Emotional attachment?

Hello Ladies. Ive been married for a while and Ive been doing a lot of unlearning and healing. Ive come to realize that even if I have improved a lot one thing that I still struggle with is allowing my emotions to be attached to my husbands behaviour. I love love and to be loved and growing up i was always criticized bu my
Family. I never felt unloved but i never felt enough either. I thought that would all change with my husband. He has many great traits so its not all bad but ive come to notice his gaslighting and manipulation a lot over the years. Because he leaves me confused i guess it keeps me on a loop that makes me spiral. I do not plan to leave due to financial reasons and as long as I dont let his words or behaviour affect my emotions I am able to tolerate him. Infact we can even get along great. Therapy is too expensive. Not everyone has the luxury to splurge unfortunately. so i rather have anecdotes that worked for you that helped you NOT be attached to your spouse's behaviour.

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Only focus on what’s in your control. You can’t fix his behavior, but you can focus on your own life, your own goals, your own friendships and experience. You can find a very positive space there regardless of his negativity.

You're asking how to survive in an unhealthy dynamic and that has 0 to do with your emotional attachment. You're trying to make yourself respond to unfavorable behaviors unnaturally. There's always a way out. I left my last relationship with nothing at all to my name so I just can't empathize with this idea that you're stuck. You're comfortable while being miserable, but want advice on how to be less miserable when the issue is your husband and not you

This is also a poll without actually being a poll

Girl use social media. There are plenty of therapist professionals on youtube!

Decenter him. There is a lot of info out there specifically on how to do this :)

It sounds like codependency and self-erasure. There’s no cure to this. It’s all about having enough self-awareness to stop putting his wellbeing above your own, and breaking the cycle. For example, when you find yourself thinking I will be okay if he is okay. You step back and focus on something you can enjoy instead. You need to stop being responsible for other people’s feelings and behaviors.

I recommend reading “Stop Walking on Eggshells.”I also recommend free seminars or a group that’s recovering from codependency. Even better if the person running the seminar/group is someone who is trauma informed and a CBT specialist.

The other thing I want to make sure on. If you are staying in this relationship. Do you want your kids to see their mom doing all the work and think this is expected of all women? Here’s another question: would you be okay if your own child is in the same situation as you are now? Would you urge them to find something better?

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Big penis

Women who have had sex with a man with a big penis(like 8+ inches) what was your experience? Ive only been with my husband and hes pretty average (6.5). Is bigger really better?

Please tell me I’m not the only one 😩

Today has completely thrown us. My 11-week-old was awake for around 6 hours with hardly any proper nap, despite us trying everything to get her to sleep. She’d yawn, we’d try to settle her, but she just wouldn’t go off. To make it even harder, I think she needed a poo and was bunged up, so her sleep and hunger cues became really confusing.

Our health visitor wasn’t concerned, but I’m finding it so hard to know what to do when she seems exhausted but just won’t sleep.

Has anyone else’s baby had days like this? What worked for you? Did they eventually grow out of it?

I feel like we’ve got it all wrong today. It’s not the first time it’s happened either, so I’d really love to know we’re not alone ❤️

Struggling…

I’m really struggling at the moment. The cluster feeding is exhausting. The loud crying is heartbreaking and frustrating in equal measure. I lose my patience so quickly, especially doing the night feeds. My back is killing me. I feel so isolated and lonely even though I have a partner and family surrounding me. I could just cry constantly. We’re 5 weeks in and it just feels like it’s never going to get better. I love her so much I just wish it would be a little bit easier some days..

What time does your baby go to bed?

My babies 7 weeks and we just put him to bed when we go to bed which can be like 10-11. Unsure if I should be making an effort to do so earlier? He does basically contact nap on us the whole evening

Advice please- poorly toddler

My son randomly got unwell around 4:30pm tonight. We was out visiting family so I bought him home and he was sleepy. Tested his temperature when we got home and it was 39.1 and he was very sleepy.
He had 5ml calpol at 5:45 and the temperature was 39.1. At 6:30 it was 38.2 so I tried to give him some milk and he only drank 4oz, usually he’d finish the whole 8oz and fell back to sleep. I’ve put him in his cot with a fan oscillating just checked it again and his temp is 37.8 but he’s still very sleepy.
It’s usually his bedtime anyway but do I try waking him and see if he properly wakes up or do I leave him to sleep and see how he goes in the night?

He was shivering earlier which he’s never done with a high temperature before so I’m extra worried he’s going to be extra sleepy even though his temperatures came down I’m not quite sure what to do. Any advice will be appreciated please x

Please help

My husbands dad, every time we are with him he has my 2.9 year old daughter sitting his lap and he starts running his fingers across her legs and arms and opens her belly and rubs his fingers against her belly then says does that feel good? And I don’t know if this is normal but I feel like I could burst into tears watching it. It just doesn’t seem normal but maybe it is? Please let me know if I’m over reacting?