Having a 2nd child while 1st one has medical issues/delays.

Hey all. I have a 10 month old. I always wanted 2 kids and I’m trying to decide if we should start trying again soon. But my son has epilepsy and some pretty serious developmental delays coming up. He still can’t sit. Isn’t crawling. He may never walk, (or it could take 3-5 years). He will mostly be nonverbal. Chance he won’t be able to bathe himself, feed himself etc.

So does anyone else have children with high needs? Is it totally stupid to have another? Would I be putting us all in a worse position? Will the regret of not having another eat me alive? Would the mom guilt of having another eat me alive?

I am his full time caregiver now so I’m home full time. It was a totally random and insanely rare diagnosis (.0001%) so my 2nd child wouldn’t have it.

It feels like an impossible decision and I’m not even sure what needs to be considered in order to have another. I just don’t wanna wait too long cause im already 32 and it took us 5 years to conceive my son.

Any help appreciated.

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I have mom friend who’s first is nonverbal, can’t bathe himself etc. And she continued to have like 5+ more children. Everything turned out fine for them and she now speaks to other moms and people to inspire them. She’s a motivational speaker. I can send u her info if you’re interested. But I would say maybe wait a little bit more I mean it still is early.. you still have a baby. And just talk it over with your health care professionals and people that you trust.

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My son is non-verbal Autistic and has been since 18 months with global delays in most things. Mainly communication. He is 4 years old now. He will always have delays but may speak at some point the pediatricians best guess is around 7 years old.

He has a younger sister now who is verbal and seems to be ahead in everything. She is 18 months now and so ahead in her words. I'm glad I had her. She is going to be his support in life. Even if she is not always living with him. I'm also pregnant with a third and so far I don't regret having another. It is worth it.

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