Who is in the wrong?

I work half the week, then look after my 2 year old son for the rest. My partner works full-time and sometimes weekends. When we have his 12 year old son (half the time) I'll often look after him too. I've not really had any time away from my son since he was born, aside from a day I booked off work while he was at nursery a while ago.
Recently I've not had any time to myself, even at night I am the one putting my son back to sleep when he wakes because he'll cry for me.
Me, my partner and my son were sitting at the table the other day while my son was eating and my partner was watching YouTube videos with his headphones on. I told him that I feel lonely because I'm on my own with my son a lot of the time and then he isn't present when we are together.
Today I got my son ready for nursery as usual, went to work, collected my son from nursery, came home and a couple of minutes after I'd come through the door my partner told me he was going to the gym with my step-son. I told him that I didn't realise he'd be going out now (as he finished work around 2.30pm) and made a comment that I "can't catch a break". He got annoyed and said that he can never do anything for himself without me having an issue - he was home alone app of this weekend while I took my son to my parents, and is about to go away to visit family this weekend while I look after the children. He said that my time for myself recently was when I got my nails done while my son was sleeping in the pushchair...

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

He’s 100% wrong. DO not let him make you feel any other way. If he can’t even enjoy a meal with you guys without watching YouTube, he’s a child.

Avatar

It's giving roommate. You're not wrong at all

Avatar

Good

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

Teething hack

Thought I’d post this here because I’ve not met a single person that knows this exists. Either my friends and family live under a rock or it’s simply not common. This anbesol liquid (specifically the liquid) has saved my life. As soon as I put this on my babies gums it instantly works. He handles teething so well, not been an issue for me at all. I keep one in his baby bag and one in the house and never leave the house without it. It’s only suitable from 5 months I think. Hope this helps 🩷

Avatar

6

28

How do you feel about having your in-laws for five days in your home when your newborn will be 1 month old?

Hi all, my mother will come to help me after and before the birth for few weeks while my in laws would like to stay with us for 5 days or a week when the baby will be around 1 month. They are really nice people but I don’t feel comfortable living with them for few days while I’ll be still recovering and likely breastfeeding hence I’ll be with my breasts out most of the day, and being super uncomfortable, without having enough space and privacy. Plus my toddler will be home with a babysitter for a while and it might become overcrowded. Am I over worrying? I obviously don’t have the same issue with my parents but my inlaws they might struggle to accept they are not welcome in this delicate phase, especially because they are coming after one month and not immediately.
Any advice? My friends don’t really get it because they live with their parents nearby and do not have the issue of having parents abroad that must stay with you when they come to visit you because a hotel would be a crazy option to propose.

Avatar

13

What would you do?

I’ve just found out I’m pregnant with baby number 2 and my husband and I are very excited to tell our closest family. We’re having a dinner tomorrow night with my in-laws and I’m in two minds about telling my SIL (and BIL) because her uncle has been in hospital unwell, and she’s found out (about 3 days ago or so) that he has terminal cancer. She’s quite upset understandably so I feel conflicted whether to share our news just yet…is it in poor taste/bad timing to tell her given her uncle?
I feel bad telling my MIL and FIL without her as we usually do family announcements for pregnancies like the 6 of us (she’s pregnant too). What would you do?

Avatar

3

Wanting to break up with partner or is it just postpartum

Hey, I’m 3 months post partum with my first baby and I feel like I’m having the same conversation over and over with my partner. He works shifts 2 days & 2 nights , so when he’s working I’m looking after our baby 24/7, I don’t get to eat or shower etc. I have no friends and families aren’t helpful so I don’t see anyone. I don’t leave the house unless it’s to do the same walk around my estate every day, or to go and buy baby supplies. I do all the housework, I’ve asked for his help numerous times but if I don’t do the job it won’t get done. I get very little sleep whilst he gets 8/9+ hours . I am fed up with waiting for him to be on days off so we can leave the house and we never do, we do a food shop that’s it. I’ve said several times and nothings changed. I get no ‘me’ time to do anything to make me feel better about how I look , I’m struggling and I feel done with my relationship. Is this normal? Are these feelings real or am I just struggling postpartum and being too sensitive.
I feel like I’m not appreciated at all, I have sacrificed so much and I’m struggling mentally all I want is to be able to do my makeup to feel better and leave the house so I’m not staring at the same 4 walls all day everyday. Am I the problem ?

Avatar

4

What does your cleaner charge you for oven clean/ fridge / dishwasher etc ?

Or what do you charge as a cleaner?
Do you charge ontop of your hourly rate ?

Avatar

1

4

My husband is leaving me to “find a better woman”

He says he’s going to trade up and find a woman who is better than me… he thinks he’ll find someone who can cook and clean better, be ready for sex 24/7, and not have opinions and just sit there silently all day.

He called me horrible, horrible names… he said I’m an embarrassment to our family, and all I do is humiliate them by talking to tell much. He said I’m a disgusting and nasty woman with nothing to offer him, and all I do is hold him back. He said he deserves a woman who works as hard as he does, and still maintains the home and kids by herself and is ready for sex at bed time, and wakes up wanting it too. He called me a whore and a bitch. He said I’m crazy and unstable and everyone hates me. He listed people we are close to (friends and family) and told me these horrible things they allegedly think about me, and how everyone tells him to leave me because he’s too good for me.

He didn’t come home last night… he went to his brothers house, and sent his brother to come get some of his things.

I feel completely blindsided… the night before he held me and told me he loved me and didn’t know how he got so lucky to have me. He told me he would give up everything for our family, and he thanked me for giving him the only family he’s ever known. When I pointed this out to him he just laughed this cocky laugh and said “things change.” I asked if there was someone else, which made him really mad, but he insisted there wasn’t. He said it’s all me, and I just suck so much he can’t stand the idea of spending another day with me, even if it means losing his kids, because I make him miserable and ruined his whole life…

I just don’t know what happened. I cried all night and just begged him to come home and talk to me, but he won’t. He says he’s weak for how beautiful I am and knows he’ll go back on his word if he sees me face to face, but he’s allegedly always hated me as a person and was just keeping me around because all his friends were jealous he pulled such a hot/attractive woman, but now they realize it’s just because I’m a psycho. (I swear I didn’t do anything leading up to this. It was just a regular day).

I feel completely shattered. I feel so insecure and sad and like I hate myself. He pulled at every single lose thread I had, and now I’m just unraveling and tattering all over.

Also, I pull my weight. Our house was my premarital asset. Both cars are in my name. I make three times his income. I am solely responsible for house maintenance, paying the bills, and child care. I cook every single night. We have sex nearly every single night. The house gets a little messy, but I’m working 50 hours a week and I never get time to myself, and the only thing I ever ask him to do is take the trash out. The dinner thing is because one night I got home late from the kids soccer game, so I made stuffed peppers for dinner and they weren’t homemade (they were stoffers), and he flipped out that I fed him slop. I served it on rice with homemade garlic bread, I just was tired and needed to feed my family… I busy my ass every day, and never complain about it. I just silently take it and make sure my family is happy. And now I feel so broken…

Avatar

17

Read more on Peanut