Sex in pregnancy
Since becoming pregnant I completely lost my drive. Since being in the 3rd trimester, I’m struggling more and more…I feel like I’m just surviving right now. My partner last night told me we haven’t done the deed for 3 weeks…even though I’m pretty sure we did it last week. Someone is losing track of time, I’m not sure if it’s me or him😆he has expressed many many times about how sexually frustrated he is and how much he misses it, so I can understand how it could feel like forever for him. But I just don’t think he understands how things are for me. How do I get him to truly understand and sympathise? Yesterday I asked if we could try to do the deed to encourage labour (I’m 38 weeks & getting fed up). But I’m still working a physical job full time, got home at 6pm. I’m barely sleeping so I’m SHATTERED. My pelvis was in AGONY, it gets worse throughout the day so it’s at its worst by evening. I was having period cramps (which I get every night, I always think maybe Labor is on its way but it disappears by morning🫤). I had super bad heartburn and actually had acid/vomit coming up my throat. Felt super breathless, almost like I had asthma. I’m sitting here fighting for my life with 100 things going on😆and all he’s thinking is “she told me we were having sex tonight”. So he got annoyed and moody. We didn’t speak for 4 hours & both just went to sleep. I think a lot of the time he thinks I’m making up excuses to avoid it (but I’m really not). I just CANNOT get myself in the mood when I’m struggling with countless things? I think he forgets there’s a whole ass 7lb baby inside me. It’s hard work🤣the pressure to have sex is starting to annoy & stress me out to be honest. I understand he has needs & it must be annoying. But he needs to remember everything has changed for me, everything is difficult and uncomfortable. Nothing has changed for him. No pain. No hormones. No giant belly. Still the same energy levels. Still sleeping. How do I get him to understand this ??? It just doesn’t go in. We’ll discuss it then the next day he’ll hint that I don’t fancy him anymore Because of this.
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as long as you’re being clear in how you feel and what your body feels like, this is totally a him problem. Sex drives come and go in different life and phases and it’s not fair for one person to pressure the other one, especially when it’s related to health or wellbeing.
I would personally send him some articles about sex drive during pregnancy and postpartum because it doesn’t sound like he’s considering you in any of this and how hard your body is working. It actually makes me feel really concerned for you and how he will handle this when the baby is here 😔.
FWIW me and my husband didn’t have sex for over a year after our first baby was born. We might have been a bit longer than some others, but from talking to close friends every one of them was a few months at least! It’s not just physically healing, it’s how you feel emotionally- and I was just very much not feeling able to be sexual when caring for a baby took so much of my energy.
Please take care of yourself xx
Strap a watermelon across his stomach for him to carry and stamp on his balls in the process 😒
In all seriousness. You have to do what is right for your body. If it doesn’t feel good for you right now that’s ok!! He needs to understand that this period will also extend to post birth. There are some creators online male ones who share how to be a helpful partner. Taylor- a built different dad is good
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