Daycare

If you had 2 under 2. Would you send 15 month old to nursery while you are on maternity leave or is this not fair

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

I have a 3 month old and a 16 month old. My daughter starts in October for 2 mornings a week. I think from a developmental perspective it’ll be great for her, plus I then get some 121 time with my youngest x

Personally, I had an 18 month old when I gave birth to my daughter. He never left my side. I have the luxury of being able to be a stay at home mom so my husband went on paternity leave daycare has never been an option for us just because of all of the risks that I feel are associated with it. I don’t feel like anyone can take care of my kids better than me and I have the ability to. It’s an adjustment and it’s hard but it’s not impossible to manage both kids directly postpartum, especially if you have help it also gives them time to adjust to their new sibling because my son now is super loving towards his sister as he’s watching her grow he’s super helpful and I feel like that’s because we had him with usevery step of the way I even had him with me and my husband when I gave birth to her

My first started at 10 months old as I felt she was ready and needed more stimulation that I could provide plus. It gave me time to take my son to groups that my daughter was too old for. My son will start attending nursery when he 15 months old. Due to my partners working hours, they have two days at home with him so they will be getting a mix of home and nursery.

I also think it’s helped give me a bit more of routine before I return to work.

I’ve got a 2.5 year old and 7 month old and my eldest has been going to nursery while I’ve been on maternity leave. Purely for the fact she’s been going since 7 months old and I honestly couldn’t imagine taking her out and having to settle her back into nursery again as well as mg youngest when I go back in October.

I just cut her hours down x

My 3 year old continue to go to nursery while ive been on mat leave with my 3rd. My 2nd will be going to nursery in a few weeks time for the remainder of my mat leave all in preparation for my return to work

in our community

Am I an awful mum???

So the worst has happened this morning. My partner woke up with the baby and let me sleep in as I’m so exhausted. At about 9am he came in and put our daughter in bed with me so he could go to the toilet. He laid her next me and told me she was there. Apparently I replied saying that’s fine and looked at him and my daughter but I don’t remember this I was that exhausted and half asleep. Next thing I know my daughter is crying on the floor.. she’s fallen off the bed. I’ve been crying ever since I feel like the worst mum ever😭.
We think she rolled onto her belly then slipped off the side and banged her head on the side of the bed on the way down as she had a red mark on her forehead. Our bed isn’t very high but I feel awful. I asked my partner why he didn’t put her in her down bed, but he said he didn’t want her to cry. But I 100% get that I should have woken up and watched her😭.

She seems fine in herself. She stopped crying as soon as I picked her up to comfort her and has been fine ever since, I think my crying scared her a bit tho as she’s never seen me so hysterical. I asked if we should take her to the hospital to get her checked over but my partner thinks it isn’t necessary but I’m so worried now…

I feel like I hate my husband.

I feel like I’ve been getting annoyed at my husband a lot lately. I’m a SAHM, and he works from home except for one day a week when he goes into the office.

I feel like he expects me to do everything. I cook, feed the baby, do the deep cleaning, etc. He does try to clean too, but honestly, I don’t really like the way he does things. For example, he never cleans the bathroom, and he doesn’t really mop or vacuum. He cleans the kitchen, but even the way he washes things annoys me because he doesn’t rinse the dishes properly. We have a dishwasher, but he prefers to hand-wash little things throughout the day.

I’ve given him bath time with our 18-month-old son, but even then, when he gets him out of the bath, I’m the one getting his clothes ready and everything. Then he sits with him for like 15–20 minutes and puts him to bed.

During the weekdays, he does play with him sometimes during the day, but in general, I’m the one with our LO most of the time, which makes sense because he’s working. But when he doesn’t have meetings, he spends a lot of that time playing games.

I’ve started to really resent him, and honestly, sometimes I feel like I hate him. We used to be such a loving couple, but I don’t even feel like giving him attention anymore because of all this resentment I’m building up.

I feel like if I cook, he should at least take care of all the kitchen cleaning. Is that unreasonable? Am I wrong for feeling this way?

MIL problems with lack of responding over text.

My MIL reads my texts but very rarely responds. I can see her read receipts via iMessage.

I invited her to a family beach day about 2 weeks ago. Sent her another message about 1 week ago and another 3 days ago. No reply to either. I assumed she wasn’t going to come and had other plans. My FIL does not have a phone and I could not message him.

This morning we are getting ready to leave and she just sends me a message saying “what time are we leaving?”.

Unfortunately, they cannot drive and we would need to pick them up due to mobility issues. This would involve my husband picking them up and me driving with the kids.

I have already planned our day at the beach around them not being there. For example, pre paid at a longer walk car park, pre booked activities such as crazy golf and swimming at the marina centre

Do I try and change our plans? Could I explain that we already have made plans that they cannot do and that they can still come with us. Shall I explain why we cannot take them now?

This happens often and I’m getting a little frustrated about changing our plans last minute. It’s leaving our two boys frustrated and upset. I am actively trying to reach out and engage them in our little boys lives.

Am I tripping

So I have about 6 weeks left untill I give birth. I have no food in my home I do now cuz I went to the food pantry. My phone is off I'm using wifi. I'm 2 months behind on rent. I have no school supplies or school clothes for my two other children. Im in the negatives in my bank account. I have transportation. Yes I've tried calling resources but apparently you can't call free numbers with the wifi apps so I can't even reach out for gov assistance. is that enough to trip out on both baby daddies and cut them off. Yes I've told them both I'm struggling. I stupidly gave the unborn childs father money from selling my old car to get a new car he put my name on the insurance I only see that car when he's at my house he keeps promising to get me another in time for winter when I have to walk my other two to school but I'm feeling that not happening. I'm so tired. I feel I'ma have to buss it open online to make some money. Yes I've applied to a million jobs and have not gotten one. No the other dad can't take them he works over the road and lives in his truck. The other one doesn't even have a place he hopes between parents. Yes I'm a bird and a clown but I'm trying to get up I'm so done with men

Mostly a rant

I feel like I must be going out of my mind.

Me and my husband are constantly fighting. He keeps saying it's over the little stuff, but all these little things add up? And I feel exhausted when it's the same thing happening over and over again and he never listens to me.
He spent 4 months after baby was born telling me there was nothing wrong with baby, at nearly 5 months after constant fighting I have a diagnosis for him and it sucks to be right but also I don't know why my husband had to fight me so much and undermine me.
His mum never respects our boundaries and he pretends he doesn't see it rather than get involved in addressing the issue.
Our home is an absolute mess. As in, mould growing in places that don't get cleaned and I try my best to do what I can but birth left me disabled and I have a sick baby to look after all the time. I feel like I shouldn't have to walk him to something, put it in his hands and ask him to take care of it or clean it. I wish he'd just look around and see what needs doing. He also messes up whatever room I've managed to get on top of and it's like having a teenager in the house.
He also keeps doing really stupid things around the baby, like holding him whilst cooking steak and the fat is spitting everywhere or just a few hours ago leaving scissors balancing above our babies head and he keeps saying it's okay because nothing bad happened but surely that's beside the lint you want to try and avoid an accident at all costs?
I know nothing will resolve. I just felt like I needed to express this somewhere because everyone keeps saying he's such a nice guy but don't factor in how having a grown ass baby to look after is killing me.

How do you refer to your partner’s parents?

You’re not married or engaged, you see them all the time, they’re your child’s grandparents - what do you call them? I keep going to call them the in-laws but there’s technically no law involved so..?