Who is in the wrong

I have a 2 year old and 10 week old. I gave birth second time via emergency C-section and since had an infection in the wound that only recently went away. I have days where I feel sick as a dog and the little one still isn't sleeping great and wants to be held all the time. I'm breastfeeding and trying to pump to build up a small stash for dad to do some feeds.

Last night we got into a massive argument. My partner works full time but also has a business he is trying to get up and running. He will come back for the eldest's bedtime for an hour or two, then head back out until early hours of the morning. I barely see him.

Since my second was born I've struggled a lot with mental health. I done everything with the eldest prior to birth so I struggled so bad when I could no longer do it. I am back lifting him now since 6 weeks.

Last night I asked if dad could stay home because I feel overwhelmed from no sleep and looking after the baby who is cluster feeding. It ended in an argument where he said he's tired too, he works long hours and me messaging him to say I'm proud of him he hates because he doesn't think I'm supporting him when I ask him if he's in or out. He's blamed his dip in sales on me, said my job is the kids and that I need to stop moaning because I'm depressing him. I pay on my own for the eldest to go to nursery a few days a week and he said that he doesn't understand why I'm still overwhelmed. I've tried explaining multiple times the difficulty with no sleep, cluster feeding and my mental state overall. I do all the food shopping and housework. He doesn't have to do any of that bar sometimes putting the bins out.

Am I asking too much of him? He doesn't want me speaking to him about my day if it's been hard. Doesn't want me to say if I'm ill. I do love the man but finding I'm feeling alone and without support. Last night he said he isn't happy and slept downstairs. Day to day I have to fit showering around the kids. I eat if I can find the time. He will help with bedtime, get his food sorted and I have to ask him to hold the baby while I try and eat.

Am I asking too much of him?

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He seems to be doing less than the bare minimum... you shouldn't be afraid to ask your partner for help. You and the kids don't sound like a priority to him. I would say try talking to him again but evidently that isn't working... do you have family locally to help support as well or is it just you?

My partner works terrible hours and I pretty much told him if he wants me to eat to feed his son then he has to let me eat. I showed him the cost of formula and luckily he realized how much he is saving. I do wish my oldest went to daycare as I feel like she doesnt get enough her time. I also save housework for when hes home cuz he hates a messy house. When I get a chance I try to do some stuff. Also just know it does get better mama. Its a long tough road but it gets better. Also try not to pump while baby is cluster feeding. And stock up on microwave meals. If you want you can reach out and vent anytime

I’m sorry but that’s awful. He’s really not pulling his weight. I have a toddler and young baby who I’m breastfeeding and it’s so difficult , I really don’t think men always understand. You’re also still healing and he really should be helping out more and also giving you some time to yourself. He gets to clock off, you don’t. Working is so much easier than being a stay at home parent and it sounds a bit like he’s looking for excuses to stay away. Do you have anyone else who can help out? I’m finding doing the housework impossible with the kids, even with my eldest being at nursery some of the week . If he’s adamant he’s not helping, could you get him to pay for a cleaner?

You are absolutely not asking for too much. We have a 2 year old and 3 month old twins, I understand how tiring it is with a toddler. You are doing amazing, try and remember that. Do you have any family support? x

in our community

Toxic MIL

My mother is law is vile. Wondered what everyone else's is like.

She even yelled in my face that "he was my son till you came along " whilst in our house and our baby was sleeping

I really resent my partner

I’m on mat leave with my second who is 8mo and we also have a 4 year old.

When we found out I was pregnant we always said we’d continue to have an active social life and see people etc. 2026 was always going to be a mad busy year as we have a few friends weddings/stag/hen do’s in. But my husband has just been so excessive with plans - he’s out at least twice an evening in the week and then usually out Sat night / away Sat night & Sunday twice a month.

I think cos I make my plans during the day seeing friends and I’m tired in the evenings so I make less evening plans but I’m just exhausted doing double bedtimes and really resenting my partner. I obviously am aware he is very much entitled to a social life but I just wish he’d dial it back a little cos him swanning off and skipping out of bedtime is just pissing me off big time. Not really sure what I’m asking for - solidarity? Am I being just a bit of a tired moany cow? Should I say something? Should I just have some choccy and stfu?

For what it’s worth my 8mo wakes 2-3 times in the night and generally is up at 5am which generally falls on me unless I basically shove my husband to take him so I can rest 🥴

Has anyone potty trained aged 2?

I want to potty train when my child turns 2 in a few months. I see a lot of people saying they did it at 3 years old. And I just wanna know how it went, how long, could your toddler talk say toilet etc

My partner is so rude

Hey everyone. I don’t have anyone who I could speak to about this so just thought I’d ask for peoples opinions on here.

My partner and I often have arguments, as many people do but he is so rude and disrespectful to me constantly and it’s really getting on top of me now.
For context- he works full time and I work 2 days a week in a school so I’m currently off on school holidays. It’s my daughters birthday tomorrow and we have just argued because I asked him to put the birthday banners up just after he finished blowing up balloons at 11:15pm but he was annoyed because I didn’t put this on the list of things he needed to do which included- build a mini trampoline and electric car and blow up balloons. During this argument he said:
* “You’re crazy- you need medicating”
* “I’m the one who’s been at work all day- you’ve been at home.” This is after I’ve literally been busy doing things for my daughter’s birthday all day. Party food shopping, went to card factory, did washing and put it out, built her play house, hoovered up, decorated her cake.
* “I’ve been busy doing all this while you’ve just been upstairs ” he’s referring to the fact I was bathing our daughter, putting her to bed which also took 40 mins and then showering myself at 10:15pm
* Says “you just make everything so difficult” often says this to me. But here was referring to the fact that I’ve been busy all day and it would not have taken him this long to do the things I’ve done basically.

I called him a cunt, nasty and said he is the rudest person I know. Which honestly I believe both are true. He is so disrespectful to me all the time like this. Calls me a liar constantly if I get something slightly wrong eg, he called me crazy and when I repeated back to him the rude things he’s said, I used the word psycho cause he has used that words many times and he called me a liar because he said crazy.
He didn’t today but he will often say things to me like “oh you don’t even know the meaning of that word. Is it another tik tok buzz word”.

I love him and we recently had a talk about both of us improving on things but I’m struggling with how rude he is to me tbh. I just don’t see why he can’t help me finish the jobs setting up for her birthday tomorrow.

Wedding or Funeral?

You're the maid of honor to your sister in law's but your grandma passed away and the funeral is held the same day. You're not really close to the sister in law, went out less than 10 times together. Grandma raised you up since parents were always at work.
2 daughters are the flower girls. Husband is one of the groomsmen.
What would you do?

Is there ever a morally grey area regaurding cheating?

Ive thought about cheating...my husband is honestly kind of verbally abusive, I want to leave but it's just not plausible at the moment. It's something I'm working towards but it's just not gonna happen soon. Me and my kids are safe he's just an a hole sometimes. And it's not all the time, most of the time things are fine. Ive noticed over the last like 6m that he's not as interested in sex. He'll still want it but not as much. Ive gone through his phone he not physically cheating but he's got porn chats on discord, and the app 'likee" thats basically short form soft porn..and when he does want sex he really only cares about his own orgasm. All this to say, I'm almost completely not attracted to him anymore. Ive been day dreaming about messaging an old friend. Or even a stranger. I just want to feel beautiful and wanted.. Obviously cheating is wrong... But do you think there's ever a morally grey area? I'm not gonna do it... But it did have me wondering...