Am I a bad person for feeling annoyed with my husband?

My husband’s mum was diagnosed with breast cancer yesterday, but the doctors think it’s early stage. They said it’s treatable, but to be 100% sure they need to do a few more tests, which they’re doing.

Anyway, my husband is acting like his mum is definitely going to die, and I’m starting to get annoyed. Does that make me a bad person?

We have a 17-month-old little boy, and we have no support at all. I’m already exhausted every single day, and I honestly feel like I can’t handle anything else right now.

in our community

Who is in the wrong

I have a 2 year old and 10 week old. I gave birth second time via emergency C-section and since had an infection in the wound that only recently went away. I have days where I feel sick as a dog and the little one still isn't sleeping great and wants to be held all the time. I'm breastfeeding and trying to pump to build up a small stash for dad to do some feeds.

Last night we got into a massive argument. My partner works full time but also has a business he is trying to get up and running. He will come back for the eldest's bedtime for an hour or two, then head back out until early hours of the morning. I barely see him.

Since my second was born I've struggled a lot with mental health. I done everything with the eldest prior to birth so I struggled so bad when I could no longer do it. I am back lifting him now since 6 weeks.

Last night I asked if dad could stay home because I feel overwhelmed from no sleep and looking after the baby who is cluster feeding. It ended in an argument where he said he's tired too, he works long hours and me messaging him to say I'm proud of him he hates because he doesn't think I'm supporting him when I ask him if he's in or out. He's blamed his dip in sales on me, said my job is the kids and that I need to stop moaning because I'm depressing him. I pay on my own for the eldest to go to nursery a few days a week and he said that he doesn't understand why I'm still overwhelmed. I've tried explaining multiple times the difficulty with no sleep, cluster feeding and my mental state overall. I do all the food shopping and housework. He doesn't have to do any of that bar sometimes putting the bins out.

Am I asking too much of him? He doesn't want me speaking to him about my day if it's been hard. Doesn't want me to say if I'm ill. I do love the man but finding I'm feeling alone and without support. Last night he said he isn't happy and slept downstairs. Day to day I have to fit showering around the kids. I eat if I can find the time. He will help with bedtime, get his food sorted and I have to ask him to hold the baby while I try and eat.

Am I asking too much of him?

relationship breakdown

ladies, I am so stuck. me and my partner have been close to breaking up a few times due to online infidelity on his part, for the sake of our little one and him saying he didn't wanna lose me we stayed together.. but now I'm just ugh, I'm so scared to leave because there's no way I can afford my home by myself - UC probably won't help with the majority of my rent as I'm in a 3 bed, but because my other son's dad claims the CB he's not recognised as living with me (long story!) my little man is breastfed, and just I don't know what to do. 😭
I'm a bit messy, always have been and I try to do as much tidying as I can but it's never good enough and it seems that he holds no accountability for his actions in this relationship and that it's all me.
any advice? :(

Who is in the wrong?

Car seat has been in my car for the last week. Husband switched it over this morning to take our baby to nursery but didn't tell me. I left the house to pick him up this afternoon and the car seat was obviously missing. Had to hand (upset) baby back to nursery and go back and get it.

We do have another car seat in the house which he could have taken, but he took the one out of my car.

I'm angry but should I be? He says I should have checked the car seat was in the car before I left but I had no reason to think it wouldn't be! Am I expected.to check every single time, when he could have just told me he took it out 🙄

MIA

So my baby dad went to house sit for a friend when our baby was a couple weeks old, she is now 4 months and he is not back. He visits (8 hrs a week spread across 2 days), but doesn’t do much to help me. He says he’s not moved out, but he’s seeming to be getting pretty comfy there (permanent fixtures etc). The friend is happy him being there as he is abroad and looking at moving there). Very complicated situation. My 3 year old is struggling with the change.

Screen time when they're ill

We have a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old. We try to limit screen time as much as we can and only do TV (no tablets or phone screens). They can watch a Julia Donaldson film or a few episodes of Bluey at the weekends and the odd 30 mins if needed during the week but not every day or anything.

They both have a stomach bug at the moment and feel rubbish with cramps, etc. I'm letting them do what I would want to do, which is curl up on the sofa and watch TV. However, I'm so conscious that when this passes, I'm going to have a nightmare cutting the TV out again. Do other parents do this and throw rules out the window when their kids are ill?!

Potty training

Looking for some advise with potty training. My son will be 3 in October and we’re thinking of starting potty training. I have attempted it before but stopped. So he seems to show all signs of being ready to be potty trained. He gives cues when he wants to do a poo. Sometimes he will tell me he’s done a wee and he’s dry mostly every night when he wakes in the morning. We have a potty in the area of the house we are most in which is the living room and we have hard floors downstairs, no carpets. He absolutely hates having his nappy changed. I’ve let him become nappy free in the day and of course accidents happen. I would say he has around 8-10 accidents when he has no nappy on. But every time he does a wee on the floor it freaks him out and he gets upset over it. So I’ve put pants on him and when he does do a wee he doesn’t tell me and it doesn’t seem to bother him like I thought it was supposed to. Like he’s supposed to feel uncomfortable with the wetness. Sometimes I won’t realise straight away as I have a 1 year old too that I’m playing with also.
I’ve also let him try using our actual toilet and always taking him with me when I need to go to let him know it’s a normal function. He seems so fascinated when he goes with me that he wants to sit on the toilet also which is great! But when I sit him on it he doesn’t do anything. Gets off, flushes the toilet and washes his hands but he seems to want to do that over and over again and I think he just likes the idea of that and thinks it’s fun. Honestly if it was up for him he would do that over again for hours so when I eventually take him away from the toilet his is crying hysterically, saying “toilet” over and over again. I do let him use it again but it comes a point that if he’s not doing anything in it then I won’t let it anymore and remind him he has a potty downstairs to use. (We have an actual toilet potty that has a flush button we got from Aldi just to make it more fun and exciting for him). It’s like sometimes he seems really interested in it but then doesn’t actually want to use it for what it’s used for. And although I leave it out visible and remind him of it he just the suddenly doesn’t seem interested. I’m wondering if I’m missing a different approach? Is there anything new or different I should try? I’ve got a sticker chart and a food jar reward. He’s brilliant at sitting on it and always praise when he does. He’s not afraid of sitting on it. I’ve spoke to the HV but she doesn’t really seem to have any other advise apart from to keep doing what I’m doing but I’m worried I’m missing some trick that could make it feel easier for him or maybe he’s not quite ready at all? I feel the longer I leave it, and leave it down to him, then he would probably never use it 😅
TIA!!!