Choking (TW)
Hi everyone, I really need some reassurance or advice because I feel awful.
Today my 7-month-old was eating spaghetti bolognese. It was blended, but not completely smooth because he’s been doing so well with different textures recently. His dad was feeding him while I was nearby.
I turned around because I heard his dad call my name, and all I saw was my little boy with his face bright red, eyes wide open, and sick coming out of his mouth. I couldn’t hear him crying or coughing, I could just see him gagging, and I genuinely thought he was choking.
Without really thinking, I picked him up and gave him back blows on his bare back because I thought he still had food stuck. He then started screaming and crying, and afterwards I noticed there was a red handprint on his back from where I’d hit him. He’s absolutely fine now and is back to his normal self.
I can’t stop replaying it in my head. I feel so guilty that I hit him so hard it left a mark, and now I’m worrying that I’ve scared him or that he’ll be frightened of me because of it.
Has anyone else ever been in a similar situation? Did I do the wrong thing? I feel like such a terrible mum, even though I was just trying to help him.
Please be kind—I’m already beating myself up over it.
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My eldest is now 17 but when she was a baby I remember her choking on something and I did exactly the same and felt awful afterwards but it's your motherly instinct kicking in and in a panic you're trying to save your baby. Don't feel bad mamma like you said he's absolutely fine and you were just doing what any parent would do in that situation xx
It probably only left a mark because he had no other clothes on, I’m sure it wasn’t as hard as you think it was. My girl regularly was nose sick and couldn’t breathe as a baby and I had to do that exact same thing and eventually it just became normal to me. Happened in the doctors when she got her jabs and the nurse said how well I reacted which was reassuring. She’s the happiest (90% of the time lol) clingy little baby ever haha. They literally remember no specific event at this age, it’s how you are towards him every day that’ll build the relationship you have xx
I haven't been in this situation but it's better to have potentially hit him a bit hard than to have him choke, so I think you absolutely did the right thing and I would do the same! Babies are so resilient, even if he's scared of you in the short term, I can't imagine it will last long. And most likely, it won't be enough to override the bond you already have!
Try to be kind to yourself ❤️
You did the right thing, don’t beat yourself up - lots of extra cuddles for you both and you’ll be back to normal tomorrow x
You thought that your baby was choking, so you did EXACTLY the right thing. Back blows need to be hard to do the job! Obviously, it's not nice for you to see a mark, but what an amazing mum you are to see it, act quickly and effectively, and keep your baby safe 💛
Hi,
I’ve not been in this situation. If it’s any reassurance, for the first 18 months babies cannot form memories and cannot remember “bad” experiences specially. Just prolonged exposure to cortisol and oxytocin will map out their brain chemistry.
If you’re doing what you can for the most part, your bub will feel the love - don’t worry x
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