Go with the flow?

My LO is 6 weeks on Saturday and I'm a FTM with no support system it's just me and my husband and he's incredible. Because we don't really have anyone around us we are pretty much guessing and going with the vibes or going down constant rabbit holes of research for every question we have about our baby.

So far when trying to follow the 'Rules' we see online of contact naps Vs bassinet naps, wake baby to feed Vs don't wake baby to feed etc it's all just so conflicting and we've found just going with our babies flow is working better than most advice we've seen on what we 'should be doing' but I'm nervous that that will only work while he's a new born and going with the flow might bite us in the bum as he grows as I imagine all the advice is out there for a reason.
For example we let him sleep when he wants right now but I keep seeing loads about reducing naps and limiting them to a set amount of time etc when babies reach certain ages and I'm nervous that I'm not setting him up for success.

Do you guys follow certain rules or do you go with the flow and does your babies natural instincts just work?

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My son is 10 months and we are a go with the flow household. They do get into a similar schedule on their own in a way. He doesnt nap at the same time every morning but I do know he will have a nap somewhere mid morning and another early afternoon

It doesnt restrict us going out we just either plan around it if he is showing signs of being sleepy or get him to sleep whilst we are out and push him around in his pram

There is a lot of advice online and I also found it very confusing to begin with but as soon as I stopped putting pressure on myself and on my baby to sleep a certain amount or force him to nap when he clearly wasnt ready too, everything chilled out and I became much calmer because of it

I think you should just do what feels the most right for you and your family

Yes i agree, i don't like the idea of saying 'right its 9.30 time to nap' if he is wide awake and peacefully playing. Motherhood is already so challenging, i think if there is a way can aid and minimise the stresses, then do it :)

We go with the flow, he’s 4 months now but I tried the whole schedule and it would only ever work for 2-3 days at a time, he tends to want to do it his own way! Sometimes it depends on the baby, some babies need more rigid schedules and some won’t follow them!
In regards to waking i had to wake him up to feed in the night to start off with but that was because he had a little jaundice and would have probably slept through the night in the first couple of weeks which is not good at that age, we stopped waking him around 6 weeks, but as long as your little one is gaining as expected and you’re getting the right output in nappies then you don’t need to.
I now wake him in the day if his naps go over 2.5 hours but that’s just a lesson learnt that if he goes longer than that he’s wakes up really upset.
You’re always going to feel like there is something else you should be doing, as long as you’re all happy and healthy you’re on the right path and try not to stress about it too much!

My little girl just turned one, she's settled herself into her own routine tbh but it wasn't until around 10/11 months. Before then we just went with the flow

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Some people are not withholding an apology from you. They are incapable of giving you the apology you need.

We like to believe that if people could see the damage they caused, they would take responsibility for it and we spend time trying to show people what they did.

But what if the same brokenness, immaturity, pride, trauma, shame, or emotional dysfunction that caused the wound is the very thing preventing accountability?

An apology requires self-awareness. It requires humility. It requires the ability to sit with guilt without running from it or trying to be defensive.

It requires a person to say, “I was wrong,” without blaming their childhood, their stress, their intentions, the devil, or even you.

The truth is that many people don’t lack intelligence. They lack the emotional and spiritual capacity for accountability. They're underdeveloped!!

This is why some people pray, worship, serve in church, quote Scripture, and still cannot say, “I hurt you.”

Not because they don’t know God.

But because they have never learned how to face themselves.

One of the most painful realities in healing is realizing that some of the people you’re waiting on for closure are emotionally unequipped to provide it.

And if your healing depends on their apology, your healing is still in their hands. You're trapped in time.

Perhaps forgiveness is not agreeing with what happened. Perhaps forgiveness is accepting that some people are too wounded, too defended, too ashamed, or too committed to protecting their ego due to shame.

Do you believe people refuse to apologize because they are unwilling to take responsibility, or because they genuinely lack the emotional and spiritual capacity for accountability?

Some people are not withholding an apology from you. They are incapable of giving you the apology you need.

#psychology #forgiveness #masteringthenervoussyatem #selfhealers
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