Paying back childcare costs ? 😪

Husband has limited company and didnt do great last year, turns out his salary was 9000, ive been claiming 30 hours childcare, my salary is 40k but his salary would make us not eligible i believe, I expected him to earn more though dont know if that makes a difference.. does anybody know about this, im panicking im going to have to pay nursery fees back!!
Thanks xx

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I *think* you don’t have to pay back if you were within the threshold when originally claiming but at the point of reconfirming you’d need to let them know and at that point you probably be deemed ineligible x

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You need to call them and talk to them - they do answer the phone quite quickly. We didn’t have to pay it back.

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I don't get it...

My son is 4 and it's like he goes out of his way to piss us off.

For example:
We were having a great evening. He ate 2 helpings of dinner, got changes for bed all my himself. Then it's time to feed our dog and he throws her food in the water bowl! He's been feeding her every night since he was 18 months. He knows which bowl is her food bowl and which is her water. Why does he do this?

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15

Kissing babies

Im curious on the different opinions on who is aloud to kiss the baby. I dont come from a close family (physically we all live far apart) so it was never an issue for me but ive see lots of videos of people say in laws or grandparents would not respect the boundaries they were setting. And kissing the baby came up alot. So what do you think?

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17

Potty training

My toddler is 32 months and we've been trying to potty train him for months.  At his daycare, they have a potty room and they practice throughout the day.  But when he moves up to the next room, he needs to be "fully potty trained."  That can happen anytime between turning 3 and 3.5 years old.  It depends on readiness and space in the room.

I bought a set of cloth pullups on Amazon, but they were way to thin.  Plus he genuinely did not care that he was wet.  Admittedly I got very discouraged and gave up quickly on cloth.

My mother in law (wonderful person) watches my boys every Thursday.  Since she has hardwood floors she uses disposable.  

We switched to disposables, and have been using them for months.  He is good at going pee when we bring him to the potty, but he has no idea or urgency to go to the potty.

I also have a baby, and so I am struggling with balancing holding and playing with the baby and potty time and time with my toddler.  We don't go to the potty a lot (several times a day, but not every hour), as I don't want it to be a fight (he normally goes there willingly for my mom, mother in law, and me.  My husband can rush him at times, and then there's a fight).

I was desperate and slurged on a pack of the Upairy training pants.  They are slightly more absorbent, but the Large (largest size) is skin tight on my toddler.  It doesn't leave red marks on his skin, and the boy is pretty vocal regarding things being too tight, so I believe they are okay, but I don't think I'd buy more based on how snug they are on him.  Today is day 1 of trying the cloth ones.

I keep reading that cloth pull ups are better, but I dont know.  He genuinely did not care that he was wet and dirty twice now. 

Are all the adds my social media is feeding me true, and I need to switch to cloth pullups?

Helpful tips on getting your partner on board for scrubbing poop out of cloth pull ups (or even carfully removing them from the toddler)?

We are using a reward system. He has a potty chart with 100s of sticker. He gets a small prize every ten times he goes. He likes earning stickers and prizes, but again he doesn't have the urgency to want to go potty.

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13

Should I stop being friends?

I met one of my best friends about 5 years ago and I was pregnant with my first kid. She told me when we met that she had been trying for almost a year with no avail. Fast forward 2 years and I was pregnant with my second and she was still not pregnant. She told me at work one day that her SIL had stolen her girl name and named their daughter that. Her SIL told her that she couldn't have kids anyways so it was fair game (fucked I know). So then my friend told me another name that was special to her. It was very specific to her culture so I didnt even think to hold that name in my mind since I had never heard it before. Well fast forward another 2 years and I was pregnant with my third and she was still trying. My husband and I were stuck on the middle name the whole pregnancy. We got to the end of the pregnancy and I was in labor and my husband mentioned he had a cousin who was great and offered her name as a middle name, since I wanted a family name I accepted it because my middle name is awful and my other daughter already has my moms middle name and my MIL didnt want her middle name used. After I had my third, I sent my best friend a picture and her announced her full name. My friend then told me she was super happy for me and she doesnt want to ruin my moment but my new daughters middle name was the name she had wanted for her future kid. I apologized profusely and told her I hope she still uses it and that I never use my kids middle names. After about a week she deleted me off IG and stopped responding back. I wrote her and confronted her, asking if this was because of the name thing and that I didnt do it maliciously and it was a last moment decision. She told me that she needed her space and that she was very upset and knew she couldn't be a good friend right now. I was freshly postpartum and she was one of those friends that actually would come and see me and bring my kids presents and hang out. I cried for a good six weeks because I had lost my only friend that I talked to daily on the phone. My husband was super pissed and was calling her fake. He told me that the name we used was super common in their culture. He said its the Kate or Jessica of their country. I told him I think its more that we've had 3 kids and we could have picked anything but we picked her name she wanted. She was dealing with infertility and here we are popping out kids. He was like that's still not our fault and she can't control what people call their kids. Anyways he doesnt want me to be friends with her anymore because he doesnt trust her but he said he isn't going to say I cant do it, just that he doesnt want her around our kids anymore.
She ended up getting pregnant right when we stopped being friends and she just had her baby a few days ago. Her baby is very underweight and struggling. She has been calling me and asking questions and telling me things. Mind you, we are the only ones in a large friend group that are going to have kids. The remains friends known they dont want any. I was soo excited to have a mom friend. Anyways, I bought her some premie clothes and was going to bring them to her but my kids were freaking out nap time. Do you think I should just let the friendship die out?? Am I being a people pleaser? 😭

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8

Bored @ Home

Hey! So I am a FTM & SAHM and I am honestly so lost on what to do! My girl is 3mo today (07/14) and I am so unsure of how to handle this whole stay at home thing. Firstly, I feel like I’m doing the same things over and over and I want a bit more of variety. Secondly, I am getting major cabin fever and have no idea what to do. I want something kid friendly but my husband is afraid I’ll go somewhere and spend money🤦🏼‍♀️.

Any advice is appreciated. Thank you in advance!

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6

Montessori or Otherwise

I'm debating on having my twin boys attend Montessori School rather than traditional school. My sons will both be a bit young attending school since they're birth month is September so I felt them being in a school that goes by skill set rather than age would be more comfortable for them to not feel rushed to be at a par with their classmates but I have no personal experience with this school type.

I know I can wait to send them but I need to get back to work asap. I'm only a SAHM because daycare costs for twins basically canceled out my check and my husband doesn't make enough for me to do/buy much of anything.

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5

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