I hope this isn’t rude, but it’s a genuine question because I’m curious. Why do so many mums on here accept the position of default parent?

I dont mind being the default when it comes to cleaning the house, doing the laundry, food shop etc. Mostly because I am so much quicker at the day to day stuff, and my husband enjoys the deep clean stuff 🤣

I absolutely refuse to the be the default parent though, all things childcare are 50/50 when we're both at home. We share bed times, night wakes, doctors/dentist appointments etc

My husband works a more demanding job than I do and he needs his sleep for this position. We've worked it out and him doing good at this job will pretty much set us up for life. And he still helps out a lot. If he wakes up at night to the baby crying but I dont, he will not wake me up. No matter how many times I've told him to. And I just prefer to do everything tbh cause I have very specific ways I like everything done and he just doesn't do it right

Incog, I’m curious as to what your 50/50 dynamic is like

Personally I'm happy to do it because it allows me to be stay at home, which I much prefer over going out to work. I never have to worry about anything, literally all i have to do is take care of my son, tidy up, and cook dinner, so I'm not complaining

As a breastfeeding mum it’s basically impossible not to be the default parent. I’ve done all the nursing, and night wakes because what’s the point in him waking up when he can’t physically do what baby wants.

He does like 90% of the cleaning and cooking though so I feel it’s pretty fair

I think it's because the beginning you sort of have to be. You are the one carrying, the one breast feeding etc. So because it's that way in the beginning it just continues that way. If you want the dad to be default parent you have to actively make it so.