donāt hear from him at all from the moment he leaves until heās back home. This has caused a lot of arguments over the years because Iāve explained so many times that a simple message saying, āhow are things?ā or āhowās our son?ā would mean a lot to me and make me feel thought about.
He has always said heād work on it, but nothing has really changed. More recently, heās told me that itās just something I need to accept because he gets caught up in the moment and struggles with what he calls object permanence. From what I understand, he means that when heās focused on what heās doing, people who arenāt physically there can slip from his mind.
Heās away overnight with friends tonight and I havenāt heard a peep from him since he left this morning.
What makes me question myself is that whenever Iām with friends and they get messages from their partners throughout the day, Iām genuinely shocked and, if Iām honest, a little envious. Again, not because I want constant communication, but because it seems so natural for them to check in and let each other know theyāre thinking of one another.
I want him to enjoy himself and have a good time with his friends, but I also want to feel like me and our family cross his mind while heās away.
Am I overreacting for feeling upset about this?