How would you react?
Bit of backstory - I have recently joined my husband abroad. Previously I was pretty much a single mum working full-time taking care of 2 kids while my husband and I were going through some stuff, but i was also caring for family. So we were living apart but I was making my own money, had my own car and although I had no time for anything other than work and homelife I had the choice to do what I want. Now we are a 1 car household, I'm home with the kids 24/7, where we live you need a car to get around. Our garden is big and we have a pool so its not too bad, but we have left the house less than a handful of times in 3 weeks (2 weeks consecutive, then we were away for a week then this week we've not left the house).
So after knowing the backstory how would you feel if at the beginning of the week you and hubby planned that today he would come home for lunch and you would take him back to work and have the car for the afternoon, only for him to come home and say he forgot and he needs the car? I had an appointment and I was planning to take the kids to the library to check it out and borrow some books and nip to the shop to get some workbooks and craft stuff for them. We were all ready to go when he got in.
It upset me and it pissed me off! And I guess it reminded me that I'm no longer as independent as I was before.
I'm also 8 days away from my period and I've noticed lately that from around 10 days before my period I'm a little more irritable and overall miserable so I'm wondering if I'm overreacting. How would you feel?
Am I Overreacting?
Context: I have been home all day today. Husband is a smoker and came home from work around 4:00pm. In the evenings, he steps out for a smoke and as it gets later, he steps out more frequently. Tonight, after stepping out the fire alarm went off. We are in an area very hazy from the wildfires and when he opens and closes the door frequently, the alarm blames. (Note: our 5 year old is sleeping). He disconnected the alarm. OK, for now..I asked him to reconnect it before going to bed. He said no thinking it'll keep going off. But it hasn't gone off all day, until the constant in and out. I said if I die in a fire, I'd haunt him.. apparently, we are now fighting. He said I'd smell the smoke and wake up..
Thoughts? Overreacting?
Context - So both my husband and I work full-time. I am the breadwinner and always have been. My role/career can be stressful and I recently switched to a new company 3 months ago. The pace and pressure at this company has been a massive adjustment. I am in meetings and high pressure situations quite literally the entire day - with little to no downtime.
My husband works in higher education and the pace during the summer is very slow.
Yesterday - my husband took the day off and went to the beach to relax. He came home tired because he had been drinking and was in the sun all day. He started to doze on the couch and I said “hey I need help with bedtime tonight” as we usually alternate and I had worked all day, managed dinner, daycare pickup, bath etc. He was groggy but read books and didn’t say anything.
Today - I left the house at 7:30AM and got home at 7:30PM. Back to back all day, I slept poorly last night and expressed how exhausted I was. I picked up dinner for us but otherwise my husband helped with daycare pickup and my son’s dinner because he got home from work at 3:30pm. I fell asleep on the couch after I got home while my son was watching a show.
Next thing I know my husband is turning on all the lights full blast saying that I should be doing bedtime and to wake up. And that I did that to him yesterday so - my turn. He did this in front of my son and I’m honestly just livid. Yes, I did ask him to wake up yesterday after he had the DAY OFF at the beach and I worked all day/managed the evening routine to that point.
I worked a 12 hour day today, said how tired I was and was already actually fully asleep. I am just so mad. I understand he thinks the two situations are equal but they simply aren’t. If he had worked all day yesterday and was falling asleep then I wouldn’t have asked him to help last night. But he didn’t - he went kayaking and lounged on the beach….
Am I overreacting? I just feel so disrespected.
