vent about fiancé

I just need to vent for a minute, and maybe see if anyone else has been through this.

Has anyone ever been with someone who is a good provider and financially responsible, but just… isn’t emotionally gentle?

I don’t mean perfect. I know everyone gets stressed and tired. I just mean someone who is impatient, rough around the edges, or doesn’t really know how to comfort you when you’re hurting.

Ever since having my baby, I’ve realized how much I crave kindness and softness in a partner. I don’t want gifts or grand gestures.. I just want to feel emotionally safe, like I can relax instead of constantly worrying about saying the wrong thing or making someone mad.

The hard part is that we just had a baby together. I don’t want my daughter to grow up with separated parents, but I also wonder if it’s realistic to hope someone will become more patient and gentle when I’ve been asking for over a year.

Has anyone been in a relationship like this? Did your partner actually change? If so, what helped? Or did you eventually realize they just weren’t capable of giving you what you needed?

Please be kind. I just feel really lost right now and would love to hear from people who’ve been through something similar. ❤️

in our community

Marriage problems

Does anyone else feel like they are married just not to not make their child come from a broken home ?
My Husband and I used to be amazing and have never had any issues between our selves at all other than ones caused by his family.
They are just the most toxic and entitled. They are chipping away so hard at my marriage to the point where I am
Holding for our baby.
I want to leave behind anything to do with this family and extended family of his and him. But we have a baby together.
Wtf do I do ?? I can’t take this anymore.
I have decided to cut all ties with every single family member of his and he’s fine with that but it’s just being here 100 miles from my own family and friends.
Just completely isolated

Is it normal for your husband/partner/other half to not know baby's routine because they aren't the primary carer?

Like when I go out he always asks me what time dinner should and/or bedtime should be. I get he is working most of the time but he does do dinner and bedtime routine three days a week and has done since our baby was born so I feel like he should know by now.

Protein yogurt

Okay so I accidentally bought my 9 month old a protein yoghurt (wasn't advertised as a protein yogurt) can he still eat it?
He can't have cows milk, hence the alpro.

Kissing babies

Im curious on the different opinions on who is aloud to kiss the baby. I dont come from a close family (physically we all live far apart) so it was never an issue for me but ive see lots of videos of people say in laws or grandparents would not respect the boundaries they were setting. And kissing the baby came up alot. So what do you think?

Potty training

My toddler is 32 months and we've been trying to potty train him for months. At his daycare, they have a potty room and they practice throughout the day. But when he moves up to the next room, he needs to be "fully potty trained." That can happen anytime between turning 3 and 3.5 years old. It depends on readiness and space in the room.

I bought a set of cloth pullups on Amazon, but they were way to thin. Plus he genuinely did not care that he was wet. Admittedly I got very discouraged and gave up quickly on cloth.

My mother in law (wonderful person) watches my boys every Thursday. Since she has hardwood floors she uses disposable.

We switched to disposables, and have been using them for months. He is good at going pee when we bring him to the potty, but he has no idea or urgency to go to the potty.

I also have a baby, and so I am struggling with balancing holding and playing with the baby and potty time and time with my toddler. We don't go to the potty a lot (several times a day, but not every hour), as I don't want it to be a fight (he normally goes there willingly for my mom, mother in law, and me. My husband can rush him at times, and then there's a fight).

I was desperate and slurged on a pack of the Upairy training pants. They are slightly more absorbent, but the Large (largest size) is skin tight on my toddler. It doesn't leave red marks on his skin, and the boy is pretty vocal regarding things being too tight, so I believe they are okay, but I don't think I'd buy more based on how snug they are on him. Today is day 1 of trying the cloth ones.

I keep reading that cloth pull ups are better, but I dont know. He genuinely did not care that he was wet and dirty twice now.

Are all the adds my social media is feeding me true, and I need to switch to cloth pullups?

Helpful tips on getting your partner on board for scrubbing poop out of cloth pull ups (or even carfully removing them from the toddler)?

We are using a reward system. He has a potty chart with 100s of sticker. He gets a small prize every ten times he goes. He likes earning stickers and prizes, but again he doesn't have the urgency to want to go potty.

I don't get it...

My son is 4 and it's like he goes out of his way to piss us off.

For example:
We were having a great evening. He ate 2 helpings of dinner, got changes for bed all my himself. Then it's time to feed our dog and he throws her food in the water bowl! He's been feeding her every night since he was 18 months. He knows which bowl is her food bowl and which is her water. Why does he do this?