I'm looking for some honest perspective from other women because I'm feeling really confused and hurt after a conversation with my husband today.
For years, I've tried to be the supportive partner. I've rearranged my work schedule so he wouldn't have to miss work, worked late nights and weekends to make up my hours, handled last-minute changes, and tried to make life easier for our family. I work full time from home while also caring for our kids, but because I work from home, he feels my job isn't as demanding and says he doesn't understand how I can be overwhelmed.
Today, I calmly told him that I've been feeling unappreciated. I wasn't blaming him or attacking him—I was simply trying to share how I feel. Instead, the conversation turned into him saying that I don't do what a wife is supposed to do.
When I asked him what he meant, his example was that he had to do the dishes today and that he accepted doing "a wife's job." The thing is, I worked a 12-hour day today while caring for the kids, and he has today plus the next two days off. I didn't realize I was expected to do the dishes during my lunch break just to be considered a good wife.
I'm honestly questioning myself. Is this a normal expectation? Am I missing something? How would you respond if your spouse told you that doing the dishes is "a wife's job," despite everything else you contribute to your family?
I'd really appreciate hearing from women who have been through something similar or can offer an outside perspective because right now, I'm feeling hurt, unseen, and wondering if my expectations of partnership are unrealistic.
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Most of the men I met expects the woman to work a full time job and be a house wife. Sometimes I feel like my husband acts more like my son than a husband. I started telling him to cook and do the dishes. Not every night but maybe once or twice a month? I seriously can’t do it all. I feel overwhelmed and stressed out as it is. Thank God my mil lives with us and helps us a lot. You are not alone. I think mothers spoils their sons into thinking the women’s suppose to do everything. Unfortunately both my mother and mil are superwoman in the family. I really had bad role models growing up. Family life was messed up. My sole advice is listen to your body, know your limits because if you crash, no one can care for your kids like you do

He sounds like an ass honestly. Being a wife is being a life partner not a maid. I would be fuming and end my mariage if my husband would tell me I'm not acting like a wife (while expecting me to provide free sex, free cleaning, cooking,...).

If my husband told me that I would’ve laughed in his face. If you use a dish you can wash it. If you wear clothes you can wash it. If you eat food you can cook it. You entered a partnership not adopted a man child. If he wants a “wife” he can do his “manly” duties and start making enough money so you don’t have to work. He wants a house keeper not a wife and that’s sad.