Do I have a second baby?

My first and only child is 6 and I’ve been team one and done mainly because my husband is so I’ve just come to terms with it. But all I can think about for the last few months is wanting another baby.

I was talking to a coworker and she said that whilst she loves her second child immensely having a second completely changes everything. One is simple but two is not.

What are your guys honest, vulnerable opinions on having more children? My husband doesn’t want more mainly because I had PPD and we struggled through it.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

Your coworker is right, 2nd child changes everything, especially since you had 6 years of only one.
But I always knew I wanted another, even through my PPA, through the sleepless nights (still struggling 4yrs on), I still felt like I wanted another. However, after my second, I instantly knew that I was done. Every now and again I think about a third, but then I’m instantly like ‘no’.
I think if you’re having thoughts you need to discuss it with your husband

We have a 7 year age gap between my two. And honestly we thought we were one and done but so glad it didn’t work out that way. My husband was all set for the snip and then said go on let’s do it 😂 My little boy absolutely adores his little sister. He reads to her every single day and absolutely loves helping me with her 🥰
It was a bit rough with the transition between one and two especially with being 6 years of no night wake ups, nappies and strict routines but we wouldn’t change anything for the world.

Not quite there YET. We always knew we wanted 2U1 or 2U2. Our babies will be 13/14 months apart when our second is born.

As soon as I got pregnant this time - I mentally spiralled. Both pregnancies were planned and successful both within 3mos of trying. Still working through it. I know I wanted a second one, but I’m struggling with my nursing journey ending short, the three of us having little time together, having to leave her over night so young etc.

So I know after this one, I’ll be done. Plus, I absolutely hate being pregnant. Especially at 34. My daughter drained the life out of me, luckily this time im not working - but it seems so much harder already and I’m still in my first trimester.

in our community

Holding bottles

Anyone else’s 4 month old acting like they don’t need you anymore? 🤣🤣

This girl holds her bottle - not all the time but when she does I feel like asking her to go make me a coffee!

I swear she shouldn’t be doing this at this age? FTM here as you can tell 😜

6 weeks in. When does it feel easier?

My little girl has just turned 6 weeks and we've had a really difficult last week due to her growth spurt/ development leap. She refused to nap during the day including contact naps, doesnt settle in the pram so we can't go out anywhere, breastfeeds what feels like 24/7 and has spent just over a week constantly fussing. Today has been better, we've managed to get her to contact nap and she did her first 4 hour block of sleep last night which hopefully is her coming to the end of the super fussy period!

My question is, when does this feel like it becomes more manageable or like I dont have a baby attached to me literally 24/7? I dont mind the contact naps at all but I cant do anything or go out anywhere, I'm always stuck indoors trying to get her to nap. Will I ever get 5 minutes to have some kind of evening to myself without trying to soothe her to sleep?

😱😱😱😱🤔🤔🤔

Some people are not withholding an apology from you. They are incapable of giving you the apology you need.

We like to believe that if people could see the damage they caused, they would take responsibility for it and we spend time trying to show people what they did.

But what if the same brokenness, immaturity, pride, trauma, shame, or emotional dysfunction that caused the wound is the very thing preventing accountability?

An apology requires self-awareness. It requires humility. It requires the ability to sit with guilt without running from it or trying to be defensive.

It requires a person to say, “I was wrong,” without blaming their childhood, their stress, their intentions, the devil, or even you.

The truth is that many people don’t lack intelligence. They lack the emotional and spiritual capacity for accountability. They're underdeveloped!!

This is why some people pray, worship, serve in church, quote Scripture, and still cannot say, “I hurt you.”

Not because they don’t know God.

But because they have never learned how to face themselves.

One of the most painful realities in healing is realizing that some of the people you’re waiting on for closure are emotionally unequipped to provide it.

And if your healing depends on their apology, your healing is still in their hands. You're trapped in time.

Perhaps forgiveness is not agreeing with what happened. Perhaps forgiveness is accepting that some people are too wounded, too defended, too ashamed, or too committed to protecting their ego due to shame.

Do you believe people refuse to apologize because they are unwilling to take responsibility, or because they genuinely lack the emotional and spiritual capacity for accountability?

Some people are not withholding an apology from you. They are incapable of giving you the apology you need.

#psychology #forgiveness #masteringthenervoussyatem #selfhealers
#Repost from social media

Go with the flow?

My LO is 6 weeks on Saturday and I'm a FTM with no support system it's just me and my husband and he's incredible. Because we don't really have anyone around us we are pretty much guessing and going with the vibes or going down constant rabbit holes of research for every question we have about our baby.

So far when trying to follow the 'Rules' we see online of contact naps Vs bassinet naps, wake baby to feed Vs don't wake baby to feed etc it's all just so conflicting and we've found just going with our babies flow is working better than most advice we've seen on what we 'should be doing' but I'm nervous that that will only work while he's a new born and going with the flow might bite us in the bum as he grows as I imagine all the advice is out there for a reason.
For example we let him sleep when he wants right now but I keep seeing loads about reducing naps and limiting them to a set amount of time etc when babies reach certain ages and I'm nervous that I'm not setting him up for success.

Do you guys follow certain rules or do you go with the flow and does your babies natural instincts just work?

Heatwave

What can we do apart from just using the fan on the baby. My 3 month old feels so hot to touch and he just wants to be held. I am scared to give him a cold water bath as he already has cold. What can we do more. My room temp is at 28 deg already.

Development at 2 months

Hey everyone, I’m getting conflicting opinions about what development should be like at two months of age can someone please help me out?
1. Should babies be smiling back?
2. Should babies be looking towards the source of a sound?
3. Should babies be eye tracking left right up and down?

Thankyou!