Am I wrong for choosing my mum to be in the labour room instead of my husband?
I’m genuinely interested in hearing other people’s opinions because this has been made into such a big issue.
My husband was largely absent throughout my pregnancy. He did not attend my antenatal appointments or scans and only came to the hospital when I went into labour. My mum supported me throughout my pregnancy and was my birth partner.
When our daughter was born, we had already agreed on her first and last names. The only disagreement was over her middle name. I wanted to give her my mum’s name to honour everything she had done for me. He initially opposed it but could not explain why. It was only later that he admitted he was unhappy because my mum had been my birth partner. He only raised the issue after his parents saw photos from the birth and told him he should have been in the delivery room, despite choosing not to attend my appointments or support me throughout my pregnancy.
Throughout our relationship, he repeatedly hid debts from me, which I usually only discovered through letters, text messages, or calls from creditors after the situation had already escalated. There were also incidents of abusive behaviour, including him pushing me just weeks after I had undergone an emergency Caesarean section while I was still recovering.
Instead of supporting my recovery, his family expected me to travel to them with a newborn. The one time I visited, I felt undermined as a mother, and both my daughter and I were treated poorly. When I raised my concerns, my husband defended his family’s behaviour instead of addressing it or setting boundaries.
Since our daughter was born, I have been her primary caregiver and have taken responsibility for all of her practical and financial needs. Despite his limited involvement, he believes he should have the final say in decisions concerning her, with his family consistently reinforcing that view.
I’ve decided to end the marriage because of his lack of support during my pregnancy and after the birth, repeated financial dishonesty, abusive behaviour, and inability to set boundaries with his family.
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