wtf do I do
I'm temporarily living with my MIL, partner and baby (6mo). I found in my underwear drawer sexy panties that. are. not. mine. Thinking it got mixed with my MIL's, I left it in her room. She gave it back, said it couldn't be hers.
Last weekend I had kind of a big fight with my partner, and he said he wasn't happy, and resented me a little. I went to my mom's house and stayed there 2 days. He unplugged the baby cam.
We talked, and decided we're both doing some changes so we're better as a couple. He's not very sexual, I suspect he's a bit depressed, and we've only had sex twice since baby was born.
I used to make jokes about him cheating (when he was glued to his phone texting I would said things like "Oh, tell your lover I said hi!" and stuff like that, and he laughed or act like annoyed I even thought something like that. I don't joke like that anymore, and haven't for a long time tho. When I told him it was a VERY strange situation, and said I couldn't imagine how did those panties ended up in my drawer he got weird. I DON'T KNOW, I feel I might be confusing intuition with anxiety, but he said I was just as suspicious as him, and when I told him how so? he said I could've brought them by mistake from my mom's house. Then I said it wasn't possible, and asked how would he react if underwear that wasn't his just APPEARED in his drawer, and he said "It has happened, and I wasn't dramatic about it". THAT'S BS. Now my stomach hurts and my chest hurts, and I can't stop spiraling over this.
I have never checked his phone, and neither has he. We trust each other, I know his password, and if I need to look something up I use his phone sometimes, and it isn't a big deal. If I check it and he finds out he will feel disrespected (if he went through my phone, even tho I have nothing to hide, I would feel so hurt).
But I fear if I don't check, I might never know if he cheated. He's a very good liar (although he hasn't lied to me, I think...) and he probably knows if I found out he cheated we are completely done. No second chances. So if I just ask him directly, I fear he might just lie and deny it. But if I check his phone and there's nothing I'm going to feel so guilty...
Please help. I'm going crazy.
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NOPE! Can’t do it if he’s a good liar he can’t be trusted with certain situations! If it’s not mother in laws or yours it’s a mistresses that’s it that’s all he’s only suspicious bcuz you are now and he thinks if he’s suspicious like you are you won’t suspect he did something I mean the evidence is there, he’s not happy and he resents you and he’s acting like you cheated to cover his own ass. Now it’s your turn to lie! Say you know who’s it is because you looked through his phone and saw who he was messaging and if he asks who then say you know who don’t play dumb it’ll get him to confess 🙌🏾
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