Help! Sleep deprivation, I’m at breaking point

I am genuinely at breaking point. My 10 month old little girl just does not sleep.

We’ve tried 2 nap days, 3 nap days, early bedtimes, late bedtimes, sleep pressure, you name it, we’ve tried it. She wakes anywhere from every 40 minutes to every 2 hours. She has always been a frequent waker, but we’re now at 8+ wakes a night and, instead of the quick boob and straight back to sleep we used to get, she is sometimes awake for 1-2 hours.

As soon as I put her in the cot, even when I think she’s completely asleep, she rolls over, crawls to the side, stands up and shouts until someone picks her up and cuddles her. There is absolutely no chance of "drowsy but awake", she stands up and cries until she is picked up.

And yes, I know that one day I’ll miss this. I know there will be a "last cuddle" that I won’t realise is the last cuddle. I know she won’t always want me to pick her up. Blah blah blah. I KNOW. 😂 But right now, I am broken.

I am so, so tired. I haven’t had more than two hours of uninterrupted sleep for nearly 5 months. Honestly, this feels like sleep torture. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me, but my lack of sleep is now affecting my ability to be the mum I want to be. I am exhausted beyond words.

My husband is doing absolutely everything he can to help and he genuinely cannot support me any more than he already is. He is amazing. This isn’t a case of me needing my husband to "help more", we are both doing everything we can.

Her room is as good as it can possibly be, blackout blinds, white noise, air con when it’s hot, etc. We’ve had a sleep consultant. We’ve tried different routines and sleep schedules. Nothing has really made a lasting difference, which is making me wonder whether this is simply her personality rather than a sleep pressure or routine issue.

I genuinely feel like I have tried EVERYTHING and I am at my wits’ end.

So please, I’m not looking for comments telling me to enjoy the cuddles, that she’ll grow out of it, or that I’ll miss this one day. Or that I need to look at her sleep pressure. I know all of that, and I’m grateful for her, even when I’m completely exhausted.

I want practical advice from mums who have been in a similar situation.

If your baby stood up, screamed and refused to be put down every single time you tried to transfer them into the cot, what actually worked for you? How did you break the cycle? Did you have to change how you responded to the standing/crying? Did anything finally get them sleeping for longer stretches?

I desperately need some ideas because I cannot keep functioning like this. Please tell me what worked for you. 😭

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not long lasting advice but could u maybe try co sleeping for a few nights so u can at least get some rest my lo is only 4 months but the nights he’s restless i have him in bed with me and do side laying breastfeeding so he can pop himself on and off as he pleases and i can sleep pretty much all night only wake if he stirs if hes having trouble finding the boob🤷‍♀️

This probably isn’t going to be what u want to hear but if u genuinely are that exhausted i would co sleep! I co sleep with my girl if i didn’t i would be going through the same as u instead she sleeps through most nights or if she stirs i put her dummy in and she goes back to sleep. She sleeps holding my husbands hands and he cuddles into her and that’s her gone for the night she hates her cot and I tried everything and gave up! Also formula! I know u probably dont want to but adding that bottle in even if its just the 1 at night time made a huge difference to us it really does fill them up more and for longer good luck xxx

We hit this point in June with our baby. We tried a gentle sleep training with her and it worked so fast we were shocked.

She has a 40 min nap in the morning around 9:30 and a lunch nap around 1-3 (this has recently become a struggle again, but for a while was good).

We put her down to sleep at 7:30ish and wake up around 7am. During the night, she wakes up twice for a bottle, but usually no other wake-ups.

We put her down for night-time sleep and naps the same way:
Wait until she’s ready and tired, had her bottle, read her a book, sing her the same song, and then put her in the cot awake, telling her goodnight. Leave the room.

Initially she will cry, and we will return every 2 min, 2min, then every 4 min after that, to put a hand on her to soothe her and tell her we love her, but do not pick her up. The first night we did this, she cried for about 20 min total, then put herself to sleep. Now it’s much faster, she rarely cries for more than a minute before she is asleep.

I would co-sleep if you want to sleep.

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