Major toileting regression!! Please help 😭

My 4.5yr old boy is going to school this time and we mastered toilet training ages ago. Was dry during the day and night. We even ditched the pull ups all together. He was completely independent, even wiping his own bum.

Now he's just weeing and pooing as he pleases. I don't know what's changed. He's coming home with bags full of wet clothes. He won't tell me whats changed. He won't say anything about it. He won't even ask for the toilet. Just doing it in his pants. All the time.

It's breaking my heart every time he does it and not to mention it's highly embarrasing for us all, whenever we go anywhere he will wee or poo in his pants. Play centres, restaurants. You name it. Even school are getting fed up.

Has anyone experienced this and can they advise how to get back out of it?

in our community

Regret

I’m 23 years old, a mom to one amazing autistic little boy, and I’m still living with my mom and grandma. I work full-time, and I was able to get my own car last October. I know there are people who have it harder than I do, and I’m grateful for what I have. My circumstances aren’t the worst; they’re just not enough for the life I want to live.

I love my son with everything I have, but if I’m being honest, I don’t enjoy being a mother. That’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to admit because people automatically assume that means I don’t love my child, and that’s not true. I love him more than anything. His laugh is my favorite sound, and seeing him smile makes my whole day. He’s the cutest little boy, and I wouldn’t trade him for the world.

What I struggle with is everything that came with becoming a mom before I was ready.

I had to drop out of school because of pregnancy complications. I lost the life I had planned. I miss the freedom I had before. I miss being able to be selfish sometimes. I wasn’t financially, mentally, or physically prepared to become a parent. I wasn’t prepared to still be living at home or to be tied to someone I knew wasn’t right for me.

The hardest part is that I originally wanted to terminate my pregnancy. We even made an appointment. At the time, my car had broken down, I had lost my job because of renovations, and I knew I wasn’t ready. His dad had no car and no stable job. Looking back, I ignored a lot of red flags until it was too late. Then he told my mom I was pregnant while I was ignoring him, and I felt like the choice was taken away from me. I wasn’t ready to raise a child, and I definitely wasn’t ready to coparent with someone I resent.

Today, I still carry that resentment. My son’s dad watches him while I work because he works from home, and I’m grateful our son has a parent available during the day. But financially, I don’t feel supported. Last month he gave me $150, and it wasn’t even for our son. Sometimes it feels like money only comes up when he thinks it’ll make me want to get back together, and that’s never going to happen.

My family helps, especially my mom, and I’m thankful for her. But I hate feeling like I have to pay everyone else every time I need help with childcare. Sometimes I feel like I have friends, but no real friends. I feel alone more often than I’d like to admit.

I’m not happy, but I’m not exactly sad either. I’m just existing. Trying to make it through each day while hoping that one day I’ll feel like I’m actually living instead of just surviving.

More than anything, I wish my son could have the best version of me. I wish I could give him a mom who’s less stressed, less overwhelmed, and closer to the person she dreamed of becoming.

I’m still trying to find that version of myself. Not just for him, but for me too.

Disney films

Okay so I suddenly feel like a bad mum. I know I’m not.. but in this aspect.

So I’ve a 2.5 year old who has the TV on 24/7 - not literally, we go out daily and she also goes to nursery x4 a week but when home, it’s on.

It used to be a range of programs she’d watch, ms Rachel, tractor ted, waffle dog etc but recently peppa has been her comfort and her go to so she watches.

The ONLY Disney princess film she’s watched and likes is Moana. She’s watched a bit of Cinderella and to be honest think that’s it. No frozen, no mermaid etc.

Then I see all these videos online of their kids constantly wearing Disney princess dresses, how they’ll be sad when it stops etc etc. my daughter doesn’t even have any as she never watches 😭😭😭

Am I being a bad mum by not putting them on for her more??? Instead of peppa I might subscribe to Disney+ so I can chuck that on for her instead?

Thoughts please. What age did your daughter get into all the princesses? I feel this is maybe prime time??

Need to vent - parenting in public

There's this trendy coffee shop I've wanted to visit for ages, and my hb and I went this weekend. It's not a very kid/family friendly place (think bougie coffees with fancy toast and chia pudding where you're encouraged to dine in) so we had it all planned out that I would take our toddler in the stroller over to the outdoor seating while my husband ordered for us and brought the food out. We get there at 8:30 and the outdoor seating is empty, perfect! Then we couldn't figure out how to get in the fence and wondered if we could only enter the patio from inside the building. My husband goes in to ask while I stand on the sidewalk. The barista says there's a hidden gate on the other side. I try that and it's locked. While I'm deciding what to do my husband texts me from inside that our food is almost ready and he needs my help grabbing everything 😮‍💨 I pull the stroller back around and lug it up the stoop. We decided just to eat inside at a table near the door. While I'm wheeling the stroller around I get (no joke) 4 or 5 blank stares from people sitting at the nearby tables. The longer we took to get all our food and get settled the stares turned into glares. Also need to note our son hasn't made a peep this whole time. He's eaten in restaurants plenty of times too, nothing new to him. He's just looking around and taking it in. We ate as quickly as possible because we felt so unwelcome. We picked up what crumbs our kid dropped on the ground and wiped the table ourselves. I'm just disappointed that we tried to be conscientious and still got dirty looks.

am i being stubborn?

we’re expecting baby girl #2 soon and my husband doesn’t like my top name choice. he likes my second choice, so it’s looking like we’ll go with that. but i feel like that’s unfair lol. i LOVE my first choice and i feel like the second choice would be settling or a compromise, which makes it hard for my heart to feel fully in it. is it stubborn or childish of me to feel like we should go with my first choice, simply because it’s MINE? like, i’m carrying her (which wasn’t his decision lol, but still) and she’s getting your last name (which will be mine too once i get around to changing it, BUT STILL) am i being petty for feeling this way? i just want my first choice 😭

Do I have a bad kid?

I'm starting to wonder if my 3.5 year old is a bad kid. And if it's our fault. His dad and I have been separated since he was 1 so maybe it's inconsistent discipline. But he's extremely destructive. He does not respect authority at all. His only listens to me and my husband because we are tough on him and he knows we don't put up with the bad behavior. But with everyone else, even His dad, he is a terror. His first day of Vacation bible school was today and he got kicked out for not listening. And it's only a 3 hour program💀 Idk what to do. Idk if it's just a phase or if he truly has a problem. It sucks. I never thought I'd be the parent with the "bad kid". I'm at a loss.

Grandparents “hitting” your kid

So just for context, my kid is almost 1 years old. And yesterday she was more whiny towards the end of the day.
I figured she needed a diaper change and was just ready for bed.

I’m getting everything ready to get her to the bed a nice warm bottle , getting her clothes ready all these things and her grandmother makes a comment “I think it’s time for taps“ and she’s made this comment before and she was referencing to like spanking my child and I told her you’re not hitting my kid.

my mother watches my daughter during the day when I go to work and she had made the comment back to me that “I don’t watch kids that I can’t hit“ and I’m trying to figure out if I’m overreacting or if I just need to go ahead and find someone else to watch my kid because now I don’t trust her