Rant

I feel like I am a lone in this pregnancy moved to the NC back in March of this year sahm and have no friends to rely on. When I say I am a lone I have a man but sometimes I think he is disassociating and not seeing I am crying for help. Like I feel like I am going to give birth at home when it is time cause the people we need to watch our 2 year old can’t even be reliable in an emergency situation. That one is long story short I had a gallbladder attack yesterday July 28 IYKYK called and texted and asked if they could come get the 2 year old cause I was told by the OB to go to the hospital and get checked out but got no response. I said fuck it and once again put my health on the back burner but then get yelled at by the people for not actually taking care of myself. The people I am speaking about is my man’s aunt who wants to be involved as she says. My dad lives 8-9 hours away so it is not like I can call anyone to help. Sorry this rant is all over the place and not like I can express it to anybody except for strangers on the internet.

in our community

How would you feel?

If you were spending money on yourself for the first time in 2 years (I just went back to work after 2 years of being a sahm) and your husband made comments about ‘just cause you have it doesn’t mean you have to spend it’ or ‘there’s more important things’ would you be upset? Or?

Burned out

I’m so burnt out and exhausted. I’m up before my partner with our 2 kids and he gets home 2 hours before their bedtime so I’m doing 100%. Even on the weekends he helps maybe 5%? I can’t remember the last time he got them dressed,made them food,gave them a bath,I always put them to bed as they only settle with me so he doesn’t even try. I just feel like I’m giving it my all while he’s not even helping a little. He goes away for a few months in a few weeks (I prepared for a year but it’s changed 5 times). I know I’ll be fine without him gone as again I do everything anyway but I’m just so tired,I can’t even go upstairs to change bedding without him falling asleep with them,I’ve told him he needs to get his bloods done as I don’t think it’s normal for him to constantly pass out when he has the kids for a few minutes,which also means I never get to relax. My jaw is constantly tense,I’m anxious and it’s not healthy. I had a shower the other day and I was gone for 6 minutes,I came back down and he was fast asleep whilst our kids played. I have brought this up to him but he just shrugs and says works tiring which I completely understand but I’m also tired,I sleep in our kids bed every night and they constantly crawl over me so I can’t even say the last time I had a decent night sleep whilst he gets an uninterrupted sleep and the days with them are beyond challenging at the moment 😩 his mum has said how lazy he is and even admits she’s mostly to blame but at one point is he going to step up?! He was great in the newborn stage for both of them but now even me asking for a nappy or an item of clothing is a chore for him 🙃

feel like baby doesn’t care about me

My 8 month old never gets excited to see me especially after not seeing him for a few hours due to work. He gets super excited with everyone else. Just seems like he doesn’t love me and never seems to want only me :( it’s heartbreaking because I see so many babies excited to be with their mums they are so attached. Any one else experienced this? cc

4yr old just not listening!!

He just won't listen to me plain as. He will listen to his dad but no one else. He will outright refuse to do what I ask him to do unless it's some sort of a bribe.

He will just shout 'No, No, No' in my face. I've ready all the how to books and tested all the tools. They simply don't work. He has zero interest in listening to me or any other person apart from his dad. We are a usually a happy family but this new attitude is winding me tf up

I'm 6 weeks pregnant with our second and I can't be doing with the stress of having to do everything for him because he refuses to do it and hubby just says 'leave him' he will learn his lesson. But he doesn't, he will constantly push that boundary and storm right through it!!

He knows there is a baby in my belly and mummy can't get frustrated right now but I think that's made him act out more.. Would appreciate some advice rn cause my head is pounding

Cleaning is super hard

Does anyone find it hard to find the motivation to clean? I'm aware I'm a new mom so everything is hard currently, even going to the bathroom, but I just hate it so much. In pregnancy cleaning was my pride and joy because I could move and have a clean house, however its been so hard to clean especially because I refuse to let others in the house do what I do. For context, my family is disabled and very... Simple with how they clean and I prefer my methods.

Now, even if the baby is asleep, all my brain screams for is dopamine. Dishes? So hard to get my mind to it. Sweeping/mopping?? MY BACK HURTS? I'm 20...

Maybe it's just processing I'm a adult now with a baby? I don't know.

Getting a shower, brushing my teeth, my medicine? All out the window lately. I have to force myself even if I get multiple breaks a day (my parents help with the baby when I'm stressed)

And despite that being a good thing to do, I feel terrible for handing her off. I just can't stand to see her cry.

Maybe I'm just stressed? But I feel I have such a easier time in parenthood compared to others. So how am I stressed enough to not be able to get energy to clean- The way I destress?

For the single moms

My divorce just became finalized this week, we only separated in April so it went super fast. I'm really struggling with getting a hang of being a single mom. I'm constantly overstimulated, it feels like nothing gives me a reset, I'm angry and impatient. I know my expectations are not age appropriate for my kids but it feels like I don't have control over it. I feel like I'm just in survival autopilot all the time.
Is this just how it is? I had one single mom friend and this is how she always was and I do not want to be like this. I've tried therapists, I found a medication that worked but my doctor messed up my prescription and I just haven't been able to ground and re-center since then. Is this just normal for this time period and as I process it will get easier?
Any advice on how to manage everything? It was so easy for me to be in my roles of wife and SAHM and I just knew what to do. I feel lost having to do it all now. My ex is still in the picture but I don't trust him and I'm always on edge when he has the kids so it doesn't even feel like a break. I am just at a loss right now...