Need to vent - parenting in public

There's this trendy coffee shop I've wanted to visit for ages, and my hb and I went this weekend. It's not a very kid/family friendly place (think bougie coffees with fancy toast and chia pudding where you're encouraged to dine in) so we had it all planned out that I would take our toddler in the stroller over to the outdoor seating while my husband ordered for us and brought the food out. We get there at 8:30 and the outdoor seating is empty, perfect! Then we couldn't figure out how to get in the fence and wondered if we could only enter the patio from inside the building. My husband goes in to ask while I stand on the sidewalk. The barista says there's a hidden gate on the other side. I try that and it's locked. While I'm deciding what to do my husband texts me from inside that our food is almost ready and he needs my help grabbing everything 😮‍💨 I pull the stroller back around and lug it up the stoop. We decided just to eat inside at a table near the door. While I'm wheeling the stroller around I get (no joke) 4 or 5 blank stares from people sitting at the nearby tables. The longer we took to get all our food and get settled the stares turned into glares. Also need to note our son hasn't made a peep this whole time. He's eaten in restaurants plenty of times too, nothing new to him. He's just looking around and taking it in. We ate as quickly as possible because we felt so unwelcome. We picked up what crumbs our kid dropped on the ground and wiped the table ourselves. I'm just disappointed that we tried to be conscientious and still got dirty looks.

in our community

I’m exhausted

So my husband told me tonight that I’ve changed and that he no longer feels desired by me because I don’t make comments towards him the way I used to and I don’t respond the same when he makes comments towards me and that makes me feel like a shitty fucking wife.

Because I do desire him and what he doesn’t seem to understand is that I’m all fucking touched out.

I had to watch my body change over 8 months. I stretched, I bled, I threw up. I had to stop doing things I loved, I was sick and exhausted all the time. Then I was drugged and had seven layers of flesh, muscle, nerves and organs cut open to have our son. Then I was stitched closed seven different times. I hurt, I couldn’t move like normal, I was exhausted and felt gross.

Lucas loves to be held. And I love to hold him. But fuck recently it feels like I’m doing the most. Which is fine, I’m his mom, but I can only be in so many places and pulled in so many directions at one time.

I get peed on. I get pooped on. I get spit up on and slept on and my hair pulled all while trying to hold and sooth and change my clothes and shower and be put together when I want to be anything but.

I keep track of where we’re going, what we’re doing, when the baby eats or sleeps, when his bottles get washed or the laundry was done or the snakes were fed. Even when my husband does have him, I get asked questions. Where’s this? Where’s that? Did you move this thing? And it’s always in the same spot if he just took the two seconds to look. I can never seem to have five minutes to myself.

I can make a bottle, hold the baby, let out the dog, and play a card game without even blinking. I can shower and rock his swing, and wash my hair all while my mind is blank.

It’s gotten to the point where I am hearing cries that aren’t there.

I cried for the first time since I had Lucas tonight. And it’s not his fault, that will never be something he understands. But sometimes I can’t tell when he’s joking versus when he’s serious and sometimes I just want to be held and told that shit is going to be okay and things will start to feel somewhat normal again.

I’m not resentful. At all. He’s great and when I was in the hospital and even just getting home, he was amazing. But my feelings were hurt. I feel like I’m not listened to, I’m not seen, and I’m just fucking exhausted.

Grandparents “hitting” your kid

So just for context, my kid is almost 1 years old. And yesterday she was more whiny towards the end of the day.
I figured she needed a diaper change and was just ready for bed.

I’m getting everything ready to get her to the bed a nice warm bottle , getting her clothes ready all these things and her grandmother makes a comment “I think it’s time for taps“ and she’s made this comment before and she was referencing to like spanking my child and I told her you’re not hitting my kid.

my mother watches my daughter during the day when I go to work and she had made the comment back to me that “I don’t watch kids that I can’t hit“ and I’m trying to figure out if I’m overreacting or if I just need to go ahead and find someone else to watch my kid because now I don’t trust her

How do you know when it’s time to start potty/toilet training?

My little boy is 22 months and understands the meaning of the potty now. He’s had a couple of wees on there but nothing more than that. He’s started to tell us when he’s having a poo but doesn’t tell us when he needs a wee.

Is this a sign to start? I don’t want to force it upon him. I was going to get a seat for the toilet with the ladder also but will this confuse him going from potty to toilet? I only wanted to put him on the potty for convenience when we’re out and about with the carry potty incase we aren’t near a toilet.

Any advice is perfect x

Am I wrong here?

Am I wrong for feeling annoyed at my husband asking what’s for dinner? do we have anything easy we can throw in the oven? after I’ve spent nearly an hour resettling the baby after she woke up 10 minutes after I put her to bed (it’s hot in her room and also she’s not well). Like, what have you been doing while I’ve been struggling my ass off with the baby? He’s making me feel like I’m overreacting for snapping at him and telling him to look for himself

What do you all do

What do you all do during the day when it’s just you and baby alone? I have a toddler who goes nursery so I’m struggling to think of what to do with baby girl. Any ideas?

Are Girls or Boys easier as toddlers?

I need to know! Please tell me your experiences!

What did you do to entertain your toddler?