Long rant here....
Right this is going to be a bit of a rant but no one else seems to get how I'm feeling. Has anyone else found that since they've become a mum and on mat leave that they've essentially ceased to exist from peoples lives?
What I mean is that whenever I pop into my work I'm greeted with "how are you and baby doing?" "How are you coping?" "Text me if you need anything" "I'm round the corner if you need anything" "We should meet up and go for a coffee / walk etc" and yet as soon as I leave I feel like I'm basically forgotten.
If I don't message people first or try and organize stuff then I'm finding I never actually see anyone and it's starting to piss me off that it all seems to be from me and no one else making the effort. I understand people may not want to bother me with the baby but I haven't even had anything like "I hope you're okay" or "Just checking in" or whatever.
I don't have a huge social circle, mainly just one close friend but she's busy with work and life so I can't always see her. She also doesn't drive do has to cycle to me and sometimes I get the feeling she just doesn't want to cycle to my village so won't even suggest meeting up despite the fact I am drive to her and we can get coffee or go to town. I've even got a couple of people who live literally round the corner from me and it's like they never think to just text or ask to meet but whenever I see them they say "We should meet up and hang out" and I'm like TEXT ME THEN.
I've got a couple of people who I work with who have had babies (one 8month, one 5month) and I've met up with them once and they did the whole "text us if you need anything" but since then I've tried to organize to see them again and only been met with a short reply about 5 days after I messaged. Again I understand people are busy and they have their own kids to deal with but it just feels so hard to actually socialize right now.
I've tried a couple of local baby groups and no one was really talking to each other there, mainly focusing on their babies so just felt really awkward.
Sorry this has been long but I wasn't really sure where else to rant to 😅
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I've found this too, before I went on maternity leave colleagues would say they're happy to help or to meet up whilst I'm on leave, but since I've gone on leave I've heard nothing. I really struggle messaging people first so I just don't end up seeing anyone outside of the family. I've gone to baby groups but found the same thing as well, the peri-natal mental health support group has been a bit better but I often find I'm barely spoken to by other mums there. Sending solitary hugs!
100% agree with you (I thought it was just me going through this)
I did this, I stopped being the one to message and no one messaged me. It's hard,so hard. I never thought motherhood would be this lonely.
Baby groups near me, everyone already seemed to know each other and weren't interested in speaking to anyone new.
I'm sorry you're going through this
Yep I find it’s the same for me. After the initial 1/2month new born stage, every one has just disappeared… mum groups are the same, they are cliquey and make plans with each other, not me…. So many people said come over with baby and yet when I asked when, silence. My manager and another colleague not even from my team have met up for baby dates, all three of us had babies at the same time, I haven’t been invited, other people from our team have even gone to meet them. When another colleague had a baby she was sent a whole hamper of stuff, me not even a congratulations. Guess I just don’t fit in or something….
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