Are my feelings valid?

I am 25 days postpartum with my first. My husbands job normally has him traveling but I thought when we knew we were due he would try to not go out of town in the first month. Tomorrow he leaves for a week to another state. Am I over reacting by being upset and overwhelmed?

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I think it’s definitely valid to feel upset and overwhelmed by being left alone with your newborn 24/7 for a week! Did you communicate that thought to your husband? Ask him to try to not travel for the first couple months? While I love my husband dearly he is no mind reader and I’ve learned I have to tell him what I expect otherwise I’m likely to be disappointed.

Yeah I voiced that I would rather him be home and I’m nervous and scared about being by myself and all he said was that it’s work and he has to go.

He doesn’t get any type of paternity leave? My husband works and travels a lot too but he was about to take a few weeks off to spend time with baby and I and when he did go back to work he tried his hardest not to travel.

You’re 100% Valid. My husband is in the military and it’s hard. Especially now since he’s deployed and won’t even be home for the birth, I don’t know when he will be home tbh. 😬
So I understand how you feel 1000000%

First - Big hugs and congratulations on your first baby. ♥️ I’m not sure what state you’re in but did he not get paternity leave? Most states offer paternity leave and some offer FAMLI, this is what me and my partner did when I had my daughter. Although, every state/place is different in that regard.

Secondly- it’s scary being alone especially so soon after you’ve had your little one and I’m so sorry you have to go through that. Postpartum is HARD. You just pushed a live human from your body and your body is still healing. Do you have any small village helping you?

Thank you! And yes they say they will help while I go back to work, my company doesn’t offer maternity leave and his doesn’t offer paternity leave. We had to take PTO for our time off. He only took the week I had my c section off.

I’m so sorry that’s terrible! I do think your feelings are absolutely valid and you have a right to be upset, this is a hard season of life and feeling like you’re doing it alone even for a short time is difficult. I would definitely speak your feelings.

in our community

at what point can i just give away the toys? lol

my almost 7 year old refuses to clean her room. she will kick and hit and scream and fight and flat out refuse shouting “NO!!!” until we give up. sometimes very seldomly she will cave and attempts to clean it over the span of several hours, sometimes a whole day and complaining the entire time, after literally days of fighting with us about it. but she will only do it if someone stands in there with her and delegates tasks. this is unsustainable as i have 781 other things to do around the home and a 3 month old to care for.

i have made a chore chart getting her room able to be clean within 5-6 steps, when focusing and just getting it done it takes at most 30-45 minutes if it’s really, really messy. i have cleaned it for her, i have stood in there to delegate tasks, i have tried firm, i have tried soft, i have tried everything and nothing works. i am always telling her to pick up after herself when it’s small so it doesn’t get big and hard to manage yet this happens literally every time. at what point can i just donate the toys except the ones she actively plays with everyday? should i take them and put them up in a box and she can earn them back? what do i do???

she’s currently on Day 4 of no TV/screen time and no special treats until she does her chores and still, no end in sight. i’m so burnt out i just want her to do her chores because it’s the right thing to do she can’t just make massive messes and never help clean them up.

Do you pick up your child from the nursery much earlier before the session ends?

My son’s nursery baby room session finishes at 6pm. Pick up normally starts from 5pm but I notice all the babies have gone home before 6pm. If I arrive at 5:45pm he would be the last one remaining in the room.

There was one time I got a call from the nursery saying my son was unhappy and he seemed to be very itchy from his eczema. I went to picked him up earlier and I notice another 2 babies were also being picked up at 4:40 pm.

Do parents (working or SAHP) generally prefer to pick up their children from nurseries early?

Drained and exhausted

So my boyfriend mom thinks I should’ve been stopped nursing my son and he didn’t defend that part not only that but he also says I’m making our son a “softy” he’s only 1 years old btw and my boyfriend comes home from work at 4:30pm and won’t spend time with him until it’s time for me to put my son and daughter for bed and wants to play mind you this is 9pm at night like you had
more than enough time to play with them both and didn’t and his mom said how is someone gonna watch my son if he wants be breastfed all the time well I don’t have a license right now so I’m in the house 24/7 everyday all day besides taking my kids in the backyard

Oh what a night

So, an evening that was meant to be a celebration of passing my driving test in Thursday and being able to relax with no children as turned into a shit show.
I had a gut feeling and have done for awhile now and checked my partners phone (massive wrong thing for me to do I know this) how ever I saw on his lock screen the suggestion Apple do and the top one was “send message to “name” on twitter so I looked and my god, he has been hounding women in his inbox for their OF and messages to and from women to pay for images etc bare in mind we’re in the process of buying a house so that transaction will be know to our mortgage advisors 🤦🏽‍♀️ also I have no personal issues with people on OF, it’s a boundary to me in a relationship.
So seeing this I screen shot a conversation so it’s on his camera roll when he opens it next haha..
he came into the room and mentioned anal, it’s something I told him can happen give or take when it’s right. I’ve also had bowl issues as a child as I’ve explained to him on days when I’ve teared or it’s softer than usually and then that night or the night after it’s brought up but today when I told him I’ve never told previous partners how much it’s hurts me his first response was “I won’t bother asking no more”
Not I understand so we’ll wait or something softer.
I’m probably over reacting but I needed a rant before I fall asleep while he’s downstairs 😂

Relationship crisis

Does anyone else regret who their baby daddy is? I’d never say I regret being with him because I got my beautiful boy from him. We’re still together but he’s just fkin useless! I find I have to ask permission to go have a shower, go shop or toilet whereas he just does as he pleases and doesn’t ask me if I need anything beforehand. He’s only just started realising how much goes into looking after a poorly baby (for context my boy has CMPA and silent reflux so will not be put down for more than 5 mins). Every time I take baby back to the drs because the prescribed formula isn’t working etc he says I’m being dramatic but I’m the one who’s with him literally 24/7. He’s not helped with a single night feed since he was born and he’s 16 weeks now. I just feel so overwhelmed and overstimulated I can’t even get this post to make sense the way I want it to. Whenever I need to do something for myself it’s brushed off, for example this morning I’d got up with baby after cosleeping so not having decent sleep anyway and asking him to have him so I could eat and have a cup of tea without it being stone cold. He told me “yeah in a minute I’m about to put toast on” he didn’t offer to do me any or make me a brew. Instead, he used the last of the butter so I couldn’t even have breakfast and then told me “hurry up doing what you’re doing though because I’m going out soon”. I know I can handle being with my son 24/7 as that’s what I have to do when he’s working but why does he not realise that when he’s off it’s also supposed to take a bit of heat off me? I’ve tried having conversations about it but he gets defensive straight away and acts like he’s done me the biggest solid by having him for half an hour so I can cook us tea?! Has anyone else found this and how have you dealt with it because if this doesn’t turn around I’m so ready to try being a single mum🥲

Daycare

If you had 2 under 2. Would you send 15 month old to nursery while you are on maternity leave or is this not fair