Sex and marriage
Sex and marriage
So when it comes to sex with my husband at the moment, I can’t say I have a strong urge to do it. Every time he is the one who initiates it I can’t say I don’t want to do it. It’s not like there’s anyone else I’m attracted to and it’s not like I’m not attracted to my husband, but I’m almost 20 weeks pregnant and we have a toddler.
I don’t know what it is. It’s not that I want to break up with my husband and it’s not that I’m not attracted to him. But I don’t know. I just don’t really have the urge that he does to have sex.
And I know that we’re married and it’s good to have sex and all that and whenever he initiates it, I do do it but I don’t know. I just don’t really feel like I’m up for it but I don’t know. But also I don’t really want to make him feel bad and say I’m not really dying for it. It’s not like the sex is bad.
I also know that sometimes my husband is a bit tone deaf to me.
Like I’m not really feeling that well and he’s asking or what time are we having dinner? Or he comes in and is asking what I have for dinner and I’m thinking how about asking me how I’m feeling instead.
Like I just feel like he just cares more about his pet cat and doesn’t really carry the mental load of having a toddler that I do or having a pregnant wife.
I just feel like he’s very much just focused on himself and his cat. It’s me who sort of constantly got the mental load of making sure our toddler isn’t doing something risky, watching her just keeping up to speed with like everything like appointments, health, activities what our toddler eats and wants etc.
and then yeah sometimes he just says some really annoying things like this week one day when I was telling him to watch our toddler and he walked away and I told him that he needs to watch her he told me to calm down
and then there was another time this week that I told him that something he’s done it’s just making more work for me and he said yeah, whatever.
And then there’s also another time when this week when I said to him I was telling him you know last night when you were telling me about dinner like that was the last thing on my mind I could barely stand I could barely function and then he didn’t even say anything and then I looked and I turned around and he was just like lying on the ground stroking his cat.
I’m just like I don’t know if those things contribute to it sometimes but yeah.
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Reading this it went from “I’m giving into sex because I don’t want him to start to feel unwanted” to “I feel dismissed and unheard and unwanted already myself”
Why would you feel the need to initiate intimacy with someone who is making you feel this way. I personally definitely think the two correlate. 🤷🏼♀️
I think you should tell him how you feel . Yeah him that you are baggy able to function and that you are overwhelmed and that you want to him to be more considerate v if how your feeling and that you want him to ask you how you're feeling.. Tell him that you are attracted to him but never if being pregnant and having a toddler and having hormones fluctuating that you aren't in the mood as much as him.
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