Advice

Me and my partner has recently had a baby. (11 wks)
I recently had the gut feeling to go through his phone. I downloaded his Snapchat and messenger data and seen he’s been chatting to about 15 other girls. Even going to the length of sending photos and calling them. I have obviously brought this up to him and we had a discussion about things and we want to move forward and try and make things better.
But for me, I am so angry that he’d stoop so low and do something like this in the weeks before and after his child was born. How do I get over this? I’m now constantly snapping and it’s leading us to bicker everyday and it’s not healthy on me him or the child.

Im recently finding out about more chats that have happened during that time and I just feel I’m finding out more and more everyday. I would just call it quits but I also feel I haven’t given it enough chance, how do I learn how to re-trust again or how do we build the trust again? Especially now my mother instincts are telling that me and his child aren’t his priority and that I need to prepare for life without him and just me and his child.
Please just give me some advice, am I being to harsh? How can I stop the intrusive thoughts?

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Your motherly instincts are not the only thing telling you that, he literally showed you it. While you in a vulnerable state and he should’ve probably been applying himself to supporting you and the new baby, he was doing this, consciously. He made the choice to disrespect your relationship in the most basic ways at a most vulnerable time. I would honestly have a sit down and “demand” request while standing your ground, that he tell you everything, no more finding it step by step and beating the dead horse. That’s never gonna help. And then well, see how you feel then.

That doesn’t sound great tbh. It’s a breach of trust hence your thoughts.
It takes a lot of time and effort to chat to 15 girls while you’re in need of his support. I’d ask him what’s missing for him and why he’s engaging them all but the answer might be in those chats. He’s unlikely to tell you the truth anyway.
I’m amazed that you managed to get all this data. He’s clearly an amateur in this. I wish I could do the same but his phone is very guarded which is far more worrying.
I feel sorry for you to be going through this crap having just had a baby

Honestly. I’d leave. It’s what I wish I would’ve done wit after I had my first.

Get couples therapy immediately. If he doesn’t want to or says sure and puts no effort into making it happen then you. Go to court and get a parenting plan in place then leave him.

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Preschooler asks if Disney princess (Elsa, Ariel,ect) are real. Are you ruining the fun and saying no? Or lying?

My 4 year old has been very into asking if things are real. We talk about how magic isn’t real and now she’s asking if Elsa is real. She loves Elsa and we have seen her at princess party things.

I ultimately asked her what she thought and she pieced together that since Elsa has magic, she isn’t real. I’m a little worried that I have taken the fun out of princesses. 😅

In a pickle…

MIL fell out with us since Mother’s Day (March 2026) because she said my LG is 6 months old and she’s still not had her on her own. She asked if we don’t trust her or something in which I replied not really because you haven’t show me the confidence you can look after her. (Bearing in mind, she comes once every 10 days and stays for an hour at most, never offers to change her nappy when she’s around and doesn’t give her bottle. Basically knows nothing about her. When she was 4 months she told me to lie her in the bath to let her splash). I haven’t spoken to her since March after she stormed out, but in the mean time my husband went to speak to her about what happened and cut a long story short she’s blaming me for everything and now has asked my husband to pick our LG to go her house without me. I’ve said to husband if she wants to come and see her she can come to ours, if she doesn’t agree then I will go with them to MIL house. What would you do in my shoes?

Partner Rant

Why do I feel so angry? He is a great dad but crap partner.
In my eyes he puts himself first and his needs, gym everyday 630am then goes straight to work. (which in the 2 years we have been together he has NEVER been to the gym). Today has gone for an all day tattoo session he works mon and fri 9-5 so weekends are what I class as family time. He won’t even offer to get up with the baby to give me a a lay in, I’ve mentioned it but every time I do it becomes an argument and we go back normal. He also has a child from previous relationship so we have him every other weekend and he is pre teen so doesn’t want to do anything so we get dictated by him on what we do on his weekends which my partner just allows. Along with the attitude and disagreements that I have to just grin and bear.

I feel like I have to beg for him to spend time with his baby and me. When he is home he is on his phone or moaning he tired ALL THE TIME.

I love him and I really want to make it work but at the same time I feel like I am being taken for granted in my own home.

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Me and my partner are moving in together next week and I’m excited but everything is always down to me… we both have a bad back problem but he refuses to do any work so I’m the one who’s looking for a job. Which means he stays home with our daughter but he always uses his back as an excuse not to help out or even take her to the park. He doesn’t really clean up after himself or even shower and I’m expected to do everything atp. He always gets moody if I ask him to take baby girl out while I tidy/ apply for jobs or have me time.