Any mothers want to be friends

30 and up

in our community

UC and savings

I have claimed UC, I have a shares ISA my dad set up, im paying a chunk of my mortgage off in the a few months but the UC will help with my childcare costs. I cant lay the mortgage right now because im locked into it until Nov. Will UC find out automatically, I have been told they its highly unlikely and im not talking 100s of thousands either.....but i cant go back to work without childcare support, feel like im in a sticky point, but ive worked since I was 15 always paid into the system, got crap mat pay both times and had to go to work early so I almost think stuff it I dont really care :/

Long drive alone...

I have my first drive alone with baby and jack russell soon. I am travelling 3/4 hours to visit family. I have anxiety about not having anyone in the back with my 15 week old to keep an eye on her. I plan to stop off every hour to stretch our legs etc.
I also have a mirror so I can see her but it moves about which is annoying.

Does anyone have any tips on how to make it easier for me and feel less worried?

Thank you

Long rant here....

Right this is going to be a bit of a rant but no one else seems to get how I'm feeling. Has anyone else found that since they've become a mum and on mat leave that they've essentially ceased to exist from peoples lives?

What I mean is that whenever I pop into my work I'm greeted with "how are you and baby doing?" "How are you coping?" "Text me if you need anything" "I'm round the corner if you need anything" "We should meet up and go for a coffee / walk etc" and yet as soon as I leave I feel like I'm basically forgotten.

If I don't message people first or try and organize stuff then I'm finding I never actually see anyone and it's starting to piss me off that it all seems to be from me and no one else making the effort. I understand people may not want to bother me with the baby but I haven't even had anything like "I hope you're okay" or "Just checking in" or whatever.

I don't have a huge social circle, mainly just one close friend but she's busy with work and life so I can't always see her. She also doesn't drive do has to cycle to me and sometimes I get the feeling she just doesn't want to cycle to my village so won't even suggest meeting up despite the fact I am drive to her and we can get coffee or go to town. I've even got a couple of people who live literally round the corner from me and it's like they never think to just text or ask to meet but whenever I see them they say "We should meet up and hang out" and I'm like TEXT ME THEN.

I've got a couple of people who I work with who have had babies (one 8month, one 5month) and I've met up with them once and they did the whole "text us if you need anything" but since then I've tried to organize to see them again and only been met with a short reply about 5 days after I messaged. Again I understand people are busy and they have their own kids to deal with but it just feels so hard to actually socialize right now.

I've tried a couple of local baby groups and no one was really talking to each other there, mainly focusing on their babies so just felt really awkward.

Sorry this has been long but I wasn't really sure where else to rant to 😅

The battle of type A / type B!!???

Me and my partner are constantly butting heads on how we live… and I’m intrigued….

Contraception

Anyone had the copper ( non hormonal) coil? I had an app to have my tubes tired, but as I’m only 34 and only one child she said it’s unlikely the panel of Drs will approve it 🙄 mad I have to ask a panel of Drs what to do with my own body who won’t even meet me but anyways, if they do say no my only option is the coil, as I said I catagoricaly do not want any extra or forces hourmons in my system. Messes me up, but all iv herd is horror stories about it

GIRL MATH???

So I don’t have much time left before my registry discounts expires and have up to $900 worth of savings… but would have to spend 5K to get all those savings. Do I go CRAZY shopping stocking up (smaller items with any bigger expenses) for things I’ll for sure need the next 2 years… technically it’ll be 5k worth of stuff for just over 4k… my husband thinks my logic is nuts 🤷‍♀️