I suggested to my husband that he could maybe one night every couple of weekends he could get up with the kids. At the minute im up about 5 times a night with both kids so hardly getting any sleep. Im happy to do this during the week as he is working and im on Mat leave but i dont think its unreasonable for once in a while for me to have one nights sleep. Also I do all the cooking/cleaning/childcare.
He just said no, he has a physical job and his body needs rest. He said he'll end up ill if he doesnt get his sleep. Im just really tired and expected to do everything all the time because im on mat leave.
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Raising kids is supposed to be a partnership. It sounds like he wants the family without any of the responsibility that comes with it. What happens when you go back to work? Will he chip in then?

You also have a physical as well as emotional and mental job! Men they think because we are home with the kids we do nothing.
My 3rd is 6 months old next week and struggling so much this time with resentment. Its always up to us to look after everything and same as you I'm exhausted.

You have a physical and mentally taxing job. If you were both at work or he was single, he would need to do the cooking/cleaning. It’s not fair for you or your kids to be exhausted!

Men really, really don't get it! Yes, you are totally being reasonable, and if he doesn't show up for you the resentment will build. X

I would book a night at a hotel, don't tell him til you are leaving and leave him with the kids for the night while you have a relaxing evening and a good nights rest.
I would also strongly suggest that you either tell him this is what you need and it's non negotiable and/or that couples therapy is non-negotiable.
He sounds like a prick.

You’re asking him for BAREST of minimums, two fucking nights in one month for him to get up with his kids and he’s said no because he’ll end up ill with lack of sleep???
Nahhhh sorry mate, I would be gone. That is not a partner, that is a pathetic little boy.
I had a friend with a husband like this. She ran herself into the ground so much she ended up in intensive care for 3 weeks. Whilst she was in hospital, all he did was recruit his mum and sisters to take over. These type of “men” are useless without women. They want all the accolades of being a dad and family man - but without the actual hard work. He’s an ex-husband now btw.