FTM AND LOSING MY MIND

I feel like I’m losing my mind, and I honestly don’t know if it’s just the hormones or if something is actually wrong, so I’d really like some outside perspective.

I gave birth six weeks ago and had a very traumatic delivery. My daughter spent time in the NICU, and we ended up staying in the hospital for eight days. It was an incredibly stressful and emotional experience.

My family came all the way from another country to be here with me, and they’ll be staying for a month. Since giving birth, I’ve found myself becoming increasingly irritated with my mother-in-law. She comes over every single day, even if it’s only for an hour, and she constantly wants to hold the baby. She lets her fall asleep on her chest and says things like, “You’re mine.” Every day she wants to come over, and it’s starting to feel overwhelming.

Maybe she’s doing this because my family is staying with us, but I’m honestly exhausted by it. Everything she does seems to get under my skin. My parents are very respectful of both me and the baby. They give me space, support me, and let me take the lead as Porter’s mother. But when my mother-in-law is here, she always wants to take over and hold the baby.

What bothers me even more is that she seems to think I should be doing housework while she takes care of my baby. I also found out that she had considered coming over in the morning and taking the baby while I was sleeping so she could look after her. That made me incredibly angry.

I’ve been so stressed by all of this that my milk supply seems to have dropped over the last few days, and it breaks my heart that I’m dealing with this stress over my own baby.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? Am I overreacting, or are these feelings normal?

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I know exactly how you feel. I felt the same way when I had my now 9 month old. My partners parents kept coming in and taking our baby without even asking and I remember feeling really upset and stressed constantly when it would happen. If you have a supportive partner, I’d suggest asking him to control the situation. After she’s had as much time as you are happy with, ask to have the baby back or simply go over to her and say mummy wants you now. But as it’s your partners parents I know it becomes awkward, so ask your partner to take the baby back when you want him to. X

i definitely understand. I wish someone would take my daughter while i sleep but it's your hormones. I want help now that she is one month old but in the beginning, I just wanted my baby. Maybe try to establish boundaries with your mother-in-law. I had some issues with my mother, but we’re working through it.

Hi my love ❤️ I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time with your MIL, especially after everything you've been through. Your feelings are completely valid, and I don't think you're overreacting. These first few weeks are such a precious time for you and your baby to bond, and for you to establish breastfeeding if that's your goal. To help reduce some of the stress on you, I'd recommend speaking with your partner and asking them to set some boundaries with your MIL. You deserve the space to recover and enjoy this special time with your baby. ❤️

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